Back from my weekend of love and lust, only there wasnt much lust on my side, funny how the first time you do it with someone new you think of the lighting ie candles, the perfume, the body cream, the lingerie, the music, the cleanliness, the use of razors. Everything has to be just right. If I am really interested in a man by day two, I repeat the whole scenario, kind of, if I am not into him I just dont care anymore, lights on, who cares about the hiding of rolls in sexy lingerie, music,...... bugger that, clean yep I had a wash yesterday, and who cares about stubble, get over it man ! I have to kiss you with a chin thats as scratchy as a brillo pad. Hurry up and get it over and done with so I can get back to some dodgy dating site to see if any other old dysfunctional guy with little prospects has winked at me within the last ten minutes.
What am I going on about here, oh yes my theme for today. What you cant see on cam. You can see a face on cam, unless he is willing to do a strip for you then much is hidden, I think the ladies might get the picture here. All men think they are great lovers, most men are not, you dont see that on cam. I was interracting with a man on cam for quite a while, he was a doctor so a bright prospect for me, even if he was Egyptian, Egyptian men are quite good lovers by the way, not many people know this, and thats the good thing i can say about them. Well my doctor had a long moustache, covering his mouth almost, which of course after we were married I had decided had to go,......... and when he laughed, he covered his mouth with his hand. I should have cottoned on, but how can you know ?? most ladies here are brighter than me I know, but I just did not imagine or think a doctor, even an egyptian one might not have any teeth. I met the guy............I went to meet him......what can I tell you next ?? it was another of those wishing the floor could swallow me up moments, but i learnt my lesson, I now ask for a recent full head xray . That sorts them out. Im not going to tell you what happenned after our meeting, well i might one day, because its actually quite funny.
You cant see if a man walks funny, you cant tell if hes the type who talks on top of you, how irritating is that , he asks you a question , you spurt out three words which leads him into another mind numbing story about his old auntie jessie and her cats ! In the end he says it was great to meet you and that you didnt talk much, well hell no I bloody well couldnt, I was being bored by you getting off by the sound of your own voice....you dont see that on cam do you. You dont see if he walks funny, if he is a stutterer. You cant tell if the picture of sunflowers in his background is a real van gogh or a fake can you ?
I am off for a weekend of lust passion moonlight candlelight firelight , walks on the beach , holding hands , you know the stuff. So I am writing my blog early .
I am praying it will be more successful than my last intimate encounter,
Let me tell you what grandma here has to face in search of a new grandpa. I made the long journey to meet a nice man , he had an interesting mind and was a psychiatrist. I saw him on cam and before i'd booked my ticket warning bells were clanging, but I thought give him a chance he might be alright, I went to Italy to meet Mr might be alright. He seemed so decent, so i agreed to stay at his flat, i know nothing shouts louder than im up for anything if you agree to do this. So there I was at the station, Mr might be alright, big cheesy grin shabby clothes and shoes too shabby for a rickshaw wallah. Oh and the usual few years older, few inches shorter. I was regretting having brought my platform shoes My sneakers would look funny with a party frock. Needless to say as Mr cheesy grin greeted me with the old lustful eye, oh and those were old spectacles as well , like the type you wear when you break your good ones, like the ones Elton wore when he was belting out crocodile rock, I prayed the train platform would swallow me up after the first cheek slobber. By the time I had got to the shabby car, I felt i'd taken a drug that allowed me to suck it up and accept the situation. Off we went me thinking , well he might be alright. I know the rules but Its the hope you see, this one just might be the one, The ensuing saga was typical of such a situation, and he was well organised. He had fluffy feathers, oils and you know that sticky stuff, oh yes lubricant, all kinds of interesting toys. Am I the first lady on this planet who ever did it for charity? I know you know wot i mean and I hope you get the full picture here...... IT WAS AWFUL. And before you all start bawling well why did you stay? I just felt sorry for the guy ok ! The lesson is here , but there is more. Have you ever felt like crying for someone because they look so awful naked, or because you just did it with them and how you could sink so low? The type with the pot belly that spills out the sides, the one that has you wondering how they can find whats under it , with a pasty white bum. Hair out the nose and ears.....It got worse, he suffered from sleep apnoea, so had a breathing machine to keep him alive at night while he slept. Go on have a good laugh , I could not sleep with this gurgling machine strapped to this mans face. I began to cry I Then guess what........ I stayed, thinking he might grow on me, But he didn't grow on me, because then he got kinky, he liked dirty talk, but not your normal dirty talk, he wanted details of former s*xual encounters, is that kinky or am i just old fashioned ? Why couldn't he make up his own dirty talk material, because what I did before is mostly stuff I would rather forget, because theres nothing exciting to rememeber. Except for a few rare occasions that is , which I am sharing with no one, because they are impressioned on my heart with love and respect for the sheer artistry dedication and care from the men involved. ...back to reality granny, your there with a 66 year old ( who was 60 on the profile, and a few inches shorter , who sleeps with a gurgling machine with a pot belly and a little ........
