An Irishman, an Englishman and a Scot on holiday walk into a bar and sit down by the window. The view was fantastic, the beer excellent, the food exceptional.
"Y'ken," said the Scotsman, "I still prefer the pubs back hame. Why, in Glasgow there's a wee bar called McTavish's. Now, the landlord there goes out of his way for the locals so much that when you buy 4 drinks, he will buy the 5th drink for you."
"Well," said the Englishman, "at my local, The Red Lion, the barman there will buy you your 3rd drink after you buy the first two."
"Ahhh, that's nuttin," said the Irishman. "Back home in Dublin there's O'Driscoll's Bar. Now, the moment you set foot in the place they'll buy you a drink, then another, all the drinks you like. Then, when you've had enough drinks, they'll take you upstairs and see that you get laid. All on the house."
"Wow," said the Englishman, "did this actually happen to you?"
"Not me, myself, personally, no," said the Irishman "but it happened to me sister!"
1. The correct plural of haggis is haggii, although under certain grammatical circumstances it can be haggises or even “wee yins”. The name Haggii comes from the Latin for “harried ones”.
2. The Haggis Hunting season runs from when they hatch (30 November) until 25 January. The 31st of December is particularly anticipated by Haggis hunters as it is when great herds of Haggii migrate north for winter. The correct term for stalking a haggis is “havering”.
3. Lewis Carroll’s nonsense poem “The Hunting Of The Snark” was originally called “The Hunting Of The Haggis” until he found out the Scottish beast actually existed.
4. Seeing a live haggis is supposed to be a sign of imminent good fortune. Earl Nyaff of Uirsgeul reputedly encountered one on his way to Ayr races in 1817 and subsequently won £50. True, he was badly trampled by the winner and flogged for race fixing after being falsely accused by his own brother, but at least he made a tidy profit.
5. An alcoholic drink derived from the haggis has yet to be invented, despite many centuries of intensive research.
6. The haggis is unusual in that it is neither consistently nocturnal nor diurnal, but instead is active at dawn and dusk (crepuscular), with occasional forays forth during the day and night.
7. Haggis eggs are inedible, and can be easily confused with deer droppings. On the whole they are best avoided.
8. Some myths say the spider watched by Robert the Bruce was trying to escape from a haggis foraging for food.
9. Haggis fur is waterproof but not showerproof.
10. No-one has ever succeeded in breeding haggii in captivity
"And the village is making its Sunday collection in church The church wobbles 'twixt hell and heaven's crumbling perch Unnoticed the money box loudly endorses the shame As the world that Christ fought is supported by using his name
And O how the sea she roars with laughter And howls with the dancing wind To see my two feet standing there questioning"
bodleing Forum Posts (13,810)
RE: Appreciate a specific music with a reason.
I'm sure there are many rock fans, in fact possibly the majority who have never heard of Linkin Park let alone Mike Schinoda.btw... who's Wayne Rooney???