What Is Jealousy? ( Archived) (14)

Sep 13, 2008 4:51 PM CST What Is Jealousy?
BarrenPneuma
BarrenPneumaBarrenPneumaGolden Staircase, Ontario Canada87 Threads 3 Polls 1,561 Posts
Jealousy implies dissatisfaction with what you are and envy of others, does it not? To be discontented with what you are is the very beginning of envy. You want to be like somebody else who has more knowledge, or is more beautiful, or who has a bigger house, more power, and a better position than you have. You want to be more virtuous, you want to know how to meditate better, you want to reach God, you want to be something different from what you are; therefore you are envious, jealous. To understand what you are is immensely difficult, because it requires complete freedom from all desire to change what you are into something else. The desire to change yourself breeds envy, jealousy; whereas, in the understanding of what you are, there is a transformation of what you are. But, you see your whole education urges you to try to be different from what you are. When you are jealous you are told, "Now, don't be jealous, it is a terrible thing". So you strive not to be jealous; but that very striving is part of jealousy, because you want to be different.
You know, a lovely rose is a lovely rose; but we human beings have been given the capacity to think, and we think wrongly. To know how to think requires a great deal of penetration, understanding, but to know what to think is comparatively easy. Our present education consists in telling us what to think, it does not teach us how to think, how to penetrate, explore; and it is only when the teacher as well as the student knows how to think that the school is worthy of its name.
~ Krishnamurti
bouquet
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Sep 13, 2008 7:31 PM CST What Is Jealousy?
hollandgirl
hollandgirlhollandgirlSomewhere in Canada. B.C., British Columbia Canada523 Threads 4,464 Posts
I have at times be envious, but not jealous.
Just wished that I could have it too without wishing to take it from the other.

teddybear
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Sep 13, 2008 7:55 PM CST What Is Jealousy?
shipoker58
shipoker58shipoker58Las Vegas, Nevada USA30 Threads 2,969 Posts
Jealousy is a wasted emotion ~ Shipoker
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Sep 13, 2008 8:18 PM CST What Is Jealousy?
The_Kansan
The_KansanThe_KansanKnoxville, Tennessee USA303 Threads 1 Polls 3,395 Posts
shipoker58: Jealousy is a wasted emotion ~ Shipoker


Oh my GAWD! Starlin, (you'd better sit down for this!) we're in agreement about this, as well!

Seems to me that it's a shame, not only that we have a word like 'jealousy' in the language, but that we even have a need to have this word in the language.
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Sep 13, 2008 8:25 PM CST What Is Jealousy?
livinglarge
livinglargelivinglargein a good place, Kildare Ireland10 Threads 5,879 Posts
Jiddy Krishnamurty also said that relationships are like mirrors, look into them and you will see yourself!
That is interesting Barren , perhaps if we look at our relationships with people we will find out how jealous we are or not. So in other words don't look at things ie someones Rolex , look at how we act and react around people .
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Sep 13, 2008 8:27 PM CST What Is Jealousy?
Hugz_n_Kissez
Hugz_n_KissezHugz_n_KissezSomeplace, Ontario Canada59 Threads 2 Polls 25,438 Posts
Correct...accepting who you are as a person and having confidence and trust in who you are leaves little room for jealousy....because you aren't looking outward at who others are...but looking inward and nurturing yourself....wine
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Sep 13, 2008 8:28 PM CST What Is Jealousy?
Tech49
Tech49Tech49Panama City Beach, Florida USA338 Posts
shipoker58: Jealousy is a wasted emotion ~ Shipoker


Very well saidapplause
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Sep 13, 2008 8:29 PM CST What Is Jealousy?
Tech49
Tech49Tech49Panama City Beach, Florida USA338 Posts
Hugz_n_Kissez: Correct...accepting who you are as a person and having confidence and trust in who you are leaves little room for jealousy....because you aren't looking outward at who others are...but looking inward and nurturing yourself....


