Dammit! The rules are very clear and simple. You know that whoever makes a reply such as you just did, violating the laws, gets one picked by whoever makes it first.
I'm stealing your glasses! Try to read and post now... HA!
You are in your late teens, early woman-/man-hood.
Sight
You have seen the world on TV pictures and long to bee there in person through travel. You want to see a Serengeti sunset, a complete aquarelle of colours on a multitude of fish swimming by as you dive into the ocean off a Bora Bora beach, you wish to behold the marvel which is the Sistine Chapel, and later when you are done exploring, when you trap yourself someone to share forever with, you build a family and witness the wonderful smile on your newly born.
Hearing
The laughter of your children whilst they’re playing in the backyard, the cute request a grandchild comes up to make of you, and then the immensely heart-warming “I love you” which follows. The whispers in your ear, in the middle of the night, by your loved one who lay beside you, words of kind praise and pure affection which sends shivers down your spine, and the soft background sound of a Motown slow tune, and a mid-week dance in the living-room.
Taste
The lips of your loved one, or diving in on a table full of Lebanese Meze, and in-between sipping from a giant glass of Shiraz. Blueberry ice-cream, chocolate, honey dew melon in the morning, or a medium done steak.
Smell
Fresh bread, the fragrance of your loved one left on the empty pillow beside you, the smell of early spring or summer in full bloom. Your loved one in your arms during a dance, cheek to cheek, and the scent off the neck.
Touch
Slow, gentle and hypnotizing lovemaking so perfect it can only be described as divine, even the angels above would defy their Lord and agree.
Here’s the rule:
You can’t see any of it, you can’t hear any of it, you can’t taste anything (everything is even less than chewing cardboard), forget the smell of anything or never in your life will you experience the sensation of the intimacy which is lovemaking because you’re paralyzed from waist down. Which sense do you chose to lose? And “I can’t choose any of them”, is kind of ruled out…. by the rule.
How about Satan Clause and his sledge. It’s obviously got some ability to fly on its own, or it wouldn’t follow like it does the reindeer, rather than remaining in an upright position it would rattle along like cans to a string tied to the back of the car of a pair of newly wed. Can you explain that?
Speaking of Flash. What's the deal with his outfit. He's running like a Millenium Falcon makes lightspeed, but those flash-shaped little ornamnet things he has sticking out by his ears never fall off and bend.
And what about The Torch of The Fantastic Four, what about his outfit? Why isn't he naked when he returns from burning? Don't tell me him and Superman got the same tailor.
I bet, it being in america where you're at, there's a little patch sewn onto the inside of the cape which reads... "WARNING. Your child will not be able to fly off the roof of your house in this outfit"
It never even gets dirty What the hell is that all about?
I mean, even in that issue which I remember reading as a kid, when he brought Louis Lane back from the dead by flying around earth at such speed, in the opposite direction of its rotation, he reversed the earth rotation and thus taking the whole planet back in time so he could get to Louis and save her before she died. The speed he must have arrived at would destroy any material. He should have turned up butt naked.
But no, spotless, his outfit was. Someone’s bound to tell me the suit is indestructible, OK, but it's not glued to his body, is it? At the speed he sometimes travels, it should come off, at least a boot should fly off every now and then.
And how about when Superman rescues someone, when he comes flying fast and grabs someone who's just about to be hit by a charging train. Isn't the impact which is created by Superman flying into the person he's rescuing the same lethal force as if being hit by a charging train?
But what bothers me the most is Louis Lane. I tell you, she is NOT a role model. What a nasty piece of work. She’s in love with Superman, but dismissive towards Clark Kent.
Clark's only disguise is a pair of common glasses. It’s not like when I walked into my pub the first time wearing glasses, not a single soul recognized me. How blind can she be? It’s obvious she finds men wearing glasses not up to her standard.
That’s so lame of her, to not recognize her big love simply because he’s put on a pair of glasses. Talk about false love. She doesn’t really love the man, does she? It’s the power Superman emits which she loves. What a fake!
For some reason this thread reminds me of how the opposite would never work, with a man trapping a woman. They’re way too canny for us.
It’s like that Looney Toon cartoon with Roadrunner and the Coyote, and the never-ending chase, where we, of course, are the coyote and women are running laps around us, mocking with their “meep-meep” at our feeble attempts.
Well, there is actually one way for a man to trap a woman. See, what the coyote never figured out is that he should have made the roadrunner believe it had trapped him and then trapped him right back.
It’s like that proverb I’ve forgotten how it reads exactly, from which country I’ve forgotten it is from. Something along the lines of…
…A woman chooses the man to choose her.
(The date for when checks can be sent in for the pre-order of the self-help book about to be published, "101 things I made up about women along the way, as I wrote this book", will be announced soon)
What if I get a couple of frozen TV dinners, turn off all the lights and put her under the spotlight of a flashlight I’m holding towards her, a bottle of cheap Polish vodka and loud techno music, think she might like that? Who knows, maybe she’s into vampire role playing, or sumfin.
CaptainBeirutIII Forum Posts (1,186)
You have to lose a sense, which one do you chose?
Never seen that film, by the way. It's Meryl Streep, isn't it?What, she also refused to abide by the rules and was sent to jail for 12 years?