LANGUAGES

Evening....wink grin cheers

LANGUAGES

A Russian Woman married a Canadian gentleman and they lived happily ever after in Toronto.
The poor lady was not very proficient in the English language, but did manage to communicate with her husband. The real problem arose whenever she had to shop for groceries etc.

One day, she went to the butcher and wanted to buy chicken legs. She didn't know how to put forward her request, so, in desperation, clucked like a chicken and lifted her skirt to show her thighs. Her butcher got the message and gave her the chicken legs.

Next, she needed to get some chicken breasts. Again she didn't know how to say it, so she clucked like a chicken and unbuttoned her blouse to show the butcher her breasts. The butcher understood again and gave her the chicken breasts.

Then the poor lady needed to buy some sausages. Unable to find a way to communicate this to the butcher, she brought her husband to the store...............












What were you thinking?

Her husband speaks English.

I worry about you lot some times.
grin cheers cheers

RE: Royal wedding in UK

Ah don't ya just hate when the bar closes......Unlike RDM legs LOL....uh oh uh oh grin cheers

RE: pics of Friday nights meet up....

It was fun R .....I think the ladies enjoyed the day today. We had a wee tour around the Burrell and the Braes were good even saw "MA WEE HOOSE " just on the edge of the Braes on the south side of an unusually sunny Glasgow ....Nice shots R of the Loch and the hills....grin cheers

RE: pics of Friday nights meet up....

Would that have been a cup of Tennants wink cheers cheers

RE: pics of Friday nights meet up....

Mischief ????? ME never wink angel angel

RE: pics of Friday nights meet up....

Close Boom close ....thank God for the Sporran LMAO

RE: pics of Friday nights meet up....

You are alright Boom I had to drive on Saturday LOL....The crazy gang all up to Loch Lomond...We spent today at the Burrell and even went up to Cathkin Braes great view ll over Glasgow and we could see Ben Lomond and the hills clearly today....And yep I did sneak away at 2ish on Friday .....Well I was up and out by 8...Not a bad weekend folks thank you all for coming along....Sunnydaze and the others are not online at the moment ....So we can tell all the gossip about them for a bit wink grin cheers

RE: Threads

rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing

Specsavershelp grin cheers

RE: Threads

Ah sorry been a tad on the busy side.....grin cheers

April 29-30- CS GET TOGETHER IN GLASGOW SCOTLAND

See you folks tonight......And the sun is coming out.....No need for ................Draughtywink


dancing dancing grin cheers

A FEW SHORT ........

As it's no longer politically correct to direct a joke at any racial or ethnic minority, so try this one:



An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman, a Gurkha, a Latvian, a Turk, an Aussie, a German, a Yank, an Egyptian, a Jap, a Mexican, a Spaniard, a Russian, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Swede, a Finn, an Israeli, a Romanian, a Bulgarian, a Serb, a Swiss, a Greek, a Singaporean, an Italian, a Norwegian, a Libyan, a Muslim, a Hindu, a Buddhist and an African went to a night club.


The bouncer said, "Sorry, I can’t let you in without a Thai."

Went down this morning to sign on my Dog.
The woman said, "Dogs are not eligible to draw benefit".
I explained to her that my Dog is black, unemployed, idle, can't speak English and has no clue who his dad is.
She looked in her policy book to see what it takes to qualify.
He gets his first cheque on Friday.
Damn this is a great country.



I was thrown out of Starbucks yesterday for trying to be politically correct.
Apparently a black coffee cannot be referred to as an African Americano.

Little boy crying in the market, man says "are you lost?" boy says "yes" man says "whats your mummy like?"





boy says "big willies and Bacardi breezers!"


grin cheers

April 29-30- CS GET TOGETHER IN GLASGOW SCOTLAND

Welcome to Glasgow Jean.....See you tomorrow .....grin cheers

April 29-30- CS GET TOGETHER IN GLASGOW SCOTLAND

Just got back from confirming Fiday's venue. All is good. So Kilt ready and a shock as you lot will see tomorrow ......grin cheers

April 29-30- CS GET TOGETHER IN GLASGOW SCOTLAND

I made the same mistake LMAO Still we can have fun...

RE: A Cup of Tea and a Big Slice of Moan Cake, Please...

He has a standing what????????????blushing blushing









grin cheers

RE: A Cup of Tea and a Big Slice of Moan Cake, Please...

Can't see the sense in moaning as .......


My life is an endless struggle against Maturity.


And the thought of the wind whistling up my Kilt on Friday might just give me a reason to moan thoughmumbling mumbling



grin cheers

RE: Blah BLah BLAH . . .

God do I make mistakes at times.....

When having a shower earlier she called up, let me know when your finished and I'll lick you dry.
sod that I thought it'll take ages, and used the towel instead.


mumbling doh doh grin grin

Did anyone have a good time at a C S meeting....

I reckon around the end of September would be good for a Spanish bash. The end of the season for most and the fares etc drop a lot...I would go just to see that "pongo git " Steve....grin cheers

Did anyone have a good time at a C S meeting....

I meant to say I met Ginge a couple of times lovely lass. Great person to talk to on so many levels and subjects....Oh and Skinnyminnie and a few of the Irish lads as well a good weekend....Shme there is not another Spanish one maybe at the end of the summer.....grin cheers

Did anyone have a good time at a C S meeting....

Oh I know that ......Mind you she made a good job of talking to Gordon wink

grin cheers

Did anyone have a good time at a C S meeting....

I only hope a decent sized PACK turns up wink grin cheers

Did anyone have a good time at a C S meeting....

Too bloody true rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing


grin cheers

Did anyone have a good time at a C S meeting....

Two Coffees ??????????????

cheers grin cheers

Did anyone have a good time at a C S meeting....

Yep Vinny, shame you will miss the Glasgow bash.....Still I might just might have a wee Malt or two for you....grin cheers

That is after I do my duty Chauffeur bit for folk on Friday.....grin cheers

Did anyone have a good time at a C S meeting....

Let's have a happy positive thread folks.

Have any of you had a good laugh or formed friendships at any of the C S meets you attended.

Or have you had fun meeting folk from here?

I know all the folk who were in Spain this time last year had a great time even with all the troubles the had with the Volcano....grin cheers

April 29-30- CS GET TOGETHER IN GLASGOW SCOTLAND

Did you meet my old Mum then ???wink grin cheers

April 29-30- CS GET TOGETHER IN GLASGOW SCOTLAND

Yep and as a bonus you go right though the RED LIGHT AREA wink grin cheers cheers

RE: Which one is Considered honest ,decent and Loving Nation in the world?

G
L
A
S
G
O
W


cheers cheers cheers cheers peace peace

RE: Vinny? Birthday?

danceline danceline happy birthday happy birthday shimmy shimmy shimmy remember when the ladies did that for you...cheers cheers cheers cheers cheers

This is a list of forum posts created by patmac.

We use cookies to ensure that you have the best experience possible on our website. Read Our Privacy Policy Here