I don't agree with the term "We are in the same boat", I think it is more " We are in the same storm", some in a bigger and safer boat, some small boat, some maybe swimming barely surviving. Me think.
Hi Jajah, yeah too bad, actually in March I was supposed to fly to Bangkok, but I cancelled as there was regulation that I will need to do 14 days quarantine when I'm back. I hope it will end soon as I miss Bangkok!
Yes, Knenagh, I am, not trying to push my self, I'm giving all the time I need. I will be in Europe for Christmas and New Year, perhaps we could finally meet somewhere. Would really love to meet you in person
Hi Gentle, for sure I would like to stay in my country with my kids, moving to another country with 4 kids is a bit too much hehehe but I'm not thinking of settling down when I retire. When all my kids in the university I'm thinking of traveling, yeah I think that's what I'm gonna do.
Ed, Calliope, good to see some old bloggers
Molly, both spain and ireland are in my travel list. Wish to be there one day.
Ian, nice meeting you and good luck with your searching
Knenagh, I agree with you, a good contact will help. Like you the reason why I moved to Bali was a job. Then I got to meet someone from Jakarta who also just moved to Bali and he introduced me to a bunch of people from Jakarta who also moved to Bali, we even have a whatsappp group where we share information like where to eat, house to rent, and hang out on weekend. It was nice. I can say those people are what made my staying fun. I stay in the group even now I'm back in Jakarta.
Hi Miss Jones, Oh yes, every encounter makes our adventure worthwhile, I second that. By the way nice meeting you
Dear all, sorry for the late respond. It was silence day on March 9. Silence day is celebrated in Bali as the day when you are not allowed to do any activity outside. So everyone is supposed to just stay at home, no work, no electricity, no cooking. It is the day when you are supposed to be in silence. The result is a very silence and peaceful surrounding and what more wonderful is the sky which are so clear with stars. I was lucky to experience that last year.
But as I am not in Bali and I am not Hindu and I did not do that but I did what I haven't done before, I did an internet detox. I stayed away from internet that day, and just be with my self, well at the end I also met some friends who lives at the same apartment with me. It was really nice to really connected (in real0.
Oustide, you celebrate Nyepi, are you saying you are back in Bali now?
Map, yes in most cases it is the people that makes a place feels like home.
Hi Pat, nice meeting you. Yes, it's good to be back again, miss my kids so much.
Catfoot, yes I miss the conversation here, a nice thing to do after a long day at work hehehe maybe I won't write much as I work 9-5 now, but sure will come here before going to bed :)
Hi Ed, everything is going smoothly well here, this month I have been going back and fort to Bali for the new job, while still finishing the magazine I am managing in Jakarta. And next month I will move to Bali and start fully working at the resort. Finger crossed and I hope everything also goes well with you
Hi Brian, you've been in Walden Pond, wow! Maybe I'll go there one day, or maybe not. I wont do something extreme like withdrawing from society and live on my own, but I guess being aware that my life is mine is already a big step. But I have always wanted to grow my ow food though, so I can control what I consume, no GMO product for sure. And I have done some DIY like making my own jam from organic fruits, my own soap from organic oils. It's good to be able to control what you consume, making sure no dangerous ingredients inside.
krishna, a name I like :) Reminds me of my friend name Krishna who do organic farm in Bali. He is mostly bare foot, bare chest, stop using shampo and soap, tooth paste, basically any detergen. He uses oil for that. He has a soft nice skin and a beautiful long hair. I guess that's what happen when you live in harmony with nature.
Dear all, thank you for all your comments and support. Sorry for the late reply as I just got back from Bali.
About the guy, he asked to meet this weekend, but the thing is, I don't think I want to go through long distance relationship anymore.. I don't know... maybe I'm not over my past relationship yet, maybe I have but still not ready yet... maybe I'm simply scared :) But he's nice and he makes me smile
travelagain! It was nice seeing you traveling again! Now that you mention it, I would love to have gelato and granita :) Oh hey, the aceto balsamic you gave is finished. Maybe it's time to visit you again :)
Dear wish, I learned that happiness is not to be found, it's created, by you, within you. I can not control what other people do to me, but I can control how I would react to it. At this point I choose to be happy :)
Wish, it took time for me to be in good terms again with them. At the end when all the anger gone and we realized it is our kids above all, we finally start talking and become friends again. We can not change what happened in the past but there's still something we can do for the future. In my case, when he said "I'm sorry for hurting you", and "Thank you for everything you have done for us" it really helped me to make peace with the past. I always believe we come across people in our life to learn something. I guess when you are able to say "sorry", "thank you", "I forgive you", that's when you finally learn the lesson.
