Get Outa My Kitchen - Get Outa My Shed

I grew up in a traditional house hold where gender roles were concerned. My mother had her place in the kitchen, ironing room or laundry and the home was her domain where she enjoyed her position as carer of the family as it gave her purpose and rewarded her with pride, and to this day she maintains that being a home maker gave her a very happy life and she would have it no other way should she have her time again..

Dad was the bread winner and new his responsibilities to his wife, the house hold and his family. He worked for the same organization for forty years doing the same task day in and day out and rarely missed a day off work, because if you asked him, it was his responsibility as provider to do exactly that- provide!! And shirking his duty as the money earner was something that was never a consideration. I never saw my parents argue and the home was a secure a reliable place for me to be.

When I talk to people today whether they be prospective partners, friends or casual acquaintances about gender roles in the house hold or family unit, many are quite strident in their opinion that most all tasks should be shared by both partners in a marriage as this is the only fair and equitable position modern couples should take. But as a man I have to say there are particular tasks and duties that come more easily, or naturally, to me which I am better at performing, and then there are simple domestic tasks that challenge me no end. Honestly, if there were a disability benefit available for culinary ineptitude, I would be on full payment. It's as if my ancestral forefathers are channeling their will through my genes and demanding I burn, bludgeon or build something, but stay out of the kitchen!!!.

My view may not be popular, but I stand here before you knuckles dragging on the ground with a deer carcass slung over my shoulder and say this!! I believe we are naturally pre-disposed toward certain tasks and roles in our relationships and to demand otherwise on the pretext of "it's only fair" is going against our very nature and will only lead to confusion and unhappiness.

That's not to say of course that we shouldn't help our girls around the house (sorry fellas, I can't go that far) . I'm simply proposing that we men are hard wired to be the provider, and women the carer, and to fight that natural inclination won't make for happier husbands and wives.