walley: lonly 1 with my hart i have to say this as i have went throo this as meney have i had a 10 yer merige loved my wife very mutch 3 kids and all throo waht evry one has told you is good advice but it sownds like you want out i did the opeset i spent 2 yers triying to save my merrige to a mate hoo dident want the merige but showd me throo croolty how to feel like a fool as she invited meny men too her bed while i was giving her space yes liyd to and deseaved the one thing that i kno is i gave my merige its all and i can walk a way with a clear conchence im a singl dad of an 11 yer old he is now my life and joy waht ever your choyse is make sher you walk with a morel and rite disishon so that you can rest your mind and sole that its the rite thing to do for you i hope you can read this as im deslexic
best of luck
Thanks Walley. I am sure each person on this site has their own story to tell. We all get involved in relationships that we expect to last until we die. Of course, living in some of our relationships is worse than death [very bad words]. It is sad for all involved. We all feel/know that we contributed in one way or another to the whole situation. There is a time when we know love is dead. We can try to spark it, but the bad feelings always seem to dampen each effort, plus one of the partner may even try to sabotage your best efforts.
You should not start a new relationship at all, whether or not you end the relationship you are in.
If it does come to an end, and you don't want to be lonely, involve yourself with your friends and/or make new ones, by either volunteering, get involved in your community, or take some classes.
Take time to get to know yourself and what you really want. Starting a new relationship is not the answer
TheKid52Birmingham, West Midlands, England UK490 posts
Lonely1: After a long and stormy relationship I think it may be time to start a new life. But with kids involved, joint property and the hassle of finalizing everything, the future does not look rosy.
Some say it is best to start a new relationship before the breakup, so that you are not lonely afterwords. Others say I should end the relationship before starting a new one. NO EASY CHOICE.
It is always darkest before the dawn! Not much point in living in misery which will spill over onto the children and have a bad effect on them. When its over its over and that is that. You have to move on and work harder than ever before as you will have to maintain the family home and the kids and pay for a place to live for you too! No roses but at least freedom, no luxeries either. It is lonely out there is there no hope of another shot at making things work with the lady you once loved? Look long and hard and deep surely there is a fibre of what you once saw that can rekindle love! Best wishes and good luck. I will pray for you to make the right decision.
TheKid52: It is always darkest before the dawn! Not much point in living in misery which will spill over onto the children and have a bad effect on them. When its over its over and that is that. You have to move on and work harder than ever before as you will have to maintain the family home and the kids and pay for a place to live for you too! No roses but at least freedom, no luxeries either. It is lonely out there is there no hope of another shot at making things work with the lady you once loved? Look long and hard and deep surely there is a fibre of what you once saw that can rekindle love! Best wishes and good luck. I will pray for you to make the right decision.
Someone with a big heart and brains to match. Sorry it took so long for me to respond. Thank you for your kind thoughts. The fact of the matter is that no one that I know of ever got married to divorce, but we know otherwise.
It is an easy choice. You should end the relationship before starting a new one. Being involved in a new relationship before the old one has ended is only asking for more problems and stress.
Lonely1: After a long and stormy relationship I think it may be time to start a new life. But with kids involved, joint property and the hassle of finalizing everything, the future does not look rosy.
Some say it is best to start a new relationship before the breakup, so that you are not lonely afterwords. Others say I should end the relationship before starting a new one. NO EASY CHOICE.
i was with someone for 15 yrs. married for 5 of them. No kids so I can only give opinion on that. Things started to slip after we bought the house. he seemed to give up on life and we tried councelling together and seperate....didn't work. he wasn't willing to do anything to help marriage out. If you have tried getting help and your spouse isn't trying then why not try a seperation. Then she can see what it is like without you and if she will make an effort to get you to come back. It took me 2 yrs of agony to make my decision to leave. I am happy now, even though I am still alone. I spend more time with friends and family. No matter the age of kids I don't believe it is healthy for them to see an unhappy relationship. they are more likely to think that is the way it should be when they grow up. Be civil if you leave as the mother will always be in the picture. Some ppl who divorce get along better as friends and the kids thrive. The decision is hard. Talk to friends and spouse about your thoughts. Might make decision easier. Good luck
babyoh150: i was with someone for 15 yrs. married for 5 of them. No kids so I can only give opinion on that. Things started to slip after we bought the house. he seemed to give up on life and we tried councelling together and seperate....didn't work. he wasn't willing to do anything to help marriage out. If you have tried getting help and your spouse isn't trying then why not try a seperation. Then she can see what it is like without you and if she will make an effort to get you to come back. It took me 2 yrs of agony to make my decision to leave. I am happy now, even though I am still alone. I spend more time with friends and family. No matter the age of kids I don't believe it is healthy for them to see an unhappy relationship. they are more likely to think that is the way it should be when they grow up. Be civil if you leave as the mother will always be in the picture. Some ppl who divorce get along better as friends and the kids thrive. The decision is hard. Talk to friends and spouse about your thoughts. Might make decision easier. Good luck
I can understand where you are coming form, Babyoh. Sometimes we get burned in a relationship and wait a long time for the person to see how much we are hurting. It could be that the only thing that is required is for the person to acknowledge what they did so both can move on in love. The love is still there but we are afraid to trust them anymore.
But being the selfish fragile creatures that we are, we dig our heels in and wait until finally the love dies or we just move on to new lives(hopefully before we are over the hill).
i am going through what you are talking about , his drugs were more important, we also have a house together, soon i will be taking over the payments , as he will be signing over the title to me, If i were you end the relationshipe first , if you want to talk you know where i am aye suzey i will let you know what i have done
suzey: i am going through what you are talking about , his drugs were more important, we also have a house together, soon i will be taking over the payments , as he will be signing over the title to me, If i were you end the relationshipe first , if you want to talk you know where i am aye suzey i will let you know what i have done
Lonely1: After a long and stormy relationship I think it may be time to start a new life. But with kids involved, joint property and the hassle of finalizing everything, the future does not look rosy.
Some say it is best to start a new relationship before the breakup, so that you are not lonely afterwords. Others say I should end the relationship before starting a new one. NO EASY CHOICE.
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best of luck
Thanks Walley. I am sure each person on this site has their own story to tell. We all get involved in relationships that we expect to last until we die. Of course, living in some of our relationships is worse than death [very bad words]. It is sad for all involved. We all feel/know that we contributed in one way or another to the whole situation. There is a time when we know love is dead. We can try to spark it, but the bad feelings always seem to dampen each effort, plus one of the partner may even try to sabotage your best efforts.