Homelessness is the condition of people without a regular dwelling. People who are homeless are most often unable to acquire and maintain regular, safe, secure and adequate housing, or lack "fixed, regular, and adequate night-time residence."
We've all seen them. They sit on the highway intersections with signs that say, "Homeless, hungry, please help! God bless!" They lie asleep in the doorway of businesses and on park benches.
Some are schizophrenic, traumatized, and brain damaged. Several of these have served our country. Many with drug and alcohol problems requiring medical help.
One of the main causes is that a lot of people can't afford a place to live. They don't have enough money to pay rent, even for the cheapest dives available.
There is also this attitude about poor people like somehow they brought this upon themselves by not behaving right. This is so wrong!
Who are you to judge? One look at their sorrow and judgment is already decided in your heart. It scares you. You don't understand it. You are afraid to face it.
I know how it feels to be judged. I can pick up the phone and request assistance from any government agency, church, or friends and then be handed an immediate dismissal just because you don't know me and do not care.
I am not one of those people who can just go to some shelter and look for work and never get back on their feet. I am a woman with belongings and pets. I have food, clothing, appliances, and everything that I have paid for or was given. I have a life even if it is not the one that I want at the present moment.
I have a disability with a court date that isn't going to come soon enough. The place that I am staying at is no longer tolerable and I am being thrown out.
I have never caused anyone harm. I don't do drugs and I don't drink. I had a church home for the past two years but they have their own families and problems to think about.
I have no transportation, no friends due to distance, and no family. Would you take me in? Be truthful. Probably not.
A person should not have to prove they are ready or worthy. They should not have to earn a living after all attempts have been made and failed.
Is this what the world has come to? We are the ones that should be ashamed and hide our heads in embarrassment. I am.
Valentines day is tomorrow...
Which means there will be a lot of men in the doghouse after they screw it up...
But that won't happen for the men reading this...
Because I'm gonna' show you the BIG mistake men make on a day like Valentine's day.
Ready?
First, there's a fundamental difference in the way men and women think about things like Valentine's day or their birthdays...
If your wife woke up on the morning of your birthday, and said "today we're going to do whatever you want. We'll go anywhere you want and do whatever you want. You just say it, and we'll do it", most guys would love that...
But say that same thing to your wife, and she'll hate the idea.
Why?
Because she doesn't want to make decisions.
There's no fun, surprise or romance in that.
Making decisions is a very masculine thing to do.
What she really wants is for you to handle everything, so that she can relax and surrender and be her full feminine self.
For example...
Let's say on the morning of your wife's birthday, you tell your wife "You have 30 minutes to pack your bags. We're going away for the weekend. I can't tell you any details, just be ready in 30 minutes"
THAT is the kind of birthday celebration that women go crazy about. Your wife would be glowing if you did something like that...
Now here's the point I want you to take away for Valentine's day tomorrow...
You don't have to make some grand gesture and whisk your wife away for a few days...
But adding an element of mystery to the day, and having everything planned out already is the kind of thing that women LOVE.
She wants to know that you're in control.
She wants to know that everything is being handled, and that she can just be herself and go along for the ride.
There will be millions of men tomorrow making the deadly mistake of asking their wife "what do you want to do?"
My advice?
Make sure you're not one of those guys!
God Bless!
