I met
1. mr player a sweddish guy he ask me for a date of course i become excited that time he is my first date so we met to a public place and decided to go to his pad he kiss me yes he is my first kiss and everything until i found my self on his arms after what happen i felt it was a night mare i was tense and still shaking i feel gross that time i never knew that all that i keep in 21years lost in just one night. he never contact me after that. Almost one week i feel i was going crazy and shock to what happen..
Few mos later i met
2. mr. Selfish a german guy
he is nice sweet we had a relationship in a short period of time almost 4mos.i fall inlove with him but he told me he is not ready for commitment and he told me he realized things will not work for both of us i think he is jut making excuses after he get what he want
he told me he dont love me but he do care i feel in second time around i was play again he dont love me but we almost like gf and bf
still it was hurts i feel they used me and play with me...
And third time
mr. Almost.
He is u.s guy a lawyer from california, he is so nice, sweet and i feel he is the right one since i was paranoid to my previous experience i always doubt him so one day i ask my friend to help to find out if this guy is faithful my friend pretend someone and try to seduce this guy but he told to my friend he has a gf my friend ask who is this girl and how old. He give a wrong answer so my friend told me this guy is lying.
i confront him he told me he knew he was tested and he blame me he told me i play an immature game we dont have a contact he told me he will found someone matture than me. I was totally hurt, i wonder know reason why he lie if he knew he was testing, he should be proud to telling the truth .
I still remember him he told me he will never let me go cos i am the best things happen to him but i wonder where is he? Why he did not give me a second chance if he really love me.. i just do that because i want to make sure this time i found the right one but i was wrong, its hard for me to let him go indeed but i need to say goodbye..
No one knows how much i hurt, still i treasured the good things i shared from them ..though i know the fact they used me.
oneday im hoping this scars will be heal but im hoping i learn my lesson well think wiser not to the point i will become bitter and untrusting toward others
above all
-Im not a bar girl Im a decent girl and im not the type of kind of girl looking for money or green card... So what if they are all foreigners...
You dont know the real story behind my blog so stop accusing bad about filipina women!
"Everday I go so fast, talking endlessly about the past , thinking too much about tomorrow not taking the time to listen to my heartbeat ,breathing in fresh air without a care to rest a moment to feel your love around me so staring up at the sky marvelling at all you've made for to me to see yet i don't take time to taste my tears when i'm cry or to realized the hope you given me so often the moment passes me by its over before i knew it i forgot to dance in the rain , to learn from my pain to remember i won't be here for ever so i have to treasure evey second i am alived.
-by laurren corners
this poem made me realized everything
Im doing this blog not because i'm going to commit suicide. Lol... Sometimes i can think wiser than anyone or fool, nutts whatever you call it lol.. This past few days i always complained to everything instead to be thankful to what i have. This past few weeks i feel tired to everything even though i don't do anything ,i feel the emptiness with in. I forgot to think on a positive side. 1. I realized that everyone should not have regrets because to your mistake you will learn from it.
2. I realized that instead of complaining to everything its better to be thankful to what you have.
3. I realized instead to find mr. Right its better not to put pressure in my life( If something meant to be it will meant to be no matter what.
4.I realized instead to focus on a negative energy it's better to focus on a positive side.
5.I realized intead of comparing my life to others its better to think i have no idea what journey is all about.
6.I realized not all you want you can get because you only get what you're most needed.
8. I realized life is a test a trust and temporarily assignment.
9. I realized its better to live like it's your last day
10. I realized you have two choices in your life to have a good mood or bad mood.
11. I realized not all your prayers will be answer
12. I realized i should not look for someone else.
13. I realized that sometimes you need to let go. To accept everything that comes to your way.
14.I realized that i have a pretty face and a wonderful smile but its useless because mr. Barhopping did nt like me lol(oh i forgot i need to be positive ok i realized i am pretty and i deserve somone BETTER rather than to mr. Bar hopping haha).
I realized this blog is too long to realized lol
out of reach so far i never had his heart out of reach couldn't see we will never meant to be! Huhu thats songs sinks me in.
i can't see someone like him no not to the way he do i admit im very attractive to his physical appearance and ican't see someone better to him when it comes to look will i ever see a better looks to him one day i wish ... Lol... I will miss him forever we will not see each other forever bye bye huhuhu how could i forget his looks his voice huhu i wish one day i have amnesia to forget everything about him it hurts to see him to other girls.i can't find someone better to him.
I have not met mr right. Yet i met mr. Bar hopping mr.rude mr.demanding mr. Women bashing mr. Arrogant mr. and mr. Choosy, I wondering why i don't still have a bf despite the fact that im pretty, sexy educated yes im finished my bachelor degree in college i already have a licensed and i work in a medical field im not ugly. What else guy look for a girl like me. I join few site of dating but i realized i don't get anything to those site i just wasting my time to all cheaters and liars men. I want to meet a real person in real life not on chatting or online.
my ideal guy before is a foreigner american guy who is goodlooking , young, has a career but i realized it was stupid idea to have a relationship to them i change my personal view When i met a guy that i thought he was mr. Right. Because #1.he do a bar hopping he want to get a bar girl those cheap girls rather than a decent women. I wondering why most of foreigner like him choose to waste there money and time to do a bar hopping to get a cheap girls. In the first place the only thing they can get is sexually transmitted diseased. A pick up girl don't love them as they are . They love a foreigner because of money. That was the sad reality to the philippines. 2nd. he think to a filipina that he can get what he want if the price is right. Yes.. I encounter him and he want to pay me just to meet him. im a priceless. I don't care to his money all i need is a one guy who can treat me the way i wanted.
