Mortimus Forum Posts (32)

RE: Missing Americans

Good riddance. North Americans are pompous fellows who see the rest of the world with a colonial attitude or utter ignorance!. My "North American citizenship" is the bane of my existence. Even if I go home I'm still "American". I really hate tourism from the main land... Yankees go home!!!.

RE: What your IQ score is?

2000 (estimated, the machine exploded).

RE: After meeting the person from an online dating site, how many did you meet to go on date with?

Magic of the internet.

I plan to sneak out at night and take on a long and perilous journey to Hong Kong. Then I will take a fly to the island of Okinawa where I will pass out on the entrance of the US military base there. They will send me home and this nightmare will be over...unless I meet a beautiful Japanese girl that will make me doubt my intention of leaving. At the moment of truth after a tearful goodbye I will scream "Stop the plane!" and run toward the girl and embrace her as the words "THE END" appear in front of us :D.

I'm hiding supplies everyday. If everything goes well I will attempt my escape in a couple of months.

RE: After meeting the person from an online dating site, how many did you meet to go on date with?

RE: How To Win/Make Friends

I'm so rich I buy things from other planets internet networks.

RE: After meeting the person from an online dating site, how many did you meet to go on date with?

Hi. I'm having a very bad experience. Currently I'm stuck in main land China. She deceived me and now I'm stuck here against my will. They force me to work at their family restaurant and they find any excuse to beat the crap out of me. I'm particularly afraid of the elder brother. He is a skilled martial artist. The girl is beautiful but not worth it. I have no way of contacting my family. They refused to pay the ransom. The family of the girl mocks me and can't speak any language I know. The girl only speaks English during the few minutes we are alone when she brings me food. I sometimes think about marrying her so I can gain their trust and escape but I'm afraid they will kill me on the spot.

RE: How To Win/Make Friends

I'm so rich I leave 3 million dollar tips!. I'm so rich I once paid a movie studio to film an alternate ending because I didn't like the original!.

RE: How To Win/Make Friends

I'm so rich I have a private continent!

RE: How To Win/Make Friends

I'm so rich I crash my car everyday and buy another one each morning :D. I'm so rich I get women pregnant just for fun because I want to set the record of having 1 million children.

RE: How To Win/Make Friends

Tell them you are a foreign billionaire. You have a private plane, a private mall, a private golf course, a private airport and a private space station. Tell them you spend 1 million dollar an hour and gain 10 million dollars per second :D.

RE: Hillary experienced a "Short Circuit"...

Yes. I stand by my beliefs.

RE: Hillary experienced a "Short Circuit"...

Better yet : Hilary Clinton is a puppet controlled by Bill Clinton. It is a technicality that many politicians have used in the past. I can see Billy speaking to her through an earpiece.

Billy : Ok, now move to the left and smile.

RE: Hillary experienced a "Short Circuit"...

Hilary and Obama are robots sent by the jews. It is say that on their asses there is a mark that says "Made in Israel".

RE: Say Anything

Lol what are you talking about? :D.

RE: If HIllary becomes president

If Hilary wins the New world order wins. Trumps against the new JEW order. He is the only man who has the balls to attack the PC agenda!. Yeah...Veterans are gods, illegal immigrants are protected classes and big companies can take their factories to China and steal the jobs from U.S citizens!.

Veterans : You signed up, you did your work, deal with it. Nobody owes you anything!. Oh and "draft boys"...too bad you guys were too stupid to dodge it Hohohoho!

Illegal immigrants : In the space between Mexico and the U.S nobody can hear bullets or...screams.

Companies : If you want Chinese workers go and take your factories there but take your central offices too and get the F out!.

Sadly, I must admit that if Trumps wins he is in grave danger of being assassinated by the new world order. The intelligence agencies that killed Kennedy are not afraid ( and have all the power) to do it again.

RE: Say Anything

I just had my first CS heartbreak. You didn't steal money from me, you stole my heart. I was even willing to wait 2 years for you. After 2 wonderful weeks... you said goodbye. At least you didn't disappeared without saying anything. I can't help but think of you every time I'm practising my Japanese. I wonder if the passing of the seasons will banish your memory from my soul. Until we meet again.

RE: So What, I'ma Christian

100% of today's Christians are fake. The movement was infiltrated shortly after the empire established it as their official religion. Jehovah/Yahweh(the "god of the old testament"...Satan himself) sent his followers to corrupt the real Christian teachings and it culminated in the Catholic Church we know today ( and the splinter groups that were eventually created). All religions, all of them, are satanic and a manipulation of Jehovah. Luckily some heroes rescued what they could and escaped Rome and hide the texts and artefacts on remote locations away from the Church. Many of these heroes died at the hands of Vatican assassins but their sacrifice was worth it as the truth has finally come to light!. The real Christianity is a way of life dedicated to the recovery of our godhood and the ascension to the realm beyond. Only then,our endless cycle of death and reincarnation will stop and we will be like the gods from beyond the poles!(our brothers and sisters).

RE: did Jesus turn the water into wine..?

