What prevents you from living the life you truly desire? (78)
TaureanmaleRoscommon, Ireland86 Threads 5 Polls 1,672 PostsJust added my tuppence worth to your poll...and I see I m a member of the majority ....oh and welcome back you! 
there4u80: Well started a new relationship before Christmas so that's going well, i play guitar, it tried, oh how i tried so so so very hard to get good enough to be a superstar but i now know, without doubt, that its something you are simply born with or without, yes anybody can learn to play guitar but only a lucky few have natural talent, the xfactor if you will, i aint half bad but no, will never be as good or even half as good as my idol, Mr. Saul Hudson, A.K.A. slash
Are you a life coach seeking new students? You look very professional looking.
Are you a life coach seeking new students? You look very professional looking.
I'll take the professional comment as a compliment
I AM the student for the moment. Just looking for some insight. It's interesting to note the different (and also similar) reasons for procrastination and self-sabotage. Fair play to you for learning an instrument; I'd never have the patience! Hope the relationship goes well.
Taureanmale: Just added my tuppence worth to your poll...and I see I m a member of the majority ....oh and welcome back you!
Thanks TM!!
How does it feel to be part of the "in" crowd?
Laralou: I'll take the professional comment as a compliment I AM the student for the moment. Just looking for some insight. It's interesting to note the different (and also similar) reasons for procrastination and self-sabotage. Fair play to you for learning an instrument; I'd never have the patience! Hope the relationship goes well.
It was indeed a compliment.
You only think that, i guess it depends on how much you want to learn it.
Cheers.
Good luck with the learning experience and your poll data
mjpd67: ah i know that but like a lot of men on here who wont admit it im probably still lost and lonely deep down ,but have started doing new stuff and hoping to travel abroad shortly
No body is perfect I see myself as gar in the play Philadelphia here l come , the good thing is I know my weaknesses but I work on them , I know im the salt of the earth and I will find the balance that im looking for and will be mature enough to give a relationship with a woman a good try.So basically im not going to run anymore fear of being loved by a womanFraya: I had a think about that and considered how I would feel now if I hadn't taken a particular chance a some years back. In the same position now at the age I am I'd definately do it again.
In answer to Laralou's question I believe fear is a big obstacle, fear of the unknown, rejection, looking foolish, getting it wrong etc.
In answer to Laralou's question I believe fear is a big obstacle, fear of the unknown, rejection, looking foolish, getting it wrong etc.
Good point. Fear of humiliation affects us much more than most other fears. Fear of speaking in public ranks higher than a fear of dying! I remember there was a famous study years ago where a majority of participants admitted they would rather go to jail for a wrong-doing than stand on a busy street wearing a sandwich board announcing it to the world.
there4u80: It was indeed a compliment.
You only think that, i guess it depends on how much you want to learn it.
Cheers.
Good luck with the learning experience and your poll data
You only think that, i guess it depends on how much you want to learn it.
Cheers.
Good luck with the learning experience and your poll data
Very true! Thanks!
I hope you don't mind a foreigner replying, but this is an excellent thread and research topic.
In my case, different fears operate in different aspects of my life. In respect of career then fear of failure together with fear of success are present, although I do normally go ahead with the new challenge nevertheless.
When it comes to my personal life, definitely fear of rejection comes to the fore as well the fear of trusting completely. And in this particular area of my life, I'm still struggling to overcome these fears.
Good luck with your research!
In my case, different fears operate in different aspects of my life. In respect of career then fear of failure together with fear of success are present, although I do normally go ahead with the new challenge nevertheless.
When it comes to my personal life, definitely fear of rejection comes to the fore as well the fear of trusting completely. And in this particular area of my life, I'm still struggling to overcome these fears.
Good luck with your research!
Laralou: Thanks TM!! How does it feel to be part of the "in" crowd?
Seems I've finally joined the clique
....seriously though I didn't think it was that prevalent ...like I know the country is down the swanny but thats one hell of a lead for that category ..at least when I postedLadyDiz2: I hope you don't mind a foreigner replying, but this is an excellent thread and research topic.
In my case, different fears operate in different aspects of my life. In respect of career then fear of failure together with fear of success are present, although I do normally go ahead with the new challenge nevertheless.
When it comes to my personal life, definitely fear of rejection comes to the fore as well the fear of trusting completely. And in this particular area of my life, I'm still struggling to overcome these fears.
Good luck with your research!
nothing to fear but fear itselfIn my case, different fears operate in different aspects of my life. In respect of career then fear of failure together with fear of success are present, although I do normally go ahead with the new challenge nevertheless.
When it comes to my personal life, definitely fear of rejection comes to the fore as well the fear of trusting completely. And in this particular area of my life, I'm still struggling to overcome these fears.
Good luck with your research!
