I had 12 bottles of Te Bheag in my cellar and my wife told me to pour each and every one down the sink, or else!....

I said I would, and proceeded with the task. I withdrew the cork from the first bottle and poured the contents down the sink, with the exception of one glass, which I drank. I extracted the cork from the second bottle and did likewise with the exception of one glass, which I drank. I pulled the cork from the third bottle and poured the Te Bheag down the sink which I drank. I pulled the cork from the fourth bottle down the sink, and poured the Te Bheag down the glass which I drank. Then I pulled the bottle from the cork and drank one sink out of it, and threw the rest down the glass. I corked the sink out of the next glass and poured the cork down the bottle. I corked the sink with the glass, bottled the drink and drank the pour. Then I had everything emptied. I steadied the house with one hand and counted the glasses, corks and bottles with the other, which were 29, and as the house came by I counted them again and finally had all the houses in one bottle, which I drank.

I am not under the affluence of incohol as some tinkle peep I am. I am not half so thunk as you might drink I fool so feelish. I don't know who is me, and the drunker I stand here the longer I get.