Do you believe a long-distance relationship could lead to marriage? (153)
SPS0913: thats how i felt. i was deceived beyond belief.
I'm sorry for your trouble.
At what point did it become obvious to you that you were bing deceived?
jac379: Some people can be in a relationship, married for half their life and not realise they're being deceived. I'm not sure the internet is so very different from the "real" world.
You're absolutely right Jac; this has happened to me too but I believe it happens more often in the virtual world because it's easy for peeps to hide things when behind a computer screen. Couple that with distance and you've got yourself the perfect medium for deception
SPS0913: see my thread for some clues as to whether someone is not being honest.
I read through and found some useful tips. Someone who is deceitful may do any of the following:
1. Disguise him/herself in their profile photo so no one (spouse, friends or coworkers) will recognize them.
2. Don't seem to want to share certain contact information.
3. Can't be reached between certain hours and don't seem to have a very good excuse (not part of the work day or a school function.)
4. Can only meet at rather odd locations at certain times.
Sorry to analyze, but this is good stuff!
presuming_m: Once again you are spot-on, Jac. I was married for 20 years and found that I had never really known him at all. We can none of us ever be 100% sure...that is why we have to be careful, protect ourselves, and of course...keep our children out of it until we have a better understanding of as much of the situation as possible.
A happy, healthy relationship is reliant upon trust. Trust and love are very linked and interactive in my opinion.
Deception is only never a hazard if we isolate ourselves.
Deception takes many forms, its not just about fidelity. It can be damned tricky to cover all possibilities.
Had 2 of them, none worked. The 1st one was through CS but she was a whacked out liar in the end.
The 2nd one ended yesterday for me...just didn't work....
Takes A LOT of determination to make it work. I say give it a try...you never know.
The 2nd one ended yesterday for me...just didn't work....
Takes A LOT of determination to make it work. I say give it a try...you never know.
Dan_The_Man: I believe that if you find true love from afar, then distance is irrelevant as it provides even more time and allure to truly get to know the person.
lol :-))) yes i put a very big hope on this prospect " long distance relationship leading to marriage lol :-)))
mbcasey: Had 2 of them, none worked. The 1st one was through CS but she was a whacked out liar in the end.
The 2nd one ended yesterday for me...just didn't work....
Takes A LOT of determination to make it work. I say give it a try...you never know.
The 2nd one ended yesterday for me...just didn't work....
Takes A LOT of determination to make it work. I say give it a try...you never know.
i sure do hope so! otherwise what is the point of having internet dating?
we might as well just lookup the local matrimonials!
the fun is to know that there are people out there who are different from you but still good human beings.
we might as well just lookup the local matrimonials!
the fun is to know that there are people out there who are different from you but still good human beings.
dan_barry64: i sure do hope so! otherwise what is the point of having internet dating?
we might as well just lookup the local matrimonials!
the fun is to know that there are people out there who are different from you but still good human beings.
we might as well just lookup the local matrimonials!
the fun is to know that there are people out there who are different from you but still good human beings.
I agree totally with you.
dan_barry64: i sure do hope so! otherwise what is the point of having internet dating?
we might as well just lookup the local matrimonials!
the fun is to know that there are people out there who are different from you but still good human beings.
we might as well just lookup the local matrimonials!
the fun is to know that there are people out there who are different from you but still good human beings.
I totally agree! And if I found that special someone a world-away, I would respect her by stopping the dating process until we meet.
Dan_The_Man: I totally agree! And if I found that special someone a world-away, I would respect her by stopping the dating process until we meet.
WTG!!
Us ladies need more men like you Dan_The_Man: I totally agree! And if I found that special someone a world-away, I would respect her by stopping the dating process until we meet.
I am in the process of testing it, not leading to marriage but togetherness perhaps being together in long term. Having long distance relationship is truly hard and difficult however it takes two to tango. There is solution somewhere, somehow, something when two people agree on working hard to make it happen and involve one important word "positive"!
Dan_The_Man: Good advice. I could imagine that it would be harder if you have children. I also understand it can be hard to determine how sincere or truthful the other person is.Are there any signals that anyone has found to let you know whether or not someone is truly being honest?
Yes, yes
equiya: Yes, yes
I am very fortunate that many women do tell me their intentions early and "don't want to hurt me". I have found that if I am totally honest, straightforward and respectful when talking to a woman, then they will respect me and let me know whether or not they would be capable of having a relationship with me. It is hard though when it seems like I get along with them so great, but you don't always know their life situation that they wouldn't want to pull you into.
To all of those women, thanks
equiya: Yes, yes
I agree with you. but a sweet girl like you does not need to risk long distance. you can find your soulmate nearbye your place. good luck
Mysticalli: I agree totally with you.
in this day and age of economic problems, with so many scammers . it is not worse spending a lot of money to fly across the globe to see someone you don't even know
Sure its possible to find your soulmate on the other side of the world.
But frankly, it's the last place you should look.
But frankly, it's the last place you should look.
cloud747: in this day and age of economic problems, with so many scammers . it is not worse spending a lot of money to fly across the globe to see someone you don't even know
you´re right. But I would spend it.
presuming_m: Exactly. But I understand what it feels like to think that the local options are...hopeless.
I´m in the same boat as you
I know the feeling as I have exhausted the options locally. In my area, too many women are negative and live in the past (huge turn-off.) I always look forward to the future and love to fulfill my dreams and ambitions.
Life's just too short to dwell on the past, it's only there to have learned from ... not live in.
Life's just too short to dwell on the past, it's only there to have learned from ... not live in.
Dan_The_Man: I know the feeling as I have exhausted the options locally. In my area, too many women are negative and live in the past (huge turn-off.) I always look forward to the future and love to fulfill my dreams and ambitions.
Life's just too short to dwell on the past, it's only there to have learned from ... not live in.
Life's just too short to dwell on the past, it's only there to have learned from ... not live in.
Exactly. When they spend the entire first meeting telling you what was wrong with their ex, you know there is a problem. Sometimes I want to yell...LET IT GO!!!
Dan_The_Man: I believe that if you find true love from afar, then distance is irrelevant as it provides even more time and allure to truly get to know the person.
Yes it's possible and i will do it by the end of next year.presuming_m: Exactly. When they spend the entire first meeting telling you what was wrong with their ex, you know there is a problem. Sometimes I want to yell...LET IT GO!!!
Thank you! I'm glad you think the same. Now if only we could get those people to listen to their own minds before they speak and adjust their behaviors a little ... the world would be a much better place!
presuming_m: Exactly. When they spend the entire first meeting telling you what was wrong with their ex, you know there is a problem. Sometimes I want to yell...LET IT GO!!!
I should consider myself lucky cause I never passed through that. That would be the hugest turn off for me. If the guy began to talk about his ex at the 1st meeting, he would lose me in a blink.
let the past in the past.
Dan_The_Man: Thank you! I'm glad you think the same. Now if only we could get those people to listen to their own minds before they speak and adjust their behaviors a little ... the world would be a much better place!
Well, it ALWAYS takes two people to screw up a relationship. If all you want to do is talk about what the other person did wrong, you obviously have not given much thought to what you did wrong...and that means you are doomed to repeat your mistakes. That makes me want to RUN!!!
2intrigued: It can work and it has worked for a few but some have been emotional and financial disasters...it's risky and if you're willing to take the risk, more power to ya imho
Thanks
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Once again you are spot-on, Jac. I was married for 20 years and found that I had never really known him at all. We can none of us ever be 100% sure...that is why we have to be careful, protect ourselves, and of course...keep our children out of it until we have a better understanding of as much of the situation as possible.