I stand at the entrance to the
ballroom floor like a stallion
set for battle..
My hair has five pounds of tonic
which shines like a glob of oily
slop..
My shoes are shined to a blazing
glow..
My jeans are so tight that civil
law forbids such apparrel in
public..
I smoke a cigar of exotic sent..
James Bond has been hired to carry
my Mc Donalds gift certificates and
wait in the car..
My car drives at speeds only known
by high ranking government officials..
I gaze at the female flock attending
the dance..
All of them pant for my touch..
When I gaze at any one of them with
my cave dwelling eyes they have no
choice but to faint or commit sucicide..
Fortunately all faint..
But then it happens..I venture towards
a female who has strayed from the herd..
She is easy prey..
With my bottom lip plucking at my wine
glass and my teasing tongue dripping
love saliva..I ask her to dance..
She has no choice..she must swoon or die..
I snatch her by the waist and begin to
whirl her around the room like a two dollar
carnival ride..
She is dizzy with the knowledge that she is
dancing with this man beast..
I breathe a sexy word into her ear and she
must either summit or end up in a mental
institution..
All summit..
All other males are confronted with the fact
that they must either leave the dance or spend
the rest of their lives wandering up and down
the interstate highway..
Most choose the highway..
Yet the dance carries long into the night and
as you might have guessed..all the women were
mine..
I leave the dance with a bus load of women..
and we end up partying on the dark side of the
moon..
There can be only one logical explanation for
this state of affairs..
These women have met..The Lady Killer!