Words that change us forever - Gwenth Paltrow

From the same book, Gweneth Paltrow (Oscar winner for her part in Shakespeare in Love) talks about the time in her life when she was in a relationship that just wasn't working, yet she wouldn't leave it. She was doing all the running, he was indifferent to her. She doesn't say who, but she was engaged to Brad Pitt for a year - wonder was it him ?. Anyway her friend Mary persuaded to do a retreat in the Catskills. As Gwyneth and Mary walked in the grounds of the Retreat House, Gwyeth was describing her woes about the boyfriend. (Women does that - I know !). Mary listened for a long time and then turned to her and said "YOU ARE NOT GETTING WHAT YOU NEED". And in those words Gwyneth realized that the core of the problem. That's he was not good for her, that her self-esteem has been eroded by being with him. So she ended the relationship. She also looked at the acting roles she had accepted just to be in work refused any more roles that were less than she was capable of. For her those words became a life philosophy that brought her acting fame and a happy marriage.

Got me thinking, about the extensive therapy sessions I had been doing to try to sort out my marriage. And I remembered one of the last ones, when I was rambling on about what wasn't right about the marriage, how unhappy I was, the rows, etc, etc. And my therapist just listened and listened. No advice, just listened. Finally it clicked with me and I said to him "I NEED TO END THIS, DONT I?". And he just looked at me. He knew I would eventually get to the truth, that I too would see that I was not getting what I needed. Six week later I ended the marriage.

I have also been on the other side of it, wiht a woman I dated but wasn't there for. Combination of being way over committed on holidays, being stressed out by financial and family things, and my lack of commitment to her in the relationship. She sat down with her friends and realised that she was not getting what she needed from our relationship. So she did what she had to do, she ended it.

There's my thoughts for today. Anyone else been there ?