Laralou: Good point. Fear of humiliation affects us much more than most other fears. Fear of speaking in public ranks higher than a fear of dying! I remember there was a famous study years ago where a majority of participants admitted they would rather go to jail for a wrong-doing than stand on a busy street wearing a sandwich board announcing it to the world.
Public speaking is required of me through work from time to time. It dosn't get easier either. I still shake, mouth goes dry and coherant thoughts leave the building
I have an artist friend who has a wife and kids. He wants to build his own living and painting space on the grounds of his home. He sees this as being of massive benefit to him and his family. His wife objects strongly because of what the neighbours and family might say. So, commitments can prevent a life desired.
To be honest I could have picked two or three answers there.
Sometimes it's a combination of things that keep us from trying.
Sometimes it's a combination of things that keep us from trying.
Fraya: Public speaking is required of me through work from time to time. It dosn't get easier either. I still shake, mouth goes dry and coherant thoughts leave the building
I have an artist friend who has a wife and kids. He wants to build his own living and painting space on the grounds of his home. He sees this as being of massive benefit to him and his family. His wife objects strongly because of what the neighbours and family might say. So, commitments can prevent a life desired.
Sad thing is it doesn't get easier speaking in public. I suffer with the dry mouth but when speaking in public I pick spots over people heads they actually think im looking at them, these are the tricks of the trade I learned from my acting days on stage. I basically practice breathing techniques and sip water before going into a room with a group of people.I have an artist friend who has a wife and kids. He wants to build his own living and painting space on the grounds of his home. He sees this as being of massive benefit to him and his family. His wife objects strongly because of what the neighbours and family might say. So, commitments can prevent a life desired.
anniebaby: To be honest I could have picked two or three answers there.
Sometimes it's a combination of things that keep us from trying.
Sometimes it's a combination of things that keep us from trying.
I agree and also the commitment option is throwing me. I can commit to a task easier than I can commit to a person
way to promote myself on a dating site I put family responsibilities
I have lived away from Ireland for over 10 years, only came home for family reasons. If I could I would pack a bag and be be gone. I've lived in various places over the last 20 years. All the other options, fear of failure, rejection, fear of success, lack of courage, lack of money, lack of self esteem, self confidence have never been an issue for me. I've always been in low paying jobs, and have previously just arrived in a city with a suitcase, not knowing anyone and made a life for myself.
I just don't understand why people say money stops them from doing things. If you want something badly enough, you will find the money somehow, even if like me you are on minimum wage.
I have lived away from Ireland for over 10 years, only came home for family reasons. If I could I would pack a bag and be be gone. I've lived in various places over the last 20 years. All the other options, fear of failure, rejection, fear of success, lack of courage, lack of money, lack of self esteem, self confidence have never been an issue for me. I've always been in low paying jobs, and have previously just arrived in a city with a suitcase, not knowing anyone and made a life for myself.
I just don't understand why people say money stops them from doing things. If you want something badly enough, you will find the money somehow, even if like me you are on minimum wage.
Fraya: I agree and also the commitment option is throwing me. I can commit to a task easier than I can commit to a person way to promote myself on a dating site
It takes a lot to let a person in and then commit to them in any way.
Things happen which shape how we view commitment be it in a personal way or not.
Hi, great to see you.
For me it would be a combination of a couple of the options. Financial has been one at times, fear of failure another. A big one for me is also fear of letting my family down.
For me it would be a combination of a couple of the options. Financial has been one at times, fear of failure another. A big one for me is also fear of letting my family down.
jamiethekid: Sad thing is it doesn't get easier speaking in public. I suffer with the dry mouth but when speaking in public I pick spots over people heads they actually think im looking at them, these are the tricks of the trade I learned from my acting days on stage. I basically practice breathing techniques and sip water before going into a room with a group of people.
Thanks for the tips Jamie. The solution I believe is to start mumbling and slurring so I won't be asked all the time
Fraya: Thanks for the tips Jamie. The solution I believe is to start mumbling and slurring so I won't be asked all the time
Hi Fraya
My professional life involves public speaking almost constantly, sometimes before small groups at others before a couple of thousand people. It never gets easy. The trick is to prepare beforehand, think of what questions may be asked and prepare for those to. Also, to speak slowly. It gives you time to think. Prepared notes also helps. And my personal favourite is to keep in mind that the reason you're speaking is because you know more about the topic than those you are speaking before.
Laralou: Hi all!
Haven't been on here in a long time but still recognise some familiar lurkers faces! ;-)
Doing a course at the moment where I have to research/study modern-day fears/stressors leading to procrastination and/or self-sabotage. These fears may be self-imposed or inflicted upon us by society, family, friends ,peers etc...
I would be grateful if you would choose which of the ten options you feel has had the most bearing on your life; preventing you from living the life you would like to create for yourself.