I agree. Evening Shelleywave
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Sep 13, 2008 8:32 PM CST What Is Jealousy?
mylifewithu
mylifewithumylifewithuSpringfield, Missouri USA174 Threads 23,670 Posts
Hugz_n_Kissez: Correct...accepting who you are as a person and having confidence and trust in who you are leaves little room for jealousy....because you aren't looking outward at who others are...but looking inward and nurturing yourself....
Great answerhug thumbs up applause
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Sep 13, 2008 8:33 PM CST What Is Jealousy?
Hugz_n_Kissez
Hugz_n_KissezHugz_n_KissezSomeplace, Ontario Canada59 Threads 2 Polls 25,438 Posts
Tech49: I agree. Evening Shelley



Evenin Chuckie...wave wink hug teddybear hug bouquet
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Sep 14, 2008 12:28 AM CST What Is Jealousy?
BardlyD
BardlyDBardlyDCaledonia, Michigan USA18 Posts
Jealousy is born of insecurity, fear. This fear, in our genes, is the fear that our basic human instincts, to survive and replicate our genetic material, are threatened. Simply put, if the intention is to mate/breed with a partner, a rival threatens our intent to reproduce and we (male or female) get jealous.
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Sep 14, 2008 2:29 AM CST What Is Jealousy?
My opinion is that many people use the words jealousy and envy interchangeably to describe the same emotional response, a general feeling of resentment towards a perceived rival. While the emotions of jealousy and envy do tend to overlap in some respects, there are some fundamental differences between the two. Jealousy, for example, is almost exclusively a negative emotion, while envy can has some positive effects, such as a renewed interest in self-improvement.
One difference between jealousy and envy involves the relationship between the jealous or envious person and his or her rival. An envious co-worker may develop a personal resentment towards a promoted co-worker because the position represents a higher salary and more responsibility. The true source of this envy is rarely the co-worker himself or herself, but the perceived value of the position. The co-worker may very well deserve the advancement because of his or her superior skills or education, but an envious person might become angry at himself or herself for not possessing those qualities.
Jealousy, on the other hand, focuses on the rival himself or herself, not necessarily the object or "good" at the center of the conflict. Jealousy implies a closer relationship between the jealous person and his or her rival. Instead of a promotion, the co-worker may start a romantic relationship with the jealous person's secret office crush. Because this rivalry is personal in nature, the target of the jealous person's resentment and anger is not necessarily the unattainable romantic partner, but the more attractive rival who now stands between them.
Another consideration between jealousy and envy is the depth of emotion. Envy is considered to be one of the 7 deadly sins, but in general the moral danger lies with becoming covetous of another person's possessions or status. In one sense, envy is at the root of criminal acts such as burglary or fraud. The criminal develops an irrational envy for people he or she perceives as more fortunate in life, so the theft of a victim's property somehow balances the scales of fairness. Envy in its rawest form represents an irrational desire for material satisfaction, not necessarily ill will towards those who have it.
Jealousy, however, is largely focused on the perceived character of the rival himself or herself. It's not that a more attractive rival managed to "steal" a potential romantic partner; it's the unfairness that an undeserving rival can use his or her skills to take what rightfully belongs to the jealous person. Feelings of jealousy often go deeper than feelings of envy, which can lead to physical confrontations with the rival or even criminal acts of violence.
Feelings of jealousy are almost always negative, since the jealous person may continue to build up resentment towards his or her rival until the situation becomes untenable or volatile. Many cases of jealousy can only be defused if at least one side of the triangle is taken completely out of the equation. If the object of the jealous person's romantic interest begins dating a third party, for example, the tension between rivals should lessen considerably. Without a focal point for passionate emotions, jealousy generally loses its fuel.
Envy, on the other hand, can actually have some positive benefits, albeit after the fact. An envious person may be motivated to take the steps necessary to attain what his or her rival already has. Instead of developing irrational feelings of resentment towards a successful co-worker, for example, an envious person might pursue the same educational track as his or her rival, or take other steps to improve his or her own chances for a similar promotion. Resolving feelings of envy does not necessitate the removal of a rival or the "good" he or she now possesses, but it could require an attitude adjustment on the part of the envious one.
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Sep 14, 2008 2:34 AM CST What Is Jealousy?
BarrenPneuma
BarrenPneumaBarrenPneumaGolden Staircase, Ontario Canada87 Threads 3 Polls 1,561 Posts
Brilliant post Anna, I am happy to see that no matter the perceived wisdom of a man such as Krishnamurti, his words can always be expounded upon. Clarity can only be achieved through continual awareness and understanding. He would be very proud of your addition and correction of his words. As am I. Thank you for this elaborate participation.handshake
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Sep 14, 2008 2:37 AM CST What Is Jealousy?
SirenLydia
SirenLydiaSirenLydiaBury St Edmunds, Suffolk, England UK45 Threads 2 Polls 4,138 Posts
wise geeks is a very interesting site




peace devil
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