I awake with demons inside my head whispering of how I'd be better off dead. They stir feelings hidden for many years. Once again I am buried in an ocean of my own tears. Another sad holiday is what I dread. Life's too short is what they said. Not short enough for me. I look back only to find illness and misery.

Sweet sister miss her. She is whom I long to touch. To hear her laughter through out the day as her blonde curls the wind tosses while we play and sway.

My loving sister lives in a better place. Yet I never stop seeing her innocent baby face. If only I could have taken her place. Seems like the holidays get more lonely during the passing years. I pretend to be strong while holding back my tears.

Some days the pain is almost too much to take. Losing her must have been a mistake. Oh, I pray to one day stop the heartache.