Do you believe a long-distance relationship could lead to marriage? (153)

Dec 25, 2011 9:18 PM CST Do you believe a long-distance relationship could lead to marriage?
presuming_m
presuming_mpresuming_mHaslett, Michigan USA2 Threads 1 Polls 111 Posts
jac379: Some people can be in a relationship, married for half their life and not realise they're being deceived. I'm not sure the internet is so very different from the "real" world.


Once again you are spot-on, Jac. I was married for 20 years and found that I had never really known him at all. We can none of us ever be 100% sure...that is why we have to be careful, protect ourselves, and of course...keep our children out of it until we have a better understanding of as much of the situation as possible.
Dec 25, 2011 9:20 PM CST Do you believe a long-distance relationship could lead to marriage?
jac379
jac379jac379pontyclun, South Glamorgan, Wales UK25 Threads 3 Polls 12,293 Posts
SPS0913: thats how i felt. i was deceived beyond belief.


I'm sorry for your trouble.

At what point did it become obvious to you that you were bing deceived?
Dec 25, 2011 9:22 PM CST Do you believe a long-distance relationship could lead to marriage?
2intrigued
2intrigued2intriguedMississauga, Ontario Canada11 Threads 18,576 Posts
jac379: Some people can be in a relationship, married for half their life and not realise they're being deceived. I'm not sure the internet is so very different from the "real" world.


You're absolutely right Jac; this has happened to me too but I believe it happens more often in the virtual world because it's easy for peeps to hide things when behind a computer screen. Couple that with distance and you've got yourself the perfect medium for deception wine
Dec 25, 2011 9:28 PM CST Do you believe a long-distance relationship could lead to marriage?
Dan_The_Man
Dan_The_ManDan_The_ManWestlake, Ohio USA2 Threads 2 Polls 23 Posts
SPS0913: see my thread for some clues as to whether someone is not being honest.



I read through and found some useful tips. Someone who is deceitful may do any of the following:

1. Disguise him/herself in their profile photo so no one (spouse, friends or coworkers) will recognize them.
2. Don't seem to want to share certain contact information.
3. Can't be reached between certain hours and don't seem to have a very good excuse (not part of the work day or a school function.)
4. Can only meet at rather odd locations at certain times.

Sorry to analyze, but this is good stuff!
Dec 25, 2011 9:29 PM CST Do you believe a long-distance relationship could lead to marriage?
jac379
jac379jac379pontyclun, South Glamorgan, Wales UK25 Threads 3 Polls 12,293 Posts
presuming_m: Once again you are spot-on, Jac. I was married for 20 years and found that I had never really known him at all. We can none of us ever be 100% sure...that is why we have to be careful, protect ourselves, and of course...keep our children out of it until we have a better understanding of as much of the situation as possible.


A happy, healthy relationship is reliant upon trust. Trust and love are very linked and interactive in my opinion.

Deception is only never a hazard if we isolate ourselves.

Deception takes many forms, its not just about fidelity. It can be damned tricky to cover all possibilities. laugh
Dec 25, 2011 10:09 PM CST Do you believe a long-distance relationship could lead to marriage?
mbcasey
mbcaseymbcaseyNorth Myrtle Beach, South Carolina USA68 Threads 7 Polls 16,449 Posts
Had 2 of them, none worked. The 1st one was through CS but she was a whacked out liar in the end.

The 2nd one ended yesterday for me...just didn't work....

Takes A LOT of determination to make it work. I say give it a try...you never know.
Dec 25, 2011 10:31 PM CST Do you believe a long-distance relationship could lead to marriage?
Sister28
Sister28Sister28phnompenh, Cambodia1 Threads 436 Posts
Dan_The_Man: I believe that if you find true love from afar, then distance is irrelevant as it provides even more time and allure to truly get to know the person.


lol :-))) yes i put a very big hope on this prospect " long distance relationship leading to marriage lol :-))) tongue grin
Dec 25, 2011 10:42 PM CST Do you believe a long-distance relationship could lead to marriage?
Sister28
Sister28Sister28phnompenh, Cambodia1 Threads 436 Posts
mbcasey: Had 2 of them, none worked. The 1st one was through CS but she was a whacked out liar in the end.

The 2nd one ended yesterday for me...just didn't work....

