The craft pulls slowly away, riding with the outgoing tide,
waiting for that morning ray, hopeful against apparent odds.
The wind starts up slowly, hair slapping against my cheek.
The gulls floating and dipping, merely a silhouette over the bow

The scream and cries, skree and skrawl. Alight and perch, beady eyes,
head cocked watching me warily, shrieking its call, of encouragement,
or warning. I may never know, the flock begins its descent.
The foulest of fowl cluttering and crowding my deck with eternal squawking

Fighting for position among what appears to be peers.
I gaze and watch in wonder, the fighting and pecking
survival a must, living on, one breath at a time
Shuffling along, the filth and the crust.

Purposefully exhale this weight of despair.
Waiting for the tension to lift, to reveal to me
this great and good plan. Gods mighty decision
for the benefit of man

To be held and loved, trust and respect
abandoned and alone, spite and neglect
The Ocean crashes, my presence insignificant
lost in this labyrinth of utter bewilderment.

My mind as numb as these fingers
clutching the net, cast and release.
Sorrow and regret, familiar feelings now
As I cut up this bait, and alone I wait.

Loneliness is a feeling, a companion to my soul.
No greater addition of joy fills that burnt hole.
Look towards the future, that far horizon of content
always just out of reach.

This watery passing of time for naught.
These years spent.These same waves
may not pass below this craft again
only these same thoughts of despair.

And cast away thoughts of self mutilation
May this surplus of heartache end,
alone and adrift, the fresh air calms.
I question my impulse for death
- may be closer to sane.

What of those questions
unanswered from Gods own mouth.
Fully expecting some unthought reasoning
for me to cast about.