Dictator Parent

I was on the interview schedule one day in a big company and met the Human Recources Department staff. She told me that she impressed with my Curriculum vitae and would like to have more conversation with me outside from the work matter. So I spent some times to talk with her after my interview.

The HRD staff, called her Adrian, about 20 years old girl. Adrian is a young fresh graduate student from one of the reputable university in Indonesia and now just joint with the company where I had the interview for about one month. She told me that some big Companies have rejected her as an employee due to she is wearing Muslim Hijab. I noticed that she tried to tell me something but not really opened to me.

After a while, our conversation become more opened and she told me openly that actually she is proud of me when she read my CV since we are in the same mind set, want to pursue for more higher education.

Adrian told me that for her age, some of her same-ages friends do not have the same mind set to want to developing their education and her friends even told her that no need to persue too high education since they are girls. When she met me Adrian thinks different way that nothing wrong with herself and her willing related to education.

Adrian also honestly and openly told me that she used to be a very shy girl in the University due to there is problem in her family. She is the only child in the family and her mom seems like very dictator to her, blame her for many things, never proud or satisfied with what Adrian reach, and set so many high standars for her. She became very closed and shy. Everything was changed when she began to joint the University organization and become more confidence with her ownself. She told me that she now has moved out from her house and want to be more independent and far away from her dictator mom. She feels more happier after that.

I myself have met one of dictator boss. Really not a pleasant feeling and definately she pushed my confidence to the lower level. At that time I can do nothing since she was my boss and she paid my salary.

During working with her, I feel no chance to speak up my voice. She likes to ask me to do this and that and I just feel like a personnel assistant than an employee (Your remember "The Devil wears Prada?").

While working with the Company, actually I have much ideas and spirit to do my job very well and to develop some system in the company but I always stuck in the process that I has to follow what the boss wished. There was no clear communication between us. I always have to ask her to decided something. If I proposed the idea which I thought better, she didn't want to say anything. If I did my idea, she felt not happy. The conclusion is I have to always listened to her and do what she said. In the end of the mixed feeling, I decided to step away from her and look for another job. Later I found out that her kids at home are also always listen to what she said due to she will feel not happy and mad at them (sometimes yelling like a boss) to them and the poor kids are afraid that their mom will not love them anymore and seems that can't make any decision for something when their mom is around. They have to wait for her mom's decision, (even for only order a pan of pizza and they afraidher momwill disagree and mad), and they did anything to make her happy. (The older kids are now 35 years old and the second kid was 30 years old).

Dictator person especially a parent is never a good thing. Parents sure know the best but parents not supposed to push their willing to children. We as parents need to know that time and era has changed and people are grown up already. Thanks to the nutrition of the children' meals now, the children now have reason and we can listen to what their idea and creativity are. Like one time a teacher asked a child "can you tell me why the clouds in your drawing are gray insted of white?" not "The cloud must be white, not gray".