CountDracula Forum Posts (113)

RE: Do you talk in your sleep?

Yes I do. I talk in English or in Bengali, my mother tongue. I scream; I wake up from fearsome dreams; I laugh; and I cry sometimes. I must be quite a show at night. But bad dreams are not at all funny. And I toss and turn about so my companion in bed - when I have one - is not at all comfortable.

But during the day I am a calm persom; perhaps too calm.

RE: Mind

Think of Thomas Aquinas: great mind very closed or St. Paul or any number of great thinkers.

Think of me when it comes to prejudice; I clamp down. Maybe I am wrong. Think of yourself - never heard you? We are all like that, only some are better.

Opem minds, my god open minds; There has possibly one per century. Newton then Keynes and this last century who,..except Keynes and WTITGENSTEIN.

wHAT A QUESTION. iT BRINGS DOWN THE HEAVENS.

RE: Question of Age in Love!

Not in the least.

You are the only one who sees the real issue in this discussion.

RE: What would be of Oslojente if she was US American Citizen..??

Maybe.

RE: Could you marry

No I havent. But I CAN marry only because of love. I am looking for something which will make me happy waking anytime and also happy if she awakes suddenly and needs me.

RE: What would be of Oslojente if she was US American Citizen..??

Hifi, You have written a poem here. A poem of deliverance and of the precarious future. You are at a juncture of life when thoughts and emotions collide. Concern and optimism fight.

It usually works out as you thought, never perfectly, but close to - but you are wise enough to know that.

If that is why you sound so turbulent (not really but for lack of a better word) then always remember we are here for you. For as long as you want there is a room for you and your daughter. Always. I am sure it would be repeated by everybody here.

You are so talented; so industrious; so outward looking; so enterprising. Nothing can stand in your way. You have a thousand of us here behind you. Never forget that. You have the future in front of you - I', sure you will never forget that. You have that little girl always and always and always.

And you have Paolo.

Anytime and always, I speak for my friends too, - if needed, just give us a shout.


love, love, love, love and gratefulness

I hang my head in shame when I think of your courage

Trinanjan

RE: If...your friend had really bad laugh...

Oh yes, I will make a point of it! Dont be complacent antcus; you may actually love it.

RE: feelings

A few times. Though such imaginative innocent dreams hardly appear anymore.

Wordsworth is incomparable. His words about being being young in in dawn (of the French Revolution in which recent research has revealed he was there) 'to be young was divine' are ineffable.

Wordsworth and Heine were poets of that period. Heine's lines were more intellectual; Wordsworth's were piercing to the heart

How on earth did these lines occur to you Wedward? I wont be thinking of much else tonight.

RE: choosing a subject

The sort of ties I wore when I needed to had the colours of African Emergent Nations. 'Who's that tie'people would say as I passed them.

But women loved anything - any tie I wore.

It's many years I dont wear my ties but I have an eye-popping collection.

RE: honesty

Yes. Very likely. I feel quieter. Thanks and love. H

ps: I am going nowhere, not for a while but I wish you were here with me.

RE: Purpose

Dear Julia, I personally feel that there is no purpose in life in the general sense. When you die you die. The man is gone, the feelings and thoughts are gone, it is time for new life.

However, Hindu religious philosophy has managed to neatly capture the idea of purpose, destiny, duty and these other imponderables in this twin concepts of Dharma and Karma. It is rather more complex than I've ever bothered to delve into but briefly:

Dharma -what you should do ie. child support payments, honesty, kindness etc

Karma- what you have been reborn for to achieve or to suffer.

If Karma indicates (and this is entirely subjective) that you be a rich man no matter how; or a atom bomb scientist; or a limbless beggar on the dusty streets of Calcutta - in the first two cases most people feel damn dharma and proceed with their karma... only to be reborn as the limbless beggar next time around (supposedly).

The law of karma links up the moral quality of past actions with the hedonistic quality of present and future life in a deterministic way. If you think deeper you will see that god is acquitted of resposibility for evil. And funnily enough Jain, and Buddhist atheists take it as a natural law needing no omniscient monitor.

Any more enlightentend than before. I guess not.

My father was a teacher - it was his religion to teach. He has done so for 65 years and still does. He is a scholar of hindu philosophy, history and religion etc. but a most muscular atheist. Go figure.

