Stooie's NON-Political, Religeous, War Mongering Views... Singles Thread ( Archived) (30)

WAR...RELIGION OR POLITICAL VIEWS - Please post on other threads

Lets have some fun

I'll go first.......

Teacher says to the kids 'give me a sentence with the word 'Contagious' in it'

Little Mary hand shoots straight up 'Miss, my mummy said that my little brother has 'Chicken Pox' and it is very contagious'

'Well Done, Mary' say Miss

Little Sarah is waiting ever so patiently with her hand up 'Miss, my Grandpappy had the Flu, my Grandma said 'It can be very contagious'

'Well Done, Sarah... that's a super description'

Little Johnny... has been thinking and thinking.... his little hand shoots up 'Ooo, Ooo Miss, Miss.... I know one, I know one'

Miss.... at little apprehensively asks Johnny to speak..

Little John clears his throat in a very dramatic fashion......'My Dad and I were in the car the other day... we were stuck behind a truck carrying apples to the market..... as we came to a corner.... the apples we split all over the road.... my Dad said it would take.... this C&nt ages to pick them up'

Ok, got one for you:

The Rooster

John the farmer was in the fertilized egg business. He had several hundred young
layers (hens), called "pullets", and ten roosters, whose job it was to fertilize
the eggs.

The farmer kept records and any rooster that didn't perform went into the soup
pot and was replaced. That took an awful lot of his time, so he bought a set of
tiny bells and attached them to his roosters. Each bell had a different tone so
John could tell from a distance, which rooster was performing. Now he could sit
on the porch and fill out an efficiency report simply by listening to the bells.

The farmer's favorite rooster was old Butch, a very fine specimen he was, too
But on this particular morning John noticed old Butch's bell hadn't rung at all!
John went to investigate. The other roosters were chasing pullets,
bells-a-ringing. The pullets, hearing the roosters coming, would run for cover.

But to Farmer John's amazement, old Butch had his bell in his beak, so it
couldn't ring. He'd sneak up on a pullet, do his job and walk on to the next
one. John was so proud of old Butch, he entered him in the Renfrew County Fair
and he became an overnight sensation among the judges.

The result...The judges not only awarded old Butch the No Bell Piece Prize but
they awarded him the Pulletsurprise as well.

Clearly old Butch was a politician in the making: who else but a politician
could figure out how to win two of the most highly coveted awards on our planet
by being the best at sneaking up on the populace and screwing them when they
weren't paying attention.

Awesome......

Hey Stooie.....


Just in here to have a laugh......nothing serious like whats going on out there.....get a bottle of bacardi some coke and lets dance......

I do so love a good party with nice people at it of course....

I quite agree, Stef! Even if they're small parties...sometimes, those are better!

Oh Happy Days.............

Btw, it says that you're only allowed 3 emoticons per post...how are you getting so many more than that? New here, and curious. I've tried to follow some of the things it tells you to do, like how to bold type, and it hasn't worked, so still trying to figure some things out.

Yipee , a flirting thread , whoo hoo , hello boys