Altair813 Poetry (4)

When you walked in the door
I saw it
The soul of an Angel
In those deep blue eyes

In my angry life
I had never felt at peace
Except those few hours a week
When we played music together

You were violin
I was Viola
Your sweet lilting notes
dancing over my deep rhythm

My life changed that day
It has been Hell ever since
I saw a perfect creation
From the bottom of my deep, dark, hole

We sat just feet from each other
But the distance was too far
My teenage mortal grasp
Was weak

In the years since I last saw you
You've been in my thoughts
Sometimes good, sometimes bad
Every moment I breathe

I cursed the heavens
I cursed at God
Why was I the only one who could see it?
Why was I not allowed to have?

I tried to move on
I tried a different life
On Earth you are my dream
In heaven you are my wife

I search for you
I get no replies
I named my daughter after you
because I need a Haley in my life

I'm at the bottom
I can go no further
I look up at the light
It is fading fast

Here I lay
Unable to move
My eyes don't adjust to the Dark
It is cold and oppressing

This is my mind
My body functions normally
Everything and everyone I see
I am not allowed

God is punishing me
For something I did
What is my offense?
I get no answer

There is no reprieve
There is no appeal
There is only pain
There is only darkness

There is one way
There is no hope
I will be crushed
I will have to surrender

One quick cut
One quick shot
One quick fall
Is this the end of it all?

My young ears hear the sound in the night
It is my first night
The rhythmic rush and pound
and the quiet churn surrounds me

The window, cracked open slightly
brings in the cold fume of the salty air
Each breath is soothing
and I fall asleep

No dreams
No worries
No cares
No pain

The sound carries me
as if I was afloat upon it
each swell denies the harsh realities
My body dips and peaks with the tide

I wake to the sun
the sound is still there
rhythmic pounds and churns
I only need to be quiet to listen at any time

There is a darkness inside of me
It wants to come out to play
I hold it back for the fleeting hope of love
The fleeting hope that dwindles

Are you out there my love?
Could we find each other in the darkness
let me hear you breathe in the darkness
Warm the cold, black, emptiness

Touch my hand
Reach into my soul
Light the small candle
That will take us away