8 reasons why I don’t drive like a real man.

1. If I’m asked how long it took me to drive from A to B, I don’t deduct 20% off the journey time before I give my answer.

2. If another driver makes a mistake, causing me to brake in order to avoid colliding with them, I don’t tend to press my horn for ten seconds, start waving my arms about, or yell out every obscenity I know.

3. I don’t make excuses for the fact that I didn’t pass my driving test on the first attempt.

4. If I am late in identifying my exit from a roundabout, or find that I am in the wrong lane, I usually just go round it again, rather than veer across the path of those who are not in the wrong lane.

5. Despite driving for a living for most of my working life, I make no claim to be particularly good at it.

6. I don’t know what a Lamborghini looks like, and although I can tell a BMW by its grill, I wouldn’t have a clue what model it was.

7. I would never ever consider having a personalised number plate. I can live with not being a real man if it comes at the price of being a proper wanker.

8. On the three occasions I have been fined for speeding, I didn’t complain about it with pride.