Good day CS.
This week, I went on a dinner date with a guy. He invited me to his place so we could better talk because its more private and all, I didn't agree. I told him its better that we take time to get to know each other first and for us to take time to have trust before anything more intimate. And also that I wanted to take things slow. He agreed after trying to convince me otherwise the whole time we were at the restaurant.
The next day, he messaged and me to set up a second date. I agreed to meet him after 3 days. I thought, ok this seems promising. The day before the said date, i asked him what the plan was. He then told me, we will stay at his place, watch a movie, and eat something special he'll cook. I reminded him that he agreed to take things slow and that Im still not comfortable going to his place. I suggested it would be better if we go somewhere or do activities like movies or atv riding at red sand. He didn't want those, given the strict laws of saudi about male and female segregation. ( Its always a good card to play for men here, especially when they want to take the girl to his house and make it look like that's the only choice. I understand that some mean it because its truth. But I just can't reconcile it with my consciousness, since Ive been on dates before and nothing happened.) So anyway, we had a discussion where I was trying to reason out with him where I said "oh, I forgot you didn't have a car. It would be difficult to go places together on uber." ( in my mind, usually uber drivers are saudis and they could report us to police and we'd both be in jail.) But after I made that remark, he became distant suddenly.
He didn't message me the whole day next day. And yesterday he messaged me" Hello gold digger" I was so mad I couldn't just brush it off. We went on an argument where I called him a lying AH because he made me believe he was looking for something serious, but when sex was not on the table he disappeared, and he called me a gold digger and Cold because I pointed out out he didn't have a car.
Needless to say I was disappointed because I thought that we had potential.. But what good is potential when its with promised on deceit?
Such a waste of time. At least I had a great burger.
Hello everyone. Long time no see. Hope you all are doing ok in this world craziness. Please stay healthy and safe all.
Anyway, in Riyadh still keeping the working hours. No matter how I wish to stay home to get some rest, I cannot. I was supposed to go home, but lockdown kept me here, so after my 2-year contract, I'm here and can't move. I am not complaining. Im am very grateful that I still have a job and get paid at the end of the month. However, I'm so freakin tired! I wish to have even just 2 weeks of rest straight..
But I'm ok. Thank God for keeping me healthy and safe althroughout this debacle so far.
Just ranting for a bit guys. Thanks for understanding.
How are you all?
A long time ago, when I was having a difficulty geeting a proper job as Nurse in the Philippines, and we were in dire financial struggle, I told God that if need be, I would trade my happy ever after for a chance to be able to provide for my family's needs.
I wasn't being self important by thinking that somehow my voluntary suffering will alleviate the suffering of others. It wasn't about that. But at that time, I was ready to forego my own happiness for something else without fully knowing the consequences. Or how lonely its going to be. And now it seems like God taking it seriously! Oh No! I hope He isnt.
I wonder where my happy ever after is.
(A childish thought for tonight. Nothing too deep. )
So... I just talked to my ex whom I've been very close friends with now. We did some catching up and he told me that he took off his dating app profile and deleted the app completely. Because finally he has decided to give his relationship with his girlfriend of 8 years, his first girlfriend a last try.
I am happy for the girl and for him, but Im a little bit jealous that after all that he's been through, and everyone he's found, he went back and chose that girl.
Maybe because that girl waited and hoped and been patient with him all this time. For whatever reason he has, I have wished to have one day someone choose me too. That someone no matter how difficult Ive been choose me over anyone.
What a heavy feeling for a wonderful Sunday!
Blessed Sunday everyone!
I was 25 when I opened up myself for a romantic relationship. My friends said that it wasn't even real because it was online. We met and carry our relationship online without meeting up in person. To me it was real, i meant every word and everything I did for our relationship. However, we still separated after 4 years.
Moving on, I got lonely, and even when its dangerous and there's too much prejudice attached to a filipina dating in Saudi Arabia, I did it for my loneliness. And because I can bend some rules at my own risk.
After numerous dates though, mostly meeting the guys once, some twice and 2 a few months and 1 labeled relationship, I realized the men (non saudis, expats like me) won't look for anything more than casual. It broke my heart more than the breakup with my boyfriend for 4 years.
So yeah, i don't know if its better for me to take myself back online, or continue dating men without a hope for future. Or stop all the effort and just wait for God's perfect time.
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