A situation so typical of internet dating . where you don't get what you imagined you would.I had been attracted to his brain,he was polite funny intelligent and had done stuff, the yacht and nice house on profile pics were gone of course. He politely told me he had a meeting to attend and had to leave , god I was greatful, this was followed by an email days later that he felt he was still in love with his old girlfriend, and that i was not his physical type, although he found me quite sexy and attractive. I wondered what his physical type might be . The mind boggles.
Some people can be lucky on the net and find love easily, true love I am talking about. Like in the case of my daughter, who four years ago was winked at by a man and two months later married to him, he was tall ,dark and handsome and the genuine thing. Well educated, from a good family knew exactly what he wanted, offered stability, was reliable, didn't have a murky past was daddy material they are still happy two babies later and everyone should know that true love can be found on the net.
BUT, what about me ???? Difference is daughter was 24 and I am 56. Thats where the trouble lies. Now ladies, I would be interested to know if its possible to have such instantaneous success in attraction as in the case of my own lovely daughter, who by the way is a product of me , I taught her all she knows!, hang on no I didn't! Well the thing I am going on about today is why it is so difficult for us older gals to get someone nice in our lives. Whats the secret where is the key? is there a key?
I have met men, oh sooooo many men. There was a time I was meeting them for breakfast lunch and dinner, I was getting fat from meeting men. I even went out with two in one evening for dinner , well of course i'd forgotten about the second date till he reminded me, try paddling through those murky waters in an evening , oh thats another story. So no one can say I wasn't out there trying hard. Then I was getting funny looks from the bar staff at my local/s. I was getting the " hey old lady , we know what your up to " look. Things had to change, I was out there entertaining too many duds, men who were 5 ft 11 on the profile and 5 ft 5 up at the bar, men who were 50 on the profile and 65 at happy hour. What is that ? and why do so many men lie about their age? Why do old men lie about their age ? So when a gentleman lies about his age , it becomes difficult to imagine anything else is true as well. I mean seeking long term relationship ??? could be seeking short term relationship couldn't it? if he's only 5 ft 5 when he said he was 5 ft 11 , anything could be the go here. I asked one once why did he lie, well i ask them all why they lie, and they often say well if i said i was 70 then you would not meet me would you,,,,,I say , yes and now i can see you were 55 many long hard years ago, what makes you think I will be interested now, I mean truly, will you be thinking this old chook is going to be letting you get your leg over any time soon here , I don't think so grandpa ! So why do they waste their time, then walk away dissolusioned with women. I don't lie about my age, maybe my weight has fluctuated with my profile admission a little. yes a little.......ten kilos is a little isn't it?
Funny how height is the main thing to lie about, its because men need to be taller isn't it , well in most ladies worlds thats the case, thats why we don't see most ladies taller than their men isn't it. Thats the natural way of things . So why dont short men just go and get shorter ladies, plenty of lovely petites out there looking for love, and would look really cute beside a gent of 5 ft 5. I am 5 ft 5 with heels on possibly 5 ft 8, no offense guys, but a lady needs a man taller than her it just makes her feel better. If you are 70, just suck it up , there might be a really cool well kept 70 year old granny out there who is as cute as a button who could turn your world, i know it i have such a friend, who is constantly rejected by 70 year old men cos they think she is too old, hell man , she is alive nimble and fit, travels the world and there is not a blood pressure or hormone replacement pill in sight. Stop dreaming thats all I want to say today. More tomorrow.
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