You smile and laugh
And all seems well,
Until you wave goodbye,
Shut the door,
And drop the charade.
Your smile dies,
Laughter ceases,
And straight upstairs you sleepwalk,
Your eyes foggy and detattched.
Unconsciously pacing,
Thinking of it all;
Everything you want to let out
But can't.
Things you disagree with
But can't be against it out loud.
The things you feel
But can't be known to others.
They all bounce and collide with each other in your head,
Fighting to be thought about.
Dying to have their conflict resolved,
Or at least talked about.
But you don't,
You can't.
These things are secret.
The pain of them must be hidden,
The screams muffled.
The tears held in.
The feelings bottled up.
All of it is necessary
For people not to question you.
Though secretly,
Deep down at the darkest
Most forgotten parts of your soul,
You might secretly want to let it all out.
To have someone listen,
To have someone care,
To have someone make it better,
Make all your hidden pain go away.
Make all your cuts heal...
But you are the way you are,
People look at you differently
And choose to walk away…