Takes A LOT of determination to make it work. I say give it a try...you never know.


grin comfort hug teddybear
Dec 25, 2011 10:50 PM CST Do you believe a long-distance relationship could lead to marriage?
dan_barry64
dan_barry64dan_barry64lucknow, Uttar Pradesh India10 Threads 199 Posts
i sure do hope so! otherwise what is the point of having internet dating?
we might as well just lookup the local matrimonials!
the fun is to know that there are people out there who are different from you but still good human beings.
Dec 26, 2011 9:32 AM CST Do you believe a long-distance relationship could lead to marriage?
Mysticalli
MysticalliMysticalliTeresina, Piaui Brazil6 Threads 5 Polls 1,303 Posts
dan_barry64: i sure do hope so! otherwise what is the point of having internet dating?
we might as well just lookup the local matrimonials!
the fun is to know that there are people out there who are different from you but still good human beings.


I agree totally with you. thumbs up
Dec 26, 2011 9:45 AM CST Do you believe a long-distance relationship could lead to marriage?
Dan_The_Man
Dan_The_ManDan_The_ManWestlake, Ohio USA2 Threads 2 Polls 23 Posts
dan_barry64: i sure do hope so! otherwise what is the point of having internet dating?
we might as well just lookup the local matrimonials!
the fun is to know that there are people out there who are different from you but still good human beings.


I totally agree! And if I found that special someone a world-away, I would respect her by stopping the dating process until we meet.
Dec 26, 2011 9:47 AM CST Do you believe a long-distance relationship could lead to marriage?
2intrigued
2intrigued2intriguedMississauga, Ontario Canada11 Threads 18,576 Posts
Dan_The_Man: I totally agree! And if I found that special someone a world-away, I would respect her by stopping the dating process until we meet.


WTG!!thumbs up Us ladies need more men like you wine
Dec 26, 2011 9:51 AM CST Do you believe a long-distance relationship could lead to marriage?
chocolateflavour
chocolateflavourchocolateflavourAntwerp, Antwerpen Belgium27 Threads 13 Polls 155 Posts
Dan_The_Man: I totally agree! And if I found that special someone a world-away, I would respect her by stopping the dating process until we meet.


I am in the process of testing it, not leading to marriage but togetherness perhaps being together in long term. Having long distance relationship is truly hard and difficult however it takes two to tango. There is solution somewhere, somehow, something when two people agree on working hard to make it happen and involve one important word "positive"!
Dec 26, 2011 9:53 AM CST Do you believe a long-distance relationship could lead to marriage?
equiya
equiyaequiyaunknown, Ontario Canada2 Threads 4,055 Posts
Dan_The_Man: Good advice. I could imagine that it would be harder if you have children. I also understand it can be hard to determine how sincere or truthful the other person is.Are there any signals that anyone has found to let you know whether or not someone is truly being honest?


Yes, yes
Dec 26, 2011 10:15 AM CST Do you believe a long-distance relationship could lead to marriage?
Dan_The_Man
Dan_The_ManDan_The_ManWestlake, Ohio USA2 Threads 2 Polls 23 Posts
equiya: Yes, yes


I am very fortunate that many women do tell me their intentions early and "don't want to hurt me". I have found that if I am totally honest, straightforward and respectful when talking to a woman, then they will respect me and let me know whether or not they would be capable of having a relationship with me. It is hard though when it seems like I get along with them so great, but you don't always know their life situation that they wouldn't want to pull you into.

To all of those women, thanks wine
Dec 26, 2011 10:20 AM CST Do you believe a long-distance relationship could lead to marriage?
cloud747
cloud747cloud747winnipeg, Manitoba Canada130 Threads 27 Polls 2,947 Posts
equiya: Yes, yes


I agree with you. but a sweet girl like you does not need to risk long distance. you can find your soulmate nearbye your place. good luckbeer
Dec 26, 2011 10:26 AM CST Do you believe a long-distance relationship could lead to marriage?
cloud747
cloud747cloud747winnipeg, Manitoba Canada130 Threads 27 Polls 2,947 Posts
Mysticalli: I agree totally with you.


in this day and age of economic problems, with so many scammers . it is not worse spending a lot of money to fly across the globe to see someone you don't even know
Dec 26, 2011 10:43 AM CST Do you believe a long-distance relationship could lead to marriage?
RayfromUSA
RayfromUSARayfromUSAvienne, Rhone-Alpes France86 Threads 29 Polls 6,611 Posts
Sure its possible to find your soulmate on the other side of the world.

But frankly, it's the last place you should look.
Dec 26, 2011 10:52 AM CST Do you believe a long-distance relationship could lead to marriage?
presuming_m
presuming_mpresuming_mHaslett, Michigan USA2 Threads 1 Polls 111 Posts
RayfromUSA: Sure its possible to find your soulmate on the other side of the world.

But frankly, it's the last place you should look.


