thelastgoodman0 Forum Posts (119)

RE: It's so interesting

Mostly, I'm just tired of women wasting my life with their stupid games.

RE: It's so interesting

It's the whole "nice guys finish last" problem. I used to date broken women who had too many emotional scars from the jerks they dated before me. I kept on giving them chances because I'm a nice guy. They pretend to want the good men who treat them right, but they really want a "bad boy" they can whip into submission. We nice guys are no challenge. We're loyal, respectful, kind, caring, loving, sweet, generous, honest, have a great sense of humor, and give them everything they want. They don't have to work for those qualities with us because they're things we do naturally, so they take us for granted quickly.

Well, no more "mister nice guy" from me. If a woman wants to be with me, she'll have to earn the right and fight off the crowd. She'll have to prove she's not broken and is worth my time. I'm worth it. If they can't see it, there's something not right in their heads or they need to get their rumps off their shoulders. That enough of a "bad boy" attitude for you ladies to pay attention?

Double Standards

I'm already at the point where she'd have to fly down here, get on her knees, and beg me to take her back before I would sit down and talk things through with her, so I'm ready to find someone like that. Now all that remains is for someone like that to find me or for me to find them. I've accepted the fact that she's not going to be that kind of person anytime soon, if ever.

Double Standards

No, you're absolutely right. It's a point I couldn't quite get across to my ex-girlfriend. True love is a decision, just like you put it, to grow a life together. I believe that with all my heart and want a woman who can feel the same.

*shrug* She couldn't, her loss.

Thanks for the

I don't think luck had anything to do with it. You found a mature man who understood, like you do, that love is something you do instead of just something you feel. Thank you for posting. You give me hope that I'll find that someday, too.

RE: does a liar lies when he says he is telling a lie?

I remember something along those lines from an old Dr. Who episode back in the Tom Baker years...

Double Standards

Is that flirting?

Well, at the very least, thank you for your kind and hopeful words. I needed the hug, too, and I'll probably pop open a nice bottle of wine to go with dinner.

Cheers!

Double Standards

I've heard it said that it's not give and take, but give and give. Some people are just incapable of sacrificing anything for anyone and only love themselves.

RE: For MEN ONLY : What´s your style to say"it´s over" to a girl ?

My method would be to involve her in the decision. I would tell her that I think things aren't working out, communicate clearly what I see as a problem that, if not resolved, would result in the end of the relationship, and listen to her point of view on the issue and try to find a way to work things out. If we could not agree to a solution, we would at least be able to know that we talked things through and gave it our best. The end result would be both of us accepting the breakup well.

Of course, this has never happened in my life. I've always ended up with women who couldn't or wouldn't communicate about problems in a relationship.

Double Standards

I agree. I'm moving on now, but I'm the "thinker" who likes to learn what I can from everything. Plus, this is a lot more productive than the "Does God Exist" type of threads.

Double Standards

People have to be willing and able to change some things about themselves for any relationship to really work out. Only the most pompous, self-righteous among us are unable to be wrong on issues and must sometimes change our point of view. That just goes along with being mature.

People who truly love someone will change some of their behaviors if they know those behaviors may be potential relationship breakers and they enjoy the relationship more than the behavior. Those who enjoy not having to change anything about themselves should just stay off the dating scene until they're ready to bend a little.

That's not to say that people should expect their partners to change everything to suit their desires without changing anything themselves. That kind of controlling behavior is equally unacceptable in a functional relationship. I don't see it as wrong to request that someone give your music a chance, for example, or to expect that they go with you to see a movie in a genre they don't really care for on occasion if you're willing to do the same for them.

Double Standards

Double Standards

When people don't discuss things, they tend to develop unrealistic expectations. When issues are discussed, their expectations are more realistic.

The only things I really expect (i.e. demand) in a relationship are communication, honesty, loyalty, and dedication to work through problems like reasonable adults instead of running away. Those are reasonable expectations that anyone who wants a good, working, lasting relationships should expect.

Double Standards

Correction - I might order one of my kids (if I ever have any) to do something if they needed it someday.

Double Standards

Well, I'd never order someone I love to do anything.

But I think you're talking about your situation. No, it wasn't right of him to leave you especially if you went outside to smoke and only smoked 5 a day.

