Hi Daddy! Am sitting here lostening to Dance With My Father by Luther Vandross! I sure wish we could Daddy! God I miss you! I know you are watching over me Dad, please know I miss you and I love you and someday we will fish those streams again. It has been 14 years since you went on home, but it still feels like yesterday! I love you daddy with all my heart! I miss you!! Happy Birthday Daddy!!!!!!!!!
Your Loving Dayghter.............................."Sis"
Sorry all............had no idea this would offend ayone at all. Looks like for some reason she does not like me. I have no idea who she is...........but she went to another of the jokes I posted also.........guess I have an enemy for some unknown reason. Please forgive my sense of humor...........will stop posting now, don't want to offend anyone..............in anyway whatsoever!
Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.
Jim and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Jim suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there.
Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Jim out.
When the Head Nurse Director became aware of Edna's heroic act, she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now considered her to be mentally stable.When she went to tell Edna the news she said, "Edna, I have good news and bad news."
The good news is you're being discharged; since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of another patient, I have concluded that your act displays that you have a sound mind.
The bad news is, Jim, the patient you saved, hung himself in the bathroom with his bathrobe belt right after you saved him. I am so sorry, but he's dead.
"Edna replied, "He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry. How soon can I go home?"
P.S....................My name is Edna, but I don't know anyone named Jim................(not anymore anyways) LMAO
>> > A farmer stopped by the local mechanic shop to have his truck fixed. >>They >> >> > couldn't do it while he waited, so he said he didn't live far and would >> >> > just >> >> > walk home. On the way home he stopped at the hardware store and bought >> > a >> >> > bucket and a gallon of paint. He then stopped by the feed store and >>picked >> >> > up a couple of chickens and a goose. However, struggling outside the >>store >> >> > he now had a problem - how to carry his entire purchases home. >> >> > >> >> > >> >> > >> >> > While he was scratching his head he was approached by a little old lady >> >> > who >> >> > told him she was lost. She asked, 'Can you tell me how to get to 1603 >> >> > Mockingbird Lane?' The farmer said, 'Well, as a matter of fact, my farm >>is >> >> > very close to that house I would walk you there but I can't carry this >> >> > lot.' >> >> > >> >> > The old lady suggested, 'Why don't you put the can of paint in the >>bucket. >> >> > Carry the bucket in one hand, put a chicken under each arm and carry >> > the >> >> > goose in your other hand?' 'Why thank you very much,' he said and >> >> > proceeded >> >> > to walk the old girl home. >> >> > >> >> > On the way he says 'Let's take my short cut and go down this alley. >>We'll >> >> > be >> >> > there in no time.' The little old lady looked him over cautiously then >> >> > said, >> >> > I am a lonely widow without a husband to defend me. How do I know that >> >> > when >> >> > we get in the alley you won't hold me up against the wall, pull up my >> >> > skirt, >> >> > and have your way with me?' The farmer said, 'Holy smokes lady! I'm >> >> > carrying >> >> > a bucket, a gallon of paint, two chickens, and a goose. How in the
>> > world >> >> > could I possibly hold you up against the wall and do that?' The old >> > lady >> >> > replied, 'Set the goose down, cover him with the bucket, put the paint >>on >> >> > top of the bucket, and I'll hold the chickens.
I have 3 tats and want a fourth................I love tats. The only thing I don't like about them is when someone has thier whole body covered with tats. That is toooooooooooooo extreme.
Three quarterbacks, Peyton Manning, Tony Romo and Tom Brady, go to heaven to visit God to watch the Celtics play a game. God decides who will sit next to him by asking the boys a question... God asks Peyton Manning first:
"What do you believe?" Peyton thinks long and hard, looks God in the eye, and says, "I believe in hard work, and in staying true to family and friends. I believe in giving. I was lucky, but I always tried to do right by my fans." God can't help but see the essential goodness of Manning, and offers him a seat to his left. Then God turns to Tony Romo and says, "What do you believe?" Tony says, "I believe passion, discipline, courage and honor are the fundamentals of life. I, too, have been lucky, but win or lose, I've always tried to be a true sportsman, both on and off the playing fields." God is greatly moved by Tony's sincere eloquence, and he offers him a seat to his right. Finally, God turns to Tom Brady: "And you, Tom, what do you believe?" Tom replies, "I believe you're in my seat."
Charlotte, North Carolina. A lawyer purchased a box of very rare and expensive cigars, then insured them against, among other things, fire. Within a month, having smoked his entire stockpile of these great cigars and without yet having made even his first premium payment on the policy the lawyer filed a claim against the insurance company. In his claim, the lawyer stated the cigars were lost 'in a series of small fires.' The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious reason, that the man had consumed the cigars in the normal fashion. The lawyer sued and WON! (Stay with me.) Delivering the ruling, the judge agreed with the insurance company that the claim was frivolous. The judge stated nevertheless, that the lawyer held a policy from the company, which it had warranted that the cigars were insurable and also guaranteed that it would insure them against fire, without defining what is considered to be unacceptable 'fire' and was obligated to pay the claim. Rather than endure lengthy and costly appeal process, the insurance company accepted the ruling and paid $15,000 to the lawyer for his loss of the cigars lost in the 'fires'.
NOW FOR THE BEST PART..
After the lawyer cashed the check, the insurance company had him arrested on 24 counts of ARSON!!! With his own insurance claim and testimony from the previous case being used against him, the lawyer was convicted of intentionally burning his insured property and was sentenced to 24 months in jail and a $24,000 fine.
This is a true story and was the First Place winner in the recent Criminal Lawyers Award Contest. ONLY IN AMERICA, NO WONDER THIRD WORLD COUNTRIES THINK WE'RE NUTS!
A man was leaving a convenience store with his morning coffee when he noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery.
A long black hearse was followed by a second long black hearse about 50 feet behind the first one. Behind the second hearse was a solitary man walking a dog on a leash.
Behind him, a short distance back, were about 200 men walking single file.
The man couldn't stand the curiosity. He respectfully approached the man walking the dog and said, "I am so sorry for your loss, and I know now is a bad time to disturb you, but I'v e never seen a funeral like this. Whose funeral is it?"
"My wife's."
"What happened to her?"
The man replied, "My dog attacked and killed her."
He inquired further, "But, who is in th e second hearse?"
The man answered, "My mother-in-law. She was trying to help my wife when the dog turned on her."
A poignant and thoughtful moment of silence passed between the two men.
One evening a man was at home watching TV and eating peanuts. > He'd toss them in the air, and then catch them in his mouth. In the > Middle of catching one, his wife asked him a question - and as he > Turned to answer her, a peanut fell in his ear. He tried and tried To > dig it out but succeeded in only pushing it in deeper. He Called his > wife for assistance, and after hours of trying they Became worried and > decided to go to the hospital. > > As they were ready to go out the door, their daughter came home With > her date. After being informed of the problem, their Daughter's' date > said he could get the peanut out. The young man Told the father to sit > down, then proceeded to shove two fingers up The father's nose and > told him to blow hard.. When the father blew, The peanut flew out of & gt; his ear. > > The mother and daughter jumped and Yelled for joy. The young man > insisted that it was nothing. > > Once he was gone, the mother turned to the father and said, 'That's so > wonderful! Isn't he smart? What do you think he's going To be when he > grows older ?' > > The father replied, 'From the smell of his fingers, our son In-law.'
Just because a person has a disability does not change who they are............you do have some that play thier disability to the limit, but that is how they chose to deal with it. Most disabled people I have met are very cool people and try thier best to get on life, no matter the obstacles they face.
nhcavegal Forum Posts (269)
Dear Dad
TYVM