offbeat58offbeat58 Forum Posts (1,126)

RE: Finish the sentence...

Makes me happy to hear you say thatlove

RE: Finish the sentence...

Mekes me happy to hear you say "I love you" heart beating

RE: These are the moments when u need a man in u house

Hey! I'm left handed! But I have adapted to a right handed world very nicely. I can fix most things...even a broken heartkiss

Why I fired my Secretary

Last week was my birthday and I didn't feel very well.
Waking up on that morning I went downstairs for breakfast
hoping my wife would be pleasant and say,
'Happy Birthday!'and possibly have a small present for me.

As it turned out,she barely said good morning,
let alone'Happy Birthday.'

I thought...well,that's marriage for you,
but the kids....they will remember.

My kids came bounding down stairs to breakfast
And didn't say a word.
So when I left for the office.
I felt pretty low and somewhat despondent.


As I walked into my office my secretary Jane said,
'Good Morning Boss,and by the way 'Happy Birthday !'
It felt a little better that at least someone had remembered.


I worked until one o'clock when Jane knocked on my door
and said, 'You know, it's such a beautiful day outside
and it is your birthday, what do you say we go out to lunch
just you and me?'
I said, 'thanks Jane that's the greatest thing
I've heard all day. Let's go !'

We went to lunch.But we didn't go where we normally would go.
She chose instead a quiet bistro with a private table.
We had two martinis each and I enjoyed the meal tremendously.

On the way back to the office, Jane said, 'You know,
it's such a beautiful day...we don't need to go straight back to the office,do we ?'

I responded, 'I guess not. What do you have in mind ?'
She said, 'Let's drop by my apartment,it's just around the corner..'


After arriving at her apartment,Jane turned to me and said,
'Boss, if you don't mind, I'm going to step into the bedroom
for just a moment...I'll be right back.'


'Ok.' I nervously replied.'

She went into the bedroom and,after a couple of minutes,
she came out carrying a huge birthday cake ... followed
by my wife,my kids,and dozens of my friends and co-workers...
all singing 'Happy Birthday'.


And I just sat there...




On the couch...




Naked.


help

RE: is this is a tacky question?

It's a tacky and childish way of figuring out your hair color down below. I'm not justifying it...just explaining it.

RE: NFL playoff thread!

Cardinals win if their defense shows up. Warner just plays better when it matters. Saints going in the wrong direction and may notbe able to stop it.
Ravens should win if there is any justice around here. It would look good on the Colts for mailing it in the last couple of games. Ravens defense and running should be enough.
Jets are on a roll and the Chargers had to sit and wait. Chargers were hot and if they can start running again they should beat the Jets. Hate the Jets as I am a Miami fan.
Again if there is any justice in this world the Cowboys will beat the Vikings. I don't like the Cowboys but I can't stand the Brett Favre's and Roger Clemen's of this world who are nothing more than spoiled brats.
Let the games begin! banana

RE: Fines....

270.50
Geez...think I need to go out and have some fun...these are great tips! banana

RE: What's The Weather Like In Your Area?

Well it feels like a heat wave right now. After -20C for the last 2 weeks we went above zero this weekend (4C)! I think some snow actually melted. Only need to wear a light jacket to go outside. Supposed to be mild the rest of the week,possibly going as high as 8C. Then we will probably slip back into the deep freeze for a couple more months. mumbling

RE: if you really liked someone from the site...........

Go ahead and ask...he could be just as nervous and waiting for you to ask. I had a lady send me an email recently and it's turning out to be brilliant so far. Even if he says no he's hardly going to hold that against you. Good luck cheers

RE: Hi There

Welcome...I have seen you on the International forums. That is where I spend most of my time. Unfortunately not much happens in the Canadian forums. That doesn't mean that we aren't an interesting lot. wine

RE: IT'S THE PEOPLE MARRIED 50 YEARS +

My grandparents moved over here from Ireland and stuck it out through thick and thin. When my grandmother died my grandfather lasted maybe 2 more years before he just gave up. My parents were together until my father died...my mother says that he was the only one for her and will not go after another(it's been 26 years). I have been through some relationships but I found my partner in 2000. We had a great 8 years together. Sadly the last 2 years were spent watching her fight against cancer. In August 2008 she lost her battle. I spent as much time as possible with her and had a good job that would allow me to do so. I was in her room as she took her last breath...she did not have to pass away alone. It is a very tough experience but I have to go on living. Love can be found again...I just hope that I will find it again. Cheers to all...beer

RE: Rock and Roll party!

worth watching...

head banger

RE: Rock and Roll party!

Bruce Springsteen- Rosalita
Saxon-Motorcycle Man
Motorhead-Overkill
Police-Synchronicity
MC5-Kick out the jams
Dire StraitRomeo and Juliet
cheers

RE: Cold In Edmonton

Went out on a date Saturday night...-35C...it had been awfully cold for the last week...you almost get used to it. Now it seems warm out.

RE: Where is the coldest capital in the world?

It was here in Edmonton last weekend...we were the coldest bloody place in North America

RE: ARE YOU ALONE THIS CRISTMAS?

Since I lost my wife last year I haven't been in the mood to be around people at Christmas...until I find someone I guess it will stay that way.

RE: anyone know of a good mechanic

"cars cost less in Wetaskiwin"...time for a new one perhaps?

RE: you are going to be stranded on an Island tonight

Thank you very much...lets do it!handshake

RE: you are going to be stranded on an Island tonight

After the past week tropical would be anything above ZERO!!!!

RE: you are going to be stranded on an Island tonight

A lighter(to make a fire), a knife(for lots of things) and you of course(use your imagination here)...you bring the winewine

RE: ok lets go ,How is your Sunday going,lets here the good or bad

Sitting in my livingroom watching football and keeping warm...
-31C out today...went out last night (-35C)...figured I would just stay in and keep warm today. beer

Random acts of Christmas

You have a good heartcheers

RE: HOW CAN YOU MEND A BROKEN HEART? (BEE GEES)

Same thing happened to me when my wife passed away last year(August)...took me a year to feel good about me and not guilty about living again. You have to be selfish in a way and start doing things for "you"...trust me it will work and you can live againcheers

Random acts of Christmas

So do I...random acts of kindness happen all year...just thought I would give it a Christmas flavourwine see what others are doing.

Random acts of Christmas

Will be buying lunch for my staff next Friday as a Christmas thanks and passing out lots of chocolate

RE: Scarey Saturday

You've seen our fleet eh?

RE: Scarey Saturday

I have a Jeep...won't get stuck in the snow.He hasn't got an email yet...I will run out of gas warming up my truck and waiting...Calgary is a big town

RE: Scarey Saturday

Email me your addresslove

RE: Scarey Saturday

I'm smitten!!wine

RE: Scarey Saturday

Maybe I should come down there and thaw outlaugh

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