My Private Part Died Today ( Archived) (16)

An old man, Mr. Goldstein, was living the last of his life in a nursing home.

One day he appeared to be very sad and depressed. Nurse Tracy asked if
There was anything wrong.. 'Yes, Nurse Tracy,' said Mr. Goldstein, 'My
Private Part died today, and I am very sad.'

Knowing her patients were forgetful and sometimes a little crazy she replied,
'Oh, I'm so sorry, Mr. Goldstein, please accept my Condolences.'

The following day, Mr. Goldstein was walking down the hall with his Private
Part hanging out his pajamas, when he met Nurse Tracy. 'Mr. Goldstein,' she
Said, 'You shouldn't be walking down the hall like that. Please put your
Private Part back inside your Pajamas.'

But, Nurse Tracy,' replied Mr. Goldstein, 'I told you yesterday that my
Private Part died.'
'Yes, you did tell me that, but why is it hanging out of your pa jamas?'

'Well,' he replied, 'Today's the viewing.'

Sorry.... I am clearly missing something here?? The viewing of a property, maybe.... but the viewing of a private part??


I've clearly got it SO wrong, it must be funny??!! (I think)

BEDROOM GOLF

1. The player will furnish his own equipment for play, normally
one club and two balls.

2. Owner of the course must approve equipment before play may
begin.

3. Unlike regular golf, the object of the game is to get the club
into the hole, while keeping the balls out.

4. For most effective play, the club should have a firm shaft.
The course owner may check the stiffness of the shaft before
allowing play to commence.

5. Course owner reserves the right to restrict the shaft length,
so as to avoid damage to the course.

6. The object of the game is to take as many strokes as possible,
until the course owner is satisfied. Failure to do so may
result in being denied permission to play the course again.

7. Players are cautioned to play the correct hole, as indicated by
the course owner.

8. It is considered bad form to begin playing the hole immediately
upon arrival at the course. Experienced players will admire the
course, paying special attention to the well formed bunkers.

9. Players are cautioned not to mention other courses they have
played recently to the owner of the course presently being
played.

10. If the course to be played is temporarily under repair, player
is advised to find alternate means of play.

11. It is considered outstanding form to play the hole several times
in one match.

12. Course owners shall be the judge of who is the best player.

13. It is considered bad form to reveal your score to other players,
or even that you have played the course.

14. Players are encouraged to have the proper rain gear along,
just in case.

15. Slow play is encouraged. However, players should be prepared
to play at a quicker pace, at least temporarily, at the
course owner's request.

16. Players are advised to think twice before considering
membership at a given course. Additional assesments may be
levied by the course owner, and the rules are subject to
change. For this reason, many players prefer to continue to
play several different courses

very funny. I worked in a nursing home, for some older gentleman that is totally true

i suppose you had great time there wolf? i really wish i'd help some day, just for the fun of it...really cool