Revenge--good or bad? ( Archived) (23)

I know this sounds funny however it's true! I have a friend who has recently been broken hearted. She then found out her ex has a new girlfriend. He didn't tell her another one of our friends did. Her ex still hung out at her house from time to time but never mentioned he had a new gf. He has been seeing this new girl for a few weeks and from what I know of the situation has liked this new girl for quite some time. My friend is really bitter about this because the relationship ended really badly. He was horrible to her and treated her really bad, strung her along until he was assured something else and then ditched her off. She slept with him last week just because she knew he had a girlfriend, and now she plans on telling the new gf that she has been cheated on. I don't know what to think of this one. Any suggestions?

hey and welcome, it is bad, revenge only leads to more hurt and letting it go leads to self understanding and reward. Goodluck, mach25 aka Paul.

That is what i've been saying to her. She has to let it go. She says she is over him and she has dated a good few people in between. I mean the broke up like 5 months ago. However they have still be sleeping together ever since. She claims that she wants to get him back because honestly and i do agree he deserves it. He was really horrible to her. From what I know she has also told all of his friends that this happened and they just told this girls friend tonight. I don't know if revenge is what she's after. Sounds to me like shes looking to get him back. Would you guys take an ex back if they did that to you?

Resentment is a "replay" of the negative. Revenge validates and strengthens the resentment. If she leaves the crap of the past in the past,remembers the "love" or pleasant reasons she was in the relationship, moves ahead and cuts the anger loose along with him she has a shot at Inner Peace....a good thing

Nope. To quote a friend of mine....theres a reason they're called ex's....

I agree with Moni....patiently waiting is in this case better than painfully knowing. It will come back on you 10 fold.

V.

Yep ex is an ex is an ex....there is always someone better out there.!

Well things can only get worse from here, in just talking with my friend on the phone, she told me she got one of her friends to tell a friend of the new gf and now it's all going to blow up tomorrow. I'm sure he will go to her house and blow a vessel yelling at her. I don't understand how she can do this. What closure can it possible provide.?.

Well my own opinion is.....: It hurts to be used and then tossed away but she is hurting herself more everytime she sleeps with him. I think maybe she sleeps with him still maybe is because she is hoping that he will realize he was wrong to leave her and come back to her? Maybe?? It's hard and it is going to hurt and nothing anyone can say or do will change that but my one and only suggestion to her is to move on. Cut him out of the picture and move on for herself, not necessarily to another guy just move on.. it will hurt for a very long time especially if they had a real sort of relationship.... Tell your friend I do feel sorry for her but trying to exact any sort of revenge will either backfire or at least will bring her down to his level and she doesn't want to cheapen herself like that.