I met a lady from another site who said she was 50, turned out she was 57. Not that age is material to relationships but I did feel I was cheated on. My age group is between 44 and 54 so there is no way the lady in question would have come up on my searches.
You seem to attract that into your, wanting to feel you never get what you want. And you get it. It is obvious your fella does not want to be with you. You have to let him go as he is not there for you. You have to go through the pain and sadness of letting it all go. When you do, then you will be ready to attract into your life your soul mate, a person who will be there for you at all times.
RE: If I was wearing only my...
Take them off and get fully naked.