In the REAL story of Jesus ( the bible is false and invented by "Jehova", "the god of the old testament" or as some call him..."Satan")It was after a big battle with a Hebrew army sent to track the master down after he left Jerusalem. You see, Jesus' crucifixion is a lie. The master was also a warrior and I assure you that he is not the type of person that would go down without a fight. He left to Europe with a few of his most trusted students (on the way he gained even more supporters). The Jews following the orders of their "god" amassed an army of 1000 men and finally "cornered" the master. Even with their superior numbers the Jews couldn't succeed in killing the master and his disciples. All the Jews were slaughtered with only 50 men dying on the Master's group. After the battle the men and women were tired and they meditated to calm their souls ( meditation not "prayer)and after the meditation some of them went to search for food. The local Roman outpost provided an empty barrel of wine. The Master used his spiritual powers to turn the water into wine. Not only that, the barrel replenished itself when it was about to run out of wine. As a "thanks" it is said that the wine continued to replenished itself for a couple of days after the master returned it to the outpost and left with his group of followers.

You don't have to bow to a god because YOU ARE GOD. You can't let your enemies harm you. Destroy them before they destroy you. As the Master said :" if you need to fight and kill, do it without hate or you will be as mindless as your enemies".

After decades of study and meditation the master reached Mahaparinirvana at the age of 73 in a temple in India. He never aged a day because he was a purified man and a true reflection of god ( the universe). He didn't die, he transmuted into pure energy, a state of pure perfection. We can all reach that level and be the gods that we are supposed to be. We have to fight "god" ( jehovah) with all our might and end the lie of religion.

RE: Did you know?

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RE: Is GOD one entity for all religions???

In reality all religions are diabolical and invented my Satan himself. The god of the old testament is an impostor ( Satan) and Jesus came to speak against him. Jehovah is not god because god can't manifest himself in a singular dominant form. He is in everything and at the same time he is everything. He is like a computer program that runs the universe. Operating system, you may say. The select few spiritual masters can harness the power of god. That's why is correct to say that every person is god and can have his powers. All the holy books are corrupt and cannot be trusted. The truth is in certain obscure documents that narrate the REAL story of Jesus. I don't need to bow to any god because I AM GOD and so are you!.

RE: Explain to me

When a person is coming from off world he/she needs to acclimate to the Earth's atmosphere first to avoid complications. Those girls from Zeta reticuli are hot and what do you say about those babes from alpha centauri? Mmm.

RE: Trump wont last til the November election

Mr Trump wont last until November, no... he will occupy the white house indefinitely when he takes over the United States of America! .

First he will dissolve congress and replace it with an elite group called "Trump 12". It will consist of 12 members that takes their orders directly from him. The president has the power to purge this group and replace it with 12 new members even if only 1 member is considered a traitor.

Next he will send the army to secure the border with Mexico and build the damn wall!. The wall will be mounted with automated machine guns that will fire at everything coming from Mexico.

These are only a few of the achievements Mr.Trump will bring to The U.S OF A.

Middle east problems? : He will drop two or 4 nukes and problem solved. Diplomacy is for sissies. 1 or 2 nukes and they are begging for mercy.

Let's make America great again!! GOD bless the U.S.A and nowhere else!!.

RE: miss right is not right for me

Scammed 2 times, rejected 50 times and 1 disappeared without a trace...living the dream . Those 2 that scammed me were Mexican. That's why we need to build the damn wall!. Let's put back the "united" in states of America. One man, one country...Donald Trump. God Bless the U.S.A and nowhere else!. .

RE: What age are you in your head?

14 years old.

RE: Does Anybody Know How To Report Someone In The Puzzles

I don't have the slightest idea. I'm just a poor soul that went insane after wandering the halls of Connecting Singles for countless centuries.

Don't worry mother, I will give you a grandchild...I just need to find the one!...the one!! mother don't gooo!! nooo!.

RE: Are computers male or female ?

My computer can be male or female depending on the situation. As a male he is a middle age gentleman that speaks with a British accent. When she is angry (something wrong with the system) I say : "Come on girl, lets see what I can do to help you". I'm a computer technician and every computer has a personality :D.

RE: Does Anybody Know How To Report Someone In The Puzzles

Let me tell you something brother!. We were best of friends, we bonded together man!. Then you back-stabbed me, you put Miss Elizabeth between us and destroyed one of the best tag team in the world wrestling federation!. I don't know what's gonna happen, something crazy is going to happen when the mega powers collide!. The Whole universe may collapse dude!. Whatcha gonna do when the mega powers explode!?.

The training!, the prayers, the steroids!, the 24 inch pythons! running wild! on you!!!.

RE: whats in youre heart?

I haven't seen a human soul in over 10 years. I was adducted by aliens one night and they keep me in this underground base. I don't know it's location because when I woke up I was already here. The computers here are blocked but I managed to enter this website. Their system is a sort of intranet for the personnel of the base. HELP. Oh god someone's coming!. Logging out.

RE: whats in youre heart?

Once upon a time a girl said to me : "Our hears beat as one". Now I'm very scared, if she dies first then I will die too!( and her location is unknown). I need to find her and eat her heart so I can break the spell. Never again I will let a girl utter those words. Moon!, stars! and everything else! deliver me from this!. The planet is connected to the satellite, the sun is the key and the galaxy is the gate.

RE: The art of conversation!!

Here am I, naked... with a pistol to my head. When I pull this trigger many generations will cease to exist... but do I have the right?. Do I have the right to deny existence to countless generations?. Do I have the right to prevent them from ever being born!?. As I type this I can feel the coldness of my executioner. He is ready to apply his sentence. I shouldn't have used cold water for the water pistol .