I am highly allergic to poison ivy, poison oak and poison sumac. I usually have to be hospitalized when I come in contact with it. My body swells up like one big poison blister.
When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace > expensive.... > so, I took her to a gas station..... and then the fight started.... > > ************************************************************************ > > After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social > Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license > to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my > wallet at home. > > I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and > come back later. The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. So I opened my > shirt revealing my curly silver hair. > She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and > she processed my Social Security application. > > When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the > Social Security office. > > She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten > disability, too' > > And then the fight started..... > > *********************************************************************** > > My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I > kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a > nearby table. > > My wife asked 'Do you know her?' > 'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to > drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she > hasn't been sober since.' > > 'My Goodness!' says my wife, 'Who would think a person could go on > celebrating that long?' > > And then the fight started..... > > *********************************************************************** > > I rear-ended a car this morning. > > So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out > of his car. > > You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things > just seem funny? > > Yeah, well I couldn't believe it.... he was a DWARF!!! > > He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, 'I AM NOT > HAPPY!!!' > > So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well, then which one are you?' > > And then the fight started.....
RE: be brutally honest...wud u date a curvy woman?
wanna go chunky dunken?