Double Standards

I think I should make this post required reading for the next woman I date lol

Double Standards

While this is true, there's no harm in discussing things that need changing. Sometimes, people are willing to change some things and relationships end because those things are not discussed. Other times, just talking about the things helps make them more acceptable. People can agree to disagree on issues instead of parting ways.

Double Standards

I had quit smoking before I met my ex-girlfriend, but I started up again from hanging out with her. I'm still trying to quit again.

Double Standards

Of course, it's just as wrong to discard a good relationship instead of communicating about what needs to be changed.

Double Standards

I agree completely. It's more important to communicate than to expect "accept me as I am" because that method never works out. Functional relationships are give and take, not just take.

Double Standards

In my last relationship, my significant other wanted me to accept her for who she was. Her reason for ending our relationship? There were too many things about me she couldn't accept, or in other words, she would not accept me for who I am.

The sad thing about all this is that I made it very clear in the beginning of the relationship that I despised double standards and wanted nothing to do with anyone who wanted them or applied them.

Has anyone else experienced something similar they would like to share? Do you apply one set of rules to yourself and another to the person you date? If so, why do you feel this is acceptable behavior?

The purpose of this thread is to explore the idea of double standards in relationships and, hopefully, find ways to prevent them.

RE: Memo....from God

Great and mighty is our Amity! Free us from thought and responsibility! Amen!

RE: death

Well, if I could go there and come back retaining information from the "other side" after coming back, I'd tell you. As it stands, we can't know. People with near death experiences can tell us about what almost being dead is like, but not about the post-death experience.

RE: The London riots and the attack on Prince Charles

An organized refusal to sign up for classes would work better than violent protests. If there are no paying students, the schools shut down, professors are unemployed, and the education system fails. To prevent this, prices will be reduced. If students really want to keep the prices down, they need to refuse to sign up for classes next term unless the prices are reduced.

Violence is never the best answer. Besides, they could all probably use a few months off school.

RE: how did you end your last relationship

I'd like to post one last clarification, because I don't want my words misconstrued. I do not approve of men (or women's) abusive behaviors, and I never try to excuse or condone, nor do I say they "bring it on themselves" anywhere in my posts. While I could take offense at this misrepresentation of my statements, I choose not to. I understand how you could have misread my short post. Sorry, but I'm human. I'm not perfect, and I don't always communicate effectively. I'm not "playing the blame game" as you put it at all. I'm examining causes.

When two people fight, it's a back and forth exchange of pointless yelling and verbal bullying, each trying to overpower the other, neither being willing to back down. This sometimes leads to physical violence by one party or the other. This happens in any societal setting, from friendships to family settings. The best way to avoid the physical confrontation is for one party to back down and "put their paws in the air" until the anger has passed, then discuss things like rational human beings. That's the main point I was trying to get across. Shouting matches never achieve anything good, and only make things worse.

RE: how did you end your last relationship

Except for in cases involving drugs and/or booze, most cases of domestic violence are the result of a women not knowing when to back off and let men cool off. When a man gets angry, it's never a good idea to push your luck unless you are willing to get into a physical confrontation. It takes two to tango. Just sayin'

When women are the abusers, men usually don't report it because they're ashamed or because the police would laugh at them. Some women take advantage of that. Women do all kinds of crazy stuff, too, if the man reports them to the police, like breaking their own arm by slamming it in the freezer door or burning themselves with a curling iron to make it look like their man abused them. Most men in situations with women like that have a hard time getting out.

Glad to see you got out of there.

Should I go on the blind date described below?

Thanks for the advice, everyone. I've made my decision.

My friend can ask me to do something less emotionally demanding. It wouldn't be fair to the girl, and it would make me sad, so it's a no. I appreciate everyone's help in making me see things from varying points of view.

Should I go on the blind date described below?

I'll have to pay back the favor some other way. Plus, might ruin any chance I have if the one I want does come back to me.

Should I go on the blind date described below?

I'll be ok. I still have her in my dreams.

Should I go on the blind date described below?

Impossible, but thanks for posting.

Should I go on the blind date described below?

not really, just wishing she would call and say she wants me back, that's all