I was surely meant to be a deadbeat and a rake - I have done so for 40 years. But I have been a fighter for the underdog and even been in prison for being so in remote Bihar province of India.

All in all, it is probably our brains that need this irrigation to find out what's what about this mysterious life. It's nothing that can be spelled out within the capacity of our understanding. Some dont accept it and find religion, meaning purpose. It makes not a whit of difference.

We are all born, live, find happiness and sorrow and then we die. All so seemingly meaningless and purposeless. That is an essential condition of our existence.

Study philosophy if you seek further knowledge. Avoid easy purveyors of knowledge like religionists. But if you succumb, no harm done.

All the best,

Homer

RE: What's the difference between "the occult" "witchcraft" & "spiritual channeling" "spiritual healing"

It is a very hard thing to distinguish between the four things you mention. Let's for starts call them as branches of paranormal phenomena. Paranormal is an adjective used for phenomena lying outside the range of normal scientific investigation. In some way all of paranormal manifestations is about communication without physical links. What all these phenomena - when authentic - have in common is not only the lack of accepted explanations but the much stronger claim that there will never be acceptable explanations, even for any future science.

But another question is being overlooked here..electricity was once seen as an Occult life fluid, which it appeared to be its ability to shock and convulse, its frenzied sparking and its sinous ethereal glow in tubes or in the sky.

Paranormal produces drama, science doesnt. Results of science are seen as magic by the backward people of this world where paranormal is everday and science a superior paranormal.

I mean you must include religion and science in this brew together with the paranormal. Do we understand complex scientific explanations of ordinary things or of the universe - mostly not. Yet we dont sweat it.

These have been been succcessive explanations of exixtence. Science rules today. Occult exists but is not taken seriously generally.

I once had a fat book called Religion and the Death of Magic. It was a work of history. Somebody took it and never returned it.

Anyway, man's greatest study has been man himself. And whatever lies out there is far less complex than the relationship between mind and heart. Between psychology and physiology. Between 'love'and 'hate'.

Society is the biggest question of them all.

Sorry for digressing Snowflower but important thoughts have a way, a life of their own and run out of hand.

RE: honesty

Snowflower,

I know I dont have to explain and justify all this to others, only to myself. I went first to a strict methodist school followed by firming up in a dunjeon of a Jesuit school. All this while my parents were crypto communists and atheists to the core.

The net result has been for so so many years a complete split in my thinking. I have done what all men have done and perhaps more - mortals I should say instead of men. I have suppressed my feelings of jealousy, of envy, of anger, of hatred and at the end of it understood nothing and felt totally alienated and misunderstood. My ethic was too strong a brew. My stomach couldnt suffer it any more.

At the age of 26 I met an Italian lad from the south where any sign of intelligence and they were taken by the church. Enzo was his name - not much attention devoted even at birth, never anything fanciful, not even a name that spoke of his parent's ambitions. He joined the orders at age 7; became a theologian; taught philosophy at Rome and THEN discovered girls after 30 years of strict catholic indoctrination.

I was doing my MBA in Brussels and he was studying photography; he worked as a hotel porter at night and I was a waiter across the street. We met through his girlfriend Bernadette who was a connection. Enzo had applied for for post at the EU as translator, waited many years, got the plum job and threw it away for photography. He knew that his chances at being successful as a photograher were very low - it wasnt talent of which he had plenty, but the fierce competition and infighting.

We met through Bernadette and became fast friends. We talked about everything. His depth of knowledge was profound. He was not a flash intellectual - he was world class and so very humble and inobstrusive. I sat at his knees - metaphorically - and talk and asked questions about everything from casuistry to physics and love. At the same time I betrayed him. I had an affair with Bernadette, so beautiful she was, so loving and so ever felt roped in by Enzo's purity.

My first betrayal. Horrific, when I think of it.

Enzo and I came to Lux at about the same time - me with a banking job, he with a commmission job. In four months he was gone

I have to leave now.

More later

Trinanjan/Homer

RE: honesty

Snowflower,

I know I dont have to explain and justify all this to others, only to myself. I went first to a strict methodist school followed by firming up in a dunjeon of a Jesuit school. All this while my parents were crypto communists and atheists to the core.

The net result has been for so so many years a complete split in my thinking. I have done what all men have done and perhaps more - mortals I should say instead of men. I have suppressed my feelings of jealousy, of envy, of anger, of hatred and at the end of it understood nothing and felt totally alienated and misunderstood. My ethic was too strong a brew. My stomach couldnt suffer it any more.