Is this person kind, and growing in kindness? How do they treat their friends or family? How do they treat “everyday” people who they don’t need to impress: restaurant servers, cashiers, etc.? These are telling indicators of kindness. How do they handle anger? Are they able to express anger appropriately? Can they talk about frustrations, or do they stuff feelings? Does their room have punch holes in the wall? Do they know the difference between healthy and unhealthy anger? How do they handle conflict? Do they need to be right, even if it’s at the expense of the relationship? It’s possible to be right about an issue but still handle it in the wrong way. So date someone who knows how to apologize. Is this person aware of (and patient with) weakness? We all have pressure points and weaknesses that rub against others. This calls for patience and grace with ourselves and one another. Is this someone I can work alongside? Once all the initial euphoria subsides, the question is whether this is someone alongside whom you can do the regular tasks of life: Can you still be a good friend to others? Is this someone with whom you can enjoy a healthy “normal”: doing laundry, planning your year, working at your job? Are they trustworthy? Are they faithful to do what they say, to keep a confidence? Is their yes ‘yes’, and their no ‘no’? Are they faithful with their (and your) sexuality? Dating is a terrible time to test s*xual compatibility since great sex has little to do with biology and so much to do with established intimacy in other areas: something increased by trust and time. Do they say thank you? Do they practice thankfulness in small and big ways? Do they know who they are and whose they are? Knowing that our identity is found in being unconditionally loved by God is the foundation for healthy love relationships with people. No person, no matter how wonderful, can fill the deep need we have to find our identity in being loved. This is a God-shaped hole in our hearts, and we need to be people and date people who let God fill the God-shaped hole. Is this a person with whom I can grow in my faith? So ask: Is this someone with whom God’s Word has a place between us, and with whom I can share God’s wisdom and encouragement? Great marriages are made of the same stuff that dating relationships and friendships are made of. This means that the popular advice on “getting a girl” and “finding a guy” which focuses on fine tuning your appearance and social etiquette really doesn’t get to the heart of the matter. Being smaller, bigger, more ripped, bustier, more confident (or whatever it is you feel you need to make yourself more attractive) has little or no correlation to actual dating success, which is about figuring out whether you could really live life with this person. Ultimately, we marry someone to live with them, not to go to parties or look good in Instagram vacation shots. Dating well means dating someone who is becoming a person you trust and respect. It means discovering more about yourself so you can become such a person yourself. It has nothing to do with someone’s résumé, BMI, GPA, 401(k), or their hotness score; it has everything to do with discovering one another’s character, even as you’re developing your own. So, maybe it’s time to call it quits on that relationship you’ve been in for a while, because it's not showing the signs of character growth in both of you. Or perhaps it’s time to consider dating with a bit more of an open mind. Even if you don’t know where this will ultimately go, why not see if you can be friends and take it from there? The better we are at relationships in general, the better our dating, and ultimately our marriages will be. There is no secret ingredient to a perfect marriage. It’s the stuff we already know and appreciate about others—the tools we already use for finding good friends and reliable roommates—that we need to put into practice.
Be kind, be generous, and date.
I have been in several bad relationships since childhood. There are things that aren't taught to you in school to warn you of these situations. You are told to believe and trust your parents, even though they might be the very ones that are harming you.
As an adult, I have been exposed to people and situations that I never dreamed of nor knew about. There are a lot of sick people in this world, and it is hard to know that until years later. I have come to learn about homeless people who were drug addicts, and didn't want a real home.
I found out about alcoholics the hard way. Even people who only drank socially or had two drinks in their own home can become violent. There are those who are also controlling. You are told how to dress, what you can and can't do, where to go, that their opinion is the only one that counts, or that they are somehow better than you.
There are people who will take advantage of you as a friend, and take everything you have when you least expect it. I have also learned that if you desire someone when you are desperately lonely, you can still be lonely because they weren't the right one for you and it becomes even worse!
When you think you've had enough, the bottom will fall out, and then you will panic and want to die. In that moment, you are truly suffering. It is like dying. You want to scream, throw something, panic, get swallowed up in the ground, runaway, get revenge, vomit, take your own life, and cry till you are sick and have a really bad headache. Truthfully, it will last for several hours. After that, you have decisions to make. You know what they are.
My advice...try to have a plan before it gets as bad as I’ve described. Even if you only can take one step at a time or one step a day. Any action is better than none. Find a church, a group, caring friends, anyone that can help you in at least one way. I don't mean moving from the frying pan into another fire! Look on the Internet for help.
Try the Salvation Army and 211 Helpline. They usually have resources to help and can refer you to. Even if you called the Battered Women's Hotline, they have resources as well. It also helps to just talk it out with a professional over the phone.
If you are around an alcoholic, try not to get them riled up. Leave the room, the house or the relationship, whatever it takes to stay out of the way.
It is always wise to pick your battles. If your words are going to get you thrown out, bite your lip, leave the room, get some air, calm down, and don't get into it. Close the bathroom door and cry if you have to. My best advice for all of the above situations is to not make any more unwise choices.
In the meantime, chin up, take one day at a time, breathe, and make some sort of action plan if you can. Hide money or valuables, or open a bank account. Get on food stamps. Go to the food pantries in your city. Go to different churches to see what they can help with.
Last, but not least, write about it. Just write your feelings down on paper. Anything and everything that you are feeling. It helps not to be carrying all of those burdens around on your shoulders every day. Each day has enough of its own troubles. Deal with that day only. Be brave and don't let them destroy you!
You are worthy and important, and maybe you don't feel that way, or see it, but one day, you will have something to hope for and improve upon.
I still have my life to look forward to whenever I am able to claim it. I have dreams, goals, wishes, and wants. I have suffered for years, and gone without, but I will keep trying until I am dead and buried. That is why they call it “life.”
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