of this that and other things
I have always wondered how different people, cultures and religions perceive and define relationships, friendships, love and etc. I often thought that I knew what they meant, because I was experiencing, but never thinking about their meaning.I would like to hear from all of you and your thoughts and experiences.
Comments (16)
How r u... u welcome on CS
Good to note differences exist between people, cultures, and religions since we all have unique experiences influencing our ideas about being in a relationship. Some of us may look to our parents as examples while others may build their knowledge base on the experience of others (friends, colleagues, celebrities). I think too, that the time we exist in plays an important role - ideas of young people today are not typically like those of their grandparents, for example.
I think, though, that there are some primary characteristics that exist for many of us, such as in "normal" human transactions - I'll scratch your back if you scratch mine; I'll respond to you in kindness if you do the same for me; I'll trust you if you show me I can trust you & vice versa; if you need a shoulder to cry on - I'll give you mine, no strings attached; if you demonstrate that you respect me, I will respond in kind... for some people it may other types of transactions required, depending on what each person seeks, such as immediate gratification; keeping living spaces clean in exchange for having a roof over one's head; sharing chores; being there when the other is in need.... it is different for all of us.
I think that in order to understand the true nature of any relationship, people need to understand clearly what it is they seek and be able to effectively convey that to others. And, hopefully, they will hear/understand and be able to respond in kind.
But, it is a pretty whacky world these days and I have sneaking suspicion that many people are not able to clearly define what they are seeking without other influences cluttering their heart space. I find it helpful to review what's going on in my life and consider those things I "really" need if I'm thinking of engaging with others (in any type of relationship)
Of course, sometimes life doesn't work that way, but, by having done that in the past at different times it helps me feel clear on who I am and what is truly important at any point in my life.
Of course there are other ethical theories that could also explain this behaviour in more purist terms such as Platos ethics which are pure virtue based ethics.
For countries such as Australia much is founded in Greek philosphy and for law much in Utilitarianism as applied ethics
It's been a long time since I engaged in philosophical dialog and since I contemplated inter-relationships - been spending time healing and not being involved - so I find this line of inquiry enlightening, especially considering where we are - thanks.
"despite the possibility of ruin or rapture, there appear to be survival advantages to being in the state of love, from the evolutionary sense of promoting progeny, to enhanced thriving – spiritual, utilitarian and/or aesthetic absorption – whether transient, superficial, intense and passionate, or profound and enduring."
This may be core to how we 'grow' and define our ideas of relationships - it seems to cover the gamut of all possible reasons we enter into relationships.
To me it was heavy, very sad, cold, sadly... also it seemed that the whole world turned away. But the friend gave a hand – and everything changed! It when friend nearby. And here those to us close people who are far will support the kind word. Well and to all this I will simply add. The friend is not the one who will jump for you from a window, and the one who will catch you from below
In my view, and I think most would agree, it is probably the most complex subject under discussion since the dawn of "Men". As a culture we have been exploring and opining on the subject through Philosophy, Psychology, Religion, and culture. This fact itself raises many question in my mind. "will we ever get it right" or is right evolving and will always be out of reach?
Would anyone agree with the statement that we as a spices are prevented from the ideal by A. Maslow? Our personal battle/s is/are a play between self preservation and the "needs" so clearly stated in the comment section.
If the above statement is true, then we all abide by the grand bargain. If not, then what is the answer?
I would like to ask for permission to all the commentators if it is alright for me to send friend requests. Who would not want friends such as you?
It is only complex for those who want it to be. My relationship is the easiest thing to have started, to maintain, and to be happy in.
It is acceptance - yes that's right - simple acceptance of another as she is, and this acceptance from her back to me that makes our relationship easy.
Do we understand each other all the time? No. Do we agree all the time? No. Do we each have our own foibles, and imperfections? Yes.
Do they matter? No.
I have found with my fiance that relating and relationship is easy when two people love and accept each other just as they are, and also continue to accept and love each other as we both change as time goes by.