Halv, I guess we don't stop loving someone just because when we are not with him/her anymore. Relationship is not just about love, it takes more than that.
Hi Wish, thank you for stopping by and saying hello. I do know they knew I did, because I believed they did too. I know my father loved me though we barely spoke to each other on his last days, as I'm sure he knew I love (d) him too. And my exes who now become friends again, and maybe even those who don't speak to me anymore, I think they knew I truly love(d) them. If there's a reason why we are not together anymore, there is no reason to stop loving and care, Especially those fathers of my kids, I still care of what they do and what they will become as I want my kids growing up proud of their parents regardless the fact we are not together anymore. As I told my kids our divorcees has nothing to do with our love to them, that's sometimes for adult it's better to be a good friends than husband and wife and that it will not lessen our love to our kids.
I raise my kids without their father but one thing I will make sure, my kids will feel love at home.
Lonely, thank you my dear. It was too late for my father as he passed away when we were not talking to each other. But yes, not to those whoa are still alive. It's a reminder to me as well.
Ken, I can not answer as I am not you. But for me, when I know where I am going, I will walk the path with all my heart. Maybe I was wrong, maybe I was just being me. I believe, one day I will meet someone who can appreciate a relationship the way I do, otherwise, I am happy being single, rather than being in a miserable relationship.
I am still sad, but at the same time I am glad it was over, and yes I appreciate him for having the guts to tell me though I think it was a little bit too late. In fact I thanked him for being honest.
Pieces by pieces written Breaking me into pieces Forcing me to pick up the pieces I don't know will it break me more Or help me healed But I will keep writing, though it's like scratching the wound After all, the pain, make me feel alive The wound, make me leap, higher
Ken, another thing, even when it was not long distance, you can always meet someone else. It's about trust and respect. I met guys too, but I told them I was in relationship. That's what you do when you are in relationship, commitment, loyalty. If you don't have that, don't. Just have NSA, FB, FWB, fling, whatever you call it. Asking someone to move in wit you is a big thing, even in western culture, I believe. Tell me, would you ask someone to live with you if you are not serious with her?
Ken, we have been together for almost 2 years, and I just met him on March and spent 2 wonderful weeks together in which he realized he want to be with me in person, everyday. He told me he wanted to wake up with me, working and looking forward to coming home kwnowing I will be there waiting for him. He even moved to a bigger house with huge yard as he knew I like gardening. We planned to have a botanical garden, then I will cook with what we plant, make jam, cake. I even bought some seeds. It's not just electronical, I met him every 2 or 3 months. When I was in Italy he told his family that I will come visiting them and had his brother coming and his gf to pick me up at the train station (because his brother does not speak english well). He arranged some of his friends to meet me and let me stay at their places in Milan. Nothing is more real than that. When I was visiting him I remember he skyped with his Mom, showing me, his gf who will visit them in Italy.
But time flew, people changed, feeling vanished, I guess...
Solamente, where the kiss was not the case. He clearly stated that he can't be with me anymore, because he is with her.
Halv, I understand everything you wrote. I just did not understand he kept me believing in the idea of moving to him for another 2 months. They met on May, he told me about her on July after I asked him whether he met someone else. In May he said come on June, on June he said come on July. Then on July he said, I can't, I met someone else and I want to be with her. Had he told me, I would not have wasted my time.
Dear all, thank you for all your comment and opinion. I can't reply to each one of you because I still need to dwell on this. There are many questions but then will knowing the answers help? It does will make me understand but then what? He confessed and he choose to end this with me and be with her.
Whatever had happened, I can't do anything about it. What I can do now is to let go and move forward. Easier said than done though.
No way of knowing if he's ever coming back No way of knowing if I care or not No way of knowing if he's right or wrong No way of knowing if I carry on or not And I'm alive, and I'm alone And I never wanted to be either of those.
It's been more than 2 months and I'm still awake at night sometimes, crying. But sometimes I manage to write, transforming the sadness. That was one. That's all I can do. At the moment.
sarasvathy Blog Comments (705)
RE: "IN THE SAME BOAT"
I don't agree with the term "We are in the same boat", I think it is more " We are in the same storm", some in a bigger and safer boat, some small boat, some maybe swimming barely surviving. Me think.