At the age of 26 I met an Italian lad from the south where any sign of intelligence and they were taken by the church. Enzo was his name - not much attention devoted even at birth, never anything fanciful, not even a name that spoke of his parent's ambitions. He joined the orders at age 7; became a theologian; taught philosophy at Rome and THEN discovered girls after 30 years of strict catholic indoctrination.

I was doing my MBA in Brussels and he was studying photography; he worked as a hotel porter at night and I was a waiter across the street. We met through his girlfriend Bernadette who was a connection. Enzo had applied for for post at the EU as translator, waited many years, got the plum job and threw it away for photography. He knew that his chances at being successful as a photograher were very low - it wasnt talent of which he had plenty, but the fierce competition and infighting.

We met through Bernadette and became fast friends. We talked about everything. His depth of knowledge was profound. He was not a flash intellectual - he was world class and so very humble and inobstrusive. I sat at his knees - metaphorically - and talk and asked questions about everything from casuistry to physics and love. At the same time I betrayed him. I had an affair with Bernadette, so beautiful she was, so loving and so ever felt roped in by Enzo's purity.

My first betrayal. Horrific, when I think of it.

Enzo and I came to Lux at about the same time - me with a banking job, he with a commmission job. In four months he was gone

I have to leave now.

More later

Trinanjan/Homer

RE: If...your friend had really bad laugh...

you mean with broken teeth, bad breath, leering face, goes on too long and something totally corrupted in aspect

No, I would not tell. She would be my lodestone for relationships permanent and impermanent.

Besides, it would be so delightful and make me laugh on and on

I have been seeking a woman with a gorgeously horrid laugh for long years

RE: honesty

Expressed with condign irony. It's true Snowflower that there was a bit of satisfaction or schadenfreude in your telling of the story.

You are in my corner Snowflower but I did, very truly, see the slightly wrong angle you had in this. My apologies as usual for having a laugh at the most inopportune time.

If Snowflower, you understand Richard's point you'll see that it is not a 'deserving' fate even if that guy turned out to be a total idiotic loser.

Homer

RE: honesty

Snowflower,

As Hamlet tells Octavio 'There is more in heaven and earth than can be dreamt of in your philosophy' .

Life I think is more complex than rigid concepts of truth, honesty, faithfulness etc though they are equally necessary. Those who are believers in god do grant him the manumission from the most spectacular betrayals like disease, famine, flood, poverty and so much more. I am most certainly not of that elevated status - merely a human being.

Wedwards quention did not make me hesitate a second to come out and say I had lied - but is lying the issue. Isnt our conventional morality the issue - with all its hypocrises.

I have loved your caring friendliness always and I will always remember it if I am banished forever from these rooms.

love

Trinanjan

RE: honesty

I was waiting for this question to come one day Snowflower. It has now arrived. I cannot but tell my story without ornamentation or self-justification.

Because all this is on cyberspace it didnt mean that my heart was heavy always. Burdened by prevarications and evations and subterfuges.

I have liked - indeed loved so many people here. I came here out of curiosity, thinking it would perhaps provide a thrill or two but I never guessed the huge emotional pull the members of this site exerted would exert on me.

I never have said an untruth in my expresssions of friedship and affection here; never either in the views I have expressed here; I so rejoiced in this sea of companionship that I thought I was genuinely a part of it.

If I have to go, so be it. But it will be in tears and fond remembrances.

ever,

Trinanjan (Homer)

RE: honesty

I am not in any kind of clear position myself though I have asked if I am an impostor. My answer has not brought clarity either. But I am glad you bring up this question. I am estranged, mostly live separate lives but still not divorced.

Why am I here is simply because trying to seek companionship I have come to meet. know and be happy with so many CS members. I couldnt tear myself away from them even after this relatively brief sojourn here. It is like those lost days of college when life seemed to be forever and gay.

Have I committed further subterfuges? Perhaps in evading a meeting; face to face I am an incompetent liar and a very unwilling one. Truthfulness cannot be achieved once ensnared in my actions. I have truly ensnared myself by my need for loving companionship.

Have I had a relationship with a woman while still being on CS? Yes, I have. But it was nothing I was sure of - nothing I could sustain myself with. I have depended heart and soul on friends here.