Feel free to leave comments below, or PM me if you would like to expand on your choice in private. I promise that nothing shared in confidence will be made public here or elsewhere. Many thanks in advance...
hey stranger hows you Haven't been on here in a long time but still recognise some familiar lurkers faces! ;-)
Doing a course at the moment where I have to research/study modern-day fears/stressors leading to procrastination and/or self-sabotage. These fears may be self-imposed or inflicted upon us by society, family, friends ,peers etc...
I would be grateful if you would choose which of the ten options you feel has had the most bearing on your life; preventing you from living the life you would like to create for yourself.
Feel free to leave comments below, or PM me if you would like to expand on your choice in private. I promise that nothing shared in confidence will be made public here or elsewhere. Many thanks in advance...
none of the 10 options apply as for me its mosty my health thats holding me back at the moment
baldydude: hey stranger hows you
none of the 10 options apply as for me its mosty my health thats holding me back at the moment
none of the 10 options apply as for me its mosty my health thats holding me back at the moment
Hey BD!!
Yeah I've had some health concerns over the past couple of years. Nothing serious thank God but frustrating all the same. Wishing you health & happiness LadyDiz2: Hi Fraya
My professional life involves public speaking almost constantly, sometimes before small groups at others before a couple of thousand people. It never gets easy. The trick is to prepare beforehand, think of what questions may be asked and prepare for those to. Also, to speak slowly. It gives you time to think. Prepared notes also helps. And my personal favourite is to keep in mind that the reason you're speaking is because you know more about the topic than those you are speaking before.
lt doesn't really matter how prepared you are the dry mouth will still exist before a public meeting im sure you have your remedies before you enter the room.l know a guy who breathes through a brown paper bag to relax himself. But yeah you are right always have your homework down you're 3/4 over the hurdleMy professional life involves public speaking almost constantly, sometimes before small groups at others before a couple of thousand people. It never gets easy. The trick is to prepare beforehand, think of what questions may be asked and prepare for those to. Also, to speak slowly. It gives you time to think. Prepared notes also helps. And my personal favourite is to keep in mind that the reason you're speaking is because you know more about the topic than those you are speaking before.
Fraya: I dont't doubt the nerves are the same with acting on stage and public speaking. Performing as in being another character, might make it easier in that you are essentially someone else? Maybe I'm wrong there.
Anyway Jamie, lets not currupt the thread. There was some "giving out" about that earlier.
Anyway Jamie, lets not currupt the thread. There was some "giving out" about that earlier.
Corrupt even
An interesting thread, and interesting poll result with the highest poll on financial constraints.It this a sociology course your doing?
Fraya: I dont't doubt the nerves are the same with acting on stage and public speaking. Performing as in being another character, might make it easier in that you are essentially someone else? Maybe I'm wrong there.
Anyway Jamie, lets not currupt the thread. There was some "giving out" about that earlier.
Anyway Jamie, lets not currupt the thread. There was some "giving out" about that earlier.
All intelligent, well-meaning comments are welcome but thanks for respecting the thread!
Fraya: I dont't doubt the nerves are the same with acting on stage and public speaking. Performing as in being another character, might make it easier in that you are essentially someone else? Maybe I'm wrong there.
Anyway Jamie, lets not currupt the thread. There was some "giving out" about that earlier.
You're right I just wanted to pass on my wisdom earlier on fear .ls that the time im out of here time for the bright lights Guinness time bye nowAnyway Jamie, lets not currupt the thread. There was some "giving out" about that earlier.
LadyDiz2: Hi Fraya
My professional life involves public speaking almost constantly, sometimes before small groups at others before a couple of thousand people. It never gets easy. The trick is to prepare beforehand, think of what questions may be asked and prepare for those to. Also, to speak slowly. It gives you time to think. Prepared notes also helps. And my personal favourite is to keep in mind that the reason you're speaking is because you know more about the topic than those you are speaking before.
My professional life involves public speaking almost constantly, sometimes before small groups at others before a couple of thousand people. It never gets easy. The trick is to prepare beforehand, think of what questions may be asked and prepare for those to. Also, to speak slowly. It gives you time to think. Prepared notes also helps. And my personal favourite is to keep in mind that the reason you're speaking is because you know more about the topic than those you are speaking before.
Thank you for that LadyDiz. I find smaller groups harder than large ones.
I don't alway know more than those I speak to. modermen: An interesting thread, and interesting poll result with the highest poll on financial constraints.It this a sociology course your doing?
Thanks MM. Hard to explain the course in a few words. Coaching, emotional intelligence, sociology & mind/body connection all rolled into one is the best way I can put it. My aim is to eventually help people get from where they are to where they want to be with a healing element thrown in for good measure.
And learning a bit about yourself along the way.
Fraya: And learning a bit about yourself along the way.
Learning loads about myself. That's the most interesting part. Self-centered but true!
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