I am sorry that there is so much uncertainty for you in your relationship with this man.
I agree that it makes no sense for him to say lovely things to you via his emails, and then to step back. Sadly, some people have the capacity to do this, yet they do not mean a word they say. They have their own agenda, whatever that may be. This seems incomprehensible to someone who is decent and truthful.
In my view, the ultimate in being pampered is when the one you love freely gives their time, attention and love exclusively to you.
I'm not bothered about teddy bears etc (not that I'm a teddy bear hater!), but the fact that I knew that he loved only me would be more than enough in itself.
RE: Chemistry
HiI think you know at once if chemistry is present or not.
When real chemistry is there, it's like an electric charge.
I don't think that it can develop over time.