So Wedward, in a solid way mea-culpa; and yet in some ineffable way mea non-culpa. But that is for others to judge not me. I hope I have come through as honestly as one can. I have fears of commitment, fears of abandonment so late in life, I am engulfed with fears.

Thus I have acted as I have.

Homer

RE: the "who makes you smile" thread for Cristina !!

Hey Hifi,

How are you? This bus of yours is an obsession. right? But without an 'obsession' we hardly do anything - no reasonable person ever achieved anything!

For good! You are diving off the deep end dear 'Gela. But I wish you well and luck and the best. But please dont go off the radar after going to Tuscany.

love and everything good,

Trinanjan

RE: hi i am satish 28/m i looking for life partnar

Dear Satish,

You may feel that you've received a less than enthusiatic welcome.

But fear not - people here are wonderful though they may take time to warm to some new members. Your membership does not depend on the reception other members give you. Persist. Read the EU Forum topics. Add any comment you may have but try not to offend others (who am I to say that!)

Above all, unless there is some judicial reason you dont add you photo then DO ADD IT!! We are not all of us here to join a beauty contest. We are here to be friends first and then work upwards according to our inclinations. Friendship is the rock on which everyone here is. Common interests or disagreements make it stimulating. Attraction, dating love...there is no limit to where members eventually go. There is no Judgement Panel. It is private or as public as you want your involvement to be.

I personally welcome you to CS.

RE: hi im new to forums

Hi Rita,

Looks like you get on well with the women; but that was not the point, was it?

Glad to have you here. Very glad. There are superb women and hordes of cruddy men here on CS. But you will find something in everyone here. Nobody is entirely a deadloss. (For dead losses visit the Int'l Forum. The DLs there are evolved to their finest form).

What really strikes me stone dead is that how come most CS members seem to be in Malta? 'Do they breed Godessess in Magnum Slocna?'

One of these days, I'm pretty sure, CS with all its members will move to Malta; maybe take it over and stick up their own flag and declare itself a subsidiary nation and demand a seat in the United Nations!


About the men - my question is really 'Do they breed such suave rats in Slocum Lochna?' Nah..I'm being unfair.

You are here for a man you would trust to spend the rest of your life happily. I wish you the best.

I am here for friends - and I do a very poor job of it; meet admirable women; perhaps date but very doubtful about a lifelong commitment.

So on all counts, I am practically an outsider in these rooms.

Welcome to CS again.

RE: uk floods

You make your point Smoky.

RE: "Love"

Beautifully expressed Forever Young.

But I was merely joking in my post

RE: What am I missing?

You are, Brunette, lovely, sweet and funny.

'What am I missing' - you dont need any stupid hulky gorilla to change your bulb

Maybe right afterwards.

RE: Best thing to say or do after Making Love

Yeah. In the past I would have thrown off your gross water monster body, right out off bed as you'd be squealing for motherly love at that point; kicked and flung at you hopefully striking you at some right places; gone for a pee; come back to the bedroom griding heels on your pathetic half-chin


Got it?

RE: Please add the next line..........

For he is..an Englishman....Gibert and Sullivan

Lord Chatterly you call him you terrible woman - he can repopulate the Solar System woman!

RE: "Love"

WHO THE HELL KNOWS WHAT LOVE IS!!!

RE: SERENDIPITY

You know what is so off-putting: some kleptomaniacs actually think and call their pickings as 'seredipitous'. I read The New England Journal of Psychiatry occasionally and that is where I saw it. It made me think.

Serendip was indeed the name of Sri Lanka or Ceylon which name I grew up with - as named by the dutch. I salute you for your esoteric knowledge Paolo.

Soli, you got Arthur Koestler wrong. AK said that the word 'coincidence' was just a descriptive word - it offers no explanation. Like when we say star - the word itself doesnt suggest anything about what a star actually is. So while coincidences are routinely happening, and people tend to shrug their shoulders and say 'ah coincidendence', it has left them no wiser.

Serendipity cannot be used as anything but something indicating fortune. Escaping narrowly an accident is a 'lesson in life'.

Snowflower, you are a popular and loved teacher. And pupils, for some boneheaded reason, show their appreciation the same way again and again

RE: What am I missing?

Sorry. But I cannot see you as an agressive pugilist. No way.

Take care