Something Stirring (villanelle)

As night descends, casting darkness
all is silent and so very still
waiting, listening, and breathless

Into the dark of nights coldness
do you feel it, that stone cold chill
as night descends, casting darkness

The cold seeping chilling denseness
it seems to invade , to instill
waiting, listening, and breathless

Something stirring in the blackness
the noises now loud and so shrill
as night descends, casting darkness

Death shows his face full of graveness
in the dark stands waiting to kill
waiting, listening and breathless

Now life seeps away, its painless
just a gasp then it flees noiseless
as night descends, casting darkness
waiting, listening and breathless
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Posted: May 2013

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Comments (13)

Macduff5
Hi Shadow,

The fine tradition of a villanelle being upheld. I prefer the terzanelle variation but you have made a very fine effort here. wine bouquet
Arteeeonline today!
Beautiful and beautiful... A dream poem!.. Breathless.. Perfect!
Well done lady shadow1950 enjoyed!...
rose rose rose rose angel2 angel
shadow1950
ty Rob I haven't tried a terzanelle yet I have to say I do like the discipline of villanelle's well worth the effort ty for nice comments teddybear bouquet hug kiss wine
ladyjewel
blushing have to go look up all these new styles, but i loved the poem as usual makes you think and dream xxxhug hug
shadow1950
hi Arteee and ty very much happy you enjoyed it

if you or anyone is interested in learning other forms
again tnx teddybear bouquet hug kiss wine
Poetnumber1
Oh this is wonderful a poem Linda...well done well done.handshake teddybear hug
CailinCallaghan
Oh, you made me feel this! I need a jacket! All this graven-black-breathlessness has me gasping!

Really enjoyed this! Well done...
shadow1950
hi Dear M.M ty so much I find although hard to write I do love villanelles and me who hated rhyme lol I have to say you are right it does get easier lol again ty dear friend
teddybear bouquet hug kiss wine purple heart angel
shadow1950
hi Cailin gashing is good lol happy it made you feel that way ty for reading
teddybear bouquet hug kiss wine
rapturecapture
Hi Shadow

You are very gifted, and always a joy to read.

Beautiful and haunting loved it..
Thank you for sharinghug angel bouquet wave
shadow1950
hi Martina ty for your lovely comments glad you enjoyed it teddybear bouquet hug kiss wine
john17021984
Hi Linda, I like the erie silence it has atmosphere, I would have added a surprise of a train screaming out of a tunnel like a steam engine being near you in the dead of night the shrill sound could have been it's whistle as it approaches you, it would sound almost ghostly, well maybe you can use it in another of your poems, I don't mind. all the best...John kiss heart beating teddybear
shadow1950
hi John very strict rules to villanelle's be difficult to fit train whistle in ty for the thought though teddybear bouquet hug kiss wine
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