Exactly. But I understand what it feels like to think that the local options are...hopeless. sigh
Dec 26, 2011 10:57 AM CST Do you believe a long-distance relationship could lead to marriage?
Mysticalli
MysticalliMysticalliTeresina, Piaui Brazil6 Threads 5 Polls 1,303 Posts
cloud747: in this day and age of economic problems, with so many scammers . it is not worse spending a lot of money to fly across the globe to see someone you don't even know


you´re right. But I would spend it.
Dec 26, 2011 10:58 AM CST Do you believe a long-distance relationship could lead to marriage?
Mysticalli
MysticalliMysticalliTeresina, Piaui Brazil6 Threads 5 Polls 1,303 Posts
presuming_m: Exactly. But I understand what it feels like to think that the local options are...hopeless.


I´m in the same boat as you handshake
Dec 26, 2011 11:03 AM CST Do you believe a long-distance relationship could lead to marriage?
Dan_The_Man
Dan_The_ManDan_The_ManWestlake, Ohio USA2 Threads 2 Polls 23 Posts
I know the feeling as I have exhausted the options locally. In my area, too many women are negative and live in the past (huge turn-off.) I always look forward to the future and love to fulfill my dreams and ambitions.

Life's just too short to dwell on the past, it's only there to have learned from ... not live in.
Dec 26, 2011 11:04 AM CST Do you believe a long-distance relationship could lead to marriage?
presuming_m
presuming_mpresuming_mHaslett, Michigan USA2 Threads 1 Polls 111 Posts
Dan_The_Man: I know the feeling as I have exhausted the options locally. In my area, too many women are negative and live in the past (huge turn-off.) I always look forward to the future and love to fulfill my dreams and ambitions.

Life's just too short to dwell on the past, it's only there to have learned from ... not live in.


Exactly. When they spend the entire first meeting telling you what was wrong with their ex, you know there is a problem. Sometimes I want to yell...LET IT GO!!!
Dec 26, 2011 11:08 AM CST Do you believe a long-distance relationship could lead to marriage?
Boy67
Boy67Boy67Cyprus, Limassol Cyprus379 Posts
Dan_The_Man: I believe that if you find true love from afar, then distance is irrelevant as it provides even more time and allure to truly get to know the person.
Yes it's possible and i will do it by the end of next year.
Dec 26, 2011 11:10 AM CST Do you believe a long-distance relationship could lead to marriage?
Dan_The_Man
Dan_The_ManDan_The_ManWestlake, Ohio USA2 Threads 2 Polls 23 Posts
presuming_m: Exactly. When they spend the entire first meeting telling you what was wrong with their ex, you know there is a problem. Sometimes I want to yell...LET IT GO!!!


Thank you! I'm glad you think the same. Now if only we could get those people to listen to their own minds before they speak and adjust their behaviors a little ... the world would be a much better place!
Dec 26, 2011 11:12 AM CST Do you believe a long-distance relationship could lead to marriage?
Dan_The_Man
Dan_The_ManDan_The_ManWestlake, Ohio USA2 Threads 2 Polls 23 Posts
Boy67: Yes it's possible and i will do it by the end of next year.


Congratulations! wine
Dec 26, 2011 11:13 AM CST Do you believe a long-distance relationship could lead to marriage?
Mysticalli
MysticalliMysticalliTeresina, Piaui Brazil6 Threads 5 Polls 1,303 Posts
presuming_m: Exactly. When they spend the entire first meeting telling you what was wrong with their ex, you know there is a problem. Sometimes I want to yell...LET IT GO!!!


I should consider myself lucky cause I never passed through that. That would be the hugest turn off for me. If the guy began to talk about his ex at the 1st meeting, he would lose me in a blink. laugh

let the past in the past.
Dec 26, 2011 11:13 AM CST Do you believe a long-distance relationship could lead to marriage?
presuming_m
presuming_mpresuming_mHaslett, Michigan USA2 Threads 1 Polls 111 Posts
Dan_The_Man: Thank you! I'm glad you think the same. Now if only we could get those people to listen to their own minds before they speak and adjust their behaviors a little ... the world would be a much better place!


Well, it ALWAYS takes two people to screw up a relationship. If all you want to do is talk about what the other person did wrong, you obviously have not given much thought to what you did wrong...and that means you are doomed to repeat your mistakes. That makes me want to RUN!!!
Dec 26, 2011 11:14 AM CST Do you believe a long-distance relationship could lead to marriage?
FreddyFudpucker
FreddyFudpuckerFreddyFudpuckerObamaville, Indiana USA10,179 Posts
2intrigued: It can work and it has worked for a few but some have been emotional and financial disasters...it's risky and if you're willing to take the risk, more power to ya imho
thumbs up
Dec 26, 2011 11:16 AM CST Do you believe a long-distance relationship could lead to marriage?
Boy67
Boy67Boy67Cyprus, Limassol Cyprus379 Posts
Thanks
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