3rd. He do a blog to the philippines to all bargirls he used and he made a video for those girls .. It hurts i don't know why im hurting everytime i will know everynight he have a one night stand to a bar girl it hurts he was proud to his self to do a bar hopping and get a bar girls. It hurts becaused i care for him.
I ask sign to god if he is mr right that im waiting for so long and god answer me but i dont know im soo tired to him if were really destined to each other we will meet no matter what happen. Im soo tired to him because he was too proud to his self to do a bar hopping get a pick up girls . He just wasting his money his time to those pick up girls. He just ruin his life i wondering why he need to do this. Im here he dont need to ruin his life to those things. But we're too far too each other i let him go.. I believed to a quotes if u love something let it go if it come back to u its yours if it doesnt it never was. I guess all i need is acceptance that i can never him in my life because he left he choose to do a barhopping and pick up girls.
but Why... some guys want to take it away from me.. they want to have a one night stand.. they ready to pay a money .. but i'm not the type of girl could be easy to get .. im still innocent.. u can't blame me why i don't trust most of men. most of men are very selfish they like to get what they want , very demanding... this past few weeks I'm interested to a guy i thought he is the one I'm looking for but he's annoying, very demanding he told i need to go to his pad to take a couple of drinks and then i told him why i'm supposed to go to his pad.. if he is serious about me he'll be the one who go to my placed. he's the guy he must proved some effort to me.... very sad fact most of guys I've encounter is like him Demanding and a player.. is it wrong to be sincere ? to look for true love.? I'm just an innocent girl who look for mr. right.. well thats love most of the time it hurts.. if you love something let it go. if its comes back to you it's yours if it doesn't then it never was...
One of my friend call me "man hater" because I dont have a bf.
If i dont like a guy. I tell them. Im outspoken i tell what i want.. When i see guy flirting me or show some motives. I frankly say: sori Im not interested. I dunno why. Usually some of girls happy when they know someone interested to them. But me. Im irritated when i see guy or if someone interested to me. I find it they are not sincere. They are just arrogant thinking all girls are easy to get. When they get it what they want to a girl they go away.
One of my friend told me. Why dont u try to have flirt with a guy. I sigh and told Im waiting for mr. Right. Then she ask me. When he will come? I smile back to her and said. I have faith there still a guy who is sincere and know what true love is all about. When i met him i will know he is the one im looking for. She asked again, But what if u will met him.. But that guy cant love u in return. I look her into his eyes. And said im not expecting anymore or anything to a guy it will hurt u more and it will end up to nothing
Should you despair over a relationship gone. Think of the person who has never known what its like to love and be love in return(think of me lol).
Should you have a bad day at work?. Think of the man has been out of work for years.
Should you complain for sitting in your office in a whole day?. Think the bedridden who would love the opportunity to seat.
Should your car break down leaving you miles away from assistance.? think of a paraplegic who would love the opportunity to take that walk.
Should you notice a new gray hair in mirror? Think of the cancer patient in chemo. Who wish had hair to examine.
Should you find yourself at a loss and wonderingwhat is life is all about asking what is your purpose? Be thankful there are those who did not live long enough to get the opportunity.
Should you find yourself feeling of hopeless.
Think of a cancer patient who will never lose hope.
Are you tired of working in your office. Think of a person who are unemployed that want to get a job in ur company.
Are u still complaining what happen to your life.Come to think of it...
An Just think and you will appreciate each day is blessing no matter how big or small it is.
each of us has two choices one who make the will of god or one who make his own will. I believed if it is not meant to be happen.. It will never be yours or will never be have.
all my life I easily gave trust for some one I dont know... Atleast I learn my lesson well.. Or maybe im expecting too much to that person. I really dont know now a days who is real and who is not.
I can't understand why most of men still have another one despite the fact they already have a faithful, loving ang caring girlfriend/wife. I observed this.
The big question is WHY
Is it because They are not satisfied?
is it because they are looking for fun?
is it because they are JUST MAN and its natural for them to do that.
Is it because they are not happy.
Is it because the are doing this because of lust.
Is it because they found themselves falling inlove to other
is it because of temptation.
And I can't understand also why most of girls too despite the fact they are cheating of there husband or boyfriend.they still want a relationship to that person
they always said and i always hear.
"I still love him"
"i can do everything to him"
"i can't live without him".
Is it called love and sacrifices??
I don't think so.
The big question is WHY
i said MOST not AT ALL WOMEN AND MEN ..
I WONDER WHY
as i always said and always believed its easy to be happy when you are contented to what you have because you are not asking or looking for more because you are CONTENTED right? anyway everyone of us has choices its up to all couple and person ..
Its just like this a person is blind because "today is a beautiful day but she/he cannot see... That person is blind, its a double meaning Did you get it??I Hope so.. I will further explain this . Dont get offend I just observed this though i don't have experience
today is my birthday but nothing special no one remember.... no one greet me , kiss or hug me.feel no one loves me.. ouch... no one....
tomorrow is my birthday.... lately I am not always online here I dont know the latest... can u pls give your email address so I can add u to facebook... grr thanks.. have a lot to say but its limited...
Cardiomegaly Blog (17)