You've been gone for four years come this July,
and it's like you have never left.
I think that's because every time I look in the mirror,
I see you.

Dad, you used to laugh at me,
and say you just wait, John.
When I have passed through the threshold,
I will still be there smiling at you,
every time a reflection crosses your way.

Well Dad, every time I think of you,
I think of all the advice you have given me.
And without all that wisdom,
I don't think I would have been able to bring up all four of my children myself,
without thinking of something you had said to me at one time or another.

I wonder if you read in heaven,
I know I always have this picture of you sitting in the living room.
You with a book up to you in front of the living room window,
and smoking cigarette after cigarette :)
And drinking all your coffee.

Remember all those nights I would come over to watch TV with you,
and we would keep each other company
as Mom was sleeping and Dayna was sleeping,
as she had to get up earlier for work than me?

You and those John Wayne movies, and Clint Eastwood.
Oh yeah, and I really liked romance movies much better.
But since you were such a John Wayne fan,
I never spoke of other movies that I liked :)

Well, when you had alzheimers,
I knew it as the laughing and jumping at your favorite scenes seemed to stop,
and your answers were like you were alone.
But, Dad, I was always there for you,
even when you didn't think I was.

Mom will be there pretty soon,
so you better straighten up if you're not :)
Yes Dad, I'm an ordained minister now.
I know that you didn't believe in God,
but a great creator of everything,
but I know you would be proud.


Love,
Your son, John


PS: I still will pay you back that last payment on the Bradley GT...just have some patience :) Hahaha