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Favourite Bible Recipes

Forty Day Moussaka

A tasty dish to sustain a large family on a long wet sea voyage.

And God said unto Noah, take thee into the ark two extra sheep sheep sheep and a large oven proof dish, three cubits in length, two cubits in width, and about half a cubit in depth.

Make thee a shopping list, and send forth Mrs. Noah to the shops that she may assemble the ingredients to maketh a mighty dish of proportions sufficient to feed thee and thy kin for the duration of a lengthy deluge.

And Mrs. Noah took the list and brought back into the ark a multitude of ingredients; making three separate trips to the shops.

And God said unto Mrs. Noah, make thee a Moussaka, and this is the fashion which thou shalt make it of:

First, thou must mince the flesh of two lambs sheep sheep , which thou will put into a large heavy-based frying pan, along with onion, smote garlic, mint, bay leaf and cinnamon, whereupon thou must cook over a medium heat for ten minutes.

Next must thou stir in thy flour; then thy wine, tomatoes and tomato puree; simmer thee this mix for thirty minutes and set aside.

And Mrs. Noah did according unto all that the Lord commanded her.

And God commanded that Mrs. Noah slice her Aubergines and fry them three minutes on each side, and afterwards to place them on kitchen paper to drain, and God saw that they were good.

And the Lord said unto Mrs. Noah, because I am a merciful God, I will not require that thou makest thy own bechamel sauce, but behold, I will furnish thee with one I made earlier, as bechamel sauce be verily beyond thy talents.

And God decreed that a third of the meat sauce be spooned into the three by two cubit dish, followed by a layer of sliced aubergine, and nicely topped off with the Lord’s own bechamel sauce.

For yet 35-45 minutes at gas mark 6 must thou bakest thy dish, forgetting not to sprinkle with fresh Parmesan.

Serve with freshly baked ciabatta, and olive oil for dipping. drinking



Next week’s dish will be the Recipe for Lasagne according to St. Matthew.
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Here today, gone tomorrow.

I don't think I need elaborate on that. smile sad
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8 reasons why I don’t drive like a real man.

1. If I’m asked how long it took me to drive from A to B, I don’t deduct 20% off the journey time before I give my answer.

2. If another driver makes a mistake, causing me to brake in order to avoid colliding with them, I don’t tend to press my horn for ten seconds, start waving my arms about, or yell out every obscenity I know.

3. I don’t make excuses for the fact that I didn’t pass my driving test on the first attempt.

4. If I am late in identifying my exit from a roundabout, or find that I am in the wrong lane, I usually just go round it again, rather than veer across the path of those who are not in the wrong lane.

5. Despite driving for a living for most of my working life, I make no claim to be particularly good at it.

6. I don’t know what a Lamborghini looks like, and although I can tell a BMW by its grill, I wouldn’t have a clue what model it was.

7. I would never ever consider having a personalised number plate. I can live with not being a real man if it comes at the price of being a proper wanker.

8. On the three occasions I have been fined for speeding, I didn’t complain about it with pride.
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