I've ben staring at this blank page for hours thinking of something to write, something happy, something I cant even pretend is true. I have a love and I have a good home. I just have so much pain inside. From what I hear about me to what is going to happen when I hear to much. people take my laugh seriously but when im laughing on the outside im crying in the inside. it hurts so bad to laugh when all I want to do is scream. I guess im so bundled up in myself and my own pain I don't notice one else's. am I selfish? am I the only one focused more on me, but is it bad?