Letters

Dark tresses brush the sill, slightly,
Face tilted, tantalisingly, toward the street.
Always this pensive position, hands held tightly
Shoulders hunched,eyes wide, dress neat.

A black bicycle, the humm-click of chain,
Emerges to exist under a soft, street lamps, light.
Shapes, indistinct, call gently through soft rain,
A delicate sonance, as day disperses night.

The oil lamp, on the bed stand, glows,
Casting silent shadows in a single room.
An antique rocking chair, restfull in repose,
Forget-me-not's, on the mantle, in full bloom.

An opened, re-read letter, on an un-slept-in bed,
'We are sorry to inform you'...
She glances at it, eyes quiet,
nothing to be said.

The window swings quietly shut, closed to the day.
Breaking the rocking chairs recline, she sits, un-feeling.
And with tired eyes watches the flickering lamp light play,
a silent symphony, across their one room's ceiling.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Posted: Jan 2010
About this poem:
O.K so this is my first poetry post and i'm not sure what to expect from it so any feedback or criticism would be great.

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Comments (5)

sharina
thats a lovely poem... thumbs up thumbs up
trurorob
Made me think of the first world war, another soldier not coming home from the Somme! had good emotional wording
rob
darren_
Thanks guys :) Really nice to get a bit of feedback.
jazzy75
darren - nice imagery and emotions expressed...i enjoyed reading :)
Skybow
Wow this poem rocks and it rolls. I have been exposed to some really good poetry and this ranks right up with the best. What a grand style you have, a great story line and wonderful poetic tone. Would you be interested in checking out a really good poetry site I know of. If so I will send you there quite proudly and count you as friend if I may.

The only thing I think would improve this is to remove as much punctuation as you can to keep the reader from stopping too much, keep them flowing through to the end without pauses.

Bravo. applause applause applause

(I hope you don't mind my comment but this is so good I just had to)
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by Unknown
on Jan 2010
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Last Viewed: Apr 5
Last Commented: Jan 2010

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