Even those of you who don’t own pets could enjoy this - those of you who do will relate.
FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO HAVE PETS, THIS IS A TRUE STORY. FOR THOSE THAT DON'T, IT IS A TRUE STORY.
The following was found posted very low on a refrigerator door..
Dear Dogs and Cats:
The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.
The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Racing me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.
I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort, however.. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other, stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out on the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.
For the last time, there is no secret exit from the bathroom !If, by some miracle, I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge in an attempt to open the door. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years - canine/feline attendance is not required.
The proper order for kissing is: Kiss me first, and then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.
Finally, in fairness, dear pets, I have posted the following message on the front door:
TO ALL NON-PET OWNERS WHO VISIT AND LIKE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT OUR PETS:
(1) They live here. You don't. (2) If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. That's why they call it 'fur'-niture (3) I like my pets a lot better than I like most people. (4) To you, they are animals. To me, they are adopted sons/daughters who are short, hairy, walk on all fours and don't speak clearly.
Remember, dogs and cats are better than kids because they: (1) eat less, (2) don't ask for money all the time, (3) are easier to train, (4) normally come when called, (5) never ask to drive the car, (6) don't smoke or drink, (7) don't want to wear your clothes, (8) don't have to buy the latest fashions, (9) don't need a gazillion dollars for college and (10) if they get pregnant, you can sell their children
unfornatly its lookin like you ll need a northern borderwall to, unless you come reliberate the decendants of the ancestors that were cut off from your ancesstors that gave up and desserted them.back in 1812....probly figured ...eh there polar bear meat anyway
ran into that at 1 point 30 plus dwn 2 three now ,yes they will conspire within thier hieracrchy and overload you cas usually vets wont spay them if nursing or preg
my blue point always brought back the things he hunted for me "live"...even small rabbits..they were apparently bred from choclate point siamese for there smarts attitudeand loyalty and possesivness and himalayans if "they" choose "you" to be there human....(if they dont like or trust you there gone) for small game hunting cas they retrive.ova 1000 yrs ago and there bringing u things to show there appreciation for u and to hopfully bring a smile to thier humans face ....so yeah youll feed them or give them attention petting playing with them .an dont ever think aa cat wont put the run on a dog or attack a human if threatened and hav been known to sav humans warning of house fires ect
love all animals but you take a cat and dog put them both in middle of nowherre .....itll be the cat that makes it out alive as long as dog dont eat cat
so by todays standards would the people oridgionally responsible for there being a U.S. "of" A like john cul"prepper" patrik henry ect be shot as terrorists instead of the freedom fighters they were?
khan1459 Forum Posts (67)
RE: why do some middle aged men date young girls. are they afriad to date a real woman???
easier to please,impress,more apreciative ect