I'm hurt & confused ( Archived) (21)

Ok, here is my problem. I met a man a few months back threw a friend. He was with this woman for 5 years, married her than a week later she told him she was cheating on him & it was over. He was & still to this day is heartbroken over this. We started seeing each other. Everything was going great! Than he started telling me how we can't be together because he feels to much for me & is can't go threw another heartbreak & he fears I will do it just like she did. He tried pushing me away, than said sorry for hurting me & how much he cared & wanted to be with me. Now he's doing it all again! Instead of breaking up with me & leaving it as that he's messaging me telling how much he cares & is sorry for doing this to me & he's not worth my tears. I've tried telling this man that I think he is wonderful & he deserves better than what she did to him. I don't know how to help him or what I should do. Any advise?

His either really scared to be hurt again!
Or his just stringing you along in hope she will comeback maybe!
Anyway what would I know?

Leave him to sort himself out. When he's got himself together, he knows where to find you. You move on to whatever life has to offer you. All the best!

I've been thinking that but he's still hurt so bad & he needs to know that his worth more than what she did cuz he thinks he's worthless cuz what happened...I just don't know how to get threw to him & wanna be a good friend even though i'm hurting

some people need more time to heal and trust again, i know the shock of it all kept me away from most relations,it took me close to 4 yrs, and i try to not let my guard down, its hard to this day to trust again always, something 2 people have to build on

Sounds extremely similar to something that I've done and am not particularly proud of by the way.
I see it 1 of 2 ways here

1) He really is afraid of you hurting him again and he doesn't want to go through that again

OR


2) He is saying all those things to hold you at bay so you don't move one because he is looking for someone that fits him better. Basically, he's keeping you around so if he doesn't find something better he isn't alone. (This is what I have done and I can't explain why I did it either... Finally I realized it and stopped it though)



Best of luck with this man. I would be straight forward with him and let him know that you wouldn't do that to him and just genuinely open up to him. From there its a judgment call whether or not he is being sincere about really caring for you and just being afraid of being hurt or that he is doing #2. Again, best of luck and I hope all turns out well for you.



Wagner

I've tried telling him I wouldn't do that to him. idk...I guess i care to deeply for him & know what pain he's going threw cuz I've been there too & wanna see him get threw this. But maybe I just got to move on. Its hard though when he's messaging me & everything.

..............Yes Drop His Butt Now. He's Using You For An Inbetween Until Someone Else Comes Along. He Going To Drop You Sooner Or later. How Do You Know He's Being Honest,This Story He Told You (If True)Could Be Ten Years Old. He Is The Old Sad_Sack Lier.

The story he told you, OP, does seem highly unbelievable! Five years together then BAM a week after getting married it is over????? Certainly seems like a piece is missing from this "puzzle"..........