Adler's Description
Adler's description of this family:is a family whose needs remain secret, which results in all kinds of little and sometimes not so little never ending drama. And, one may talk about the sensitivity of another, while remaining hidden if they can focus elsewhere. Conscience is flexible according to their needs, adjusting for sound and appearance so that any word or action is justified each moment, and prepared to judge others--within the family where the script can be written and the game played.
That said, they had/have many good qualities, if they can only see themselves well enough to trust one another in the same manner they do to strangers whether for safety or for real concern and character. It is some of both.
The sensitivity results in an overly self-conscious nature at times, which rebels against exposure, though we see people all around us who have no trouble living with sensitivity unbound and therefore without inner conflict. They feel no pressure to relieve or escape from.
I'm dedicating this description to Adler even though I haven't read about him in a long time. He was much more practical and effective than Freud at improving peoples' lives.
How do you know when you're in a truck stop? When there's a puddle in front of every urinal.