I think it's all an illusion as head and heart are one, and whenever there are differences of opinion between the two it creates internal conflict. Also when there is such conflict going on it's because there's an error somewhere along the way, either in what you got or how you interpreted it. I mostly go on gut instinct, and that is very accurate usually.
Being attentive, well mannered, charming, at ease. I think flowers on a first date is a bit much. Chocolate is better or a bottle of wine. For greeting her a smile and hello is best.
RE: "I can't" - R.I.P.