"VISITING TIME"..("THE ART OF VISITING")

First of all..Right off the bat.."I dont like Christmas"...I am forced to buy something for some people that I absolutely dispise.....Yeah..My hard earned money has to go to buy that Blood Sucking lazy Useless piece of humanity a Present(Once a year is too much)..And when its "Visiting Time"..I have to act as if hes such a wonderful guy (Shaking hands and all that crap)..And then have to sit there and open up a present that will have 3 pairs of Socks in it(Just Swell)..Oh Yeah..And after you open the "Present"...You have to say those unavoidable words....."Oh Thank you".."Just What I Needed"....Its at these times that One wishes he/She was an Orphan........As soon as I get there Im waiting til its time to get the Hell outta there.....What a bunch of crap we have to do on Christmas....I hate to be seen carrying Presents all wrapped up with a stupid card on it with the "Beloveds Name On It"......And the biggest disaster that can strike a guy like me is the dreaded sound of...."Would you like to stay for Dinner?"......Let Me Outta Here!!!!!!!....And in a lot of cases..People are acting out the whole show(And when they get outside and in the Car they say..."I thought wed never get out of there"...I was forced to go once by my Mother who said I must go so that way "It Keeps the Peace"...."To Hell with the Peace!"..."Frig the Peace!".......And sometimes when your there you have to meet "Cousins Joes New Girlfriend"...And as you see her you think to yourself.."What a Beaut she must be in a Bathing Suit!".....Im sure theres families that are just like "The Waltons".......Not Mine.....Im thrilled that Christmas is only Once A Year........If it was more than that?...I would commit Suicide......(Maybe get a cord wrapped around my neck too)................."Merry Christmas!"............. .......