15 Years Later

For the past few generations it is probably just a date, 9-11, but for those that are over 30 it has quite a bit more significance. For those old enough we were bombarded with replay after replay of the first smoking tower, then the second plane strike, then the first and finally the second tower collapsing. We learned how “lucky” we were that it didn’t happen just 45 minutes later when the two towers would have been packed with 50,000 occupants and so on and so on. Needless to say, it is one of those pivotal moments in history that is frequently preceded by the question “where were you when it happened”.

I, for one, was working on a environmental clean up site, sitting at my desk, listening to NPR on my radio. After the first plane hit I wandered up to the site cafeteria to see the big screen with about 250 other people. We stood there watching as the 2nd plane came in and the room fell silent with only the occasional utterance of “oh my God”. I went back to my desk and asked the division head if he had heard, which he did and then I asked if work would continue in the afternoon. I remember he saying “of course, why the hell shouldn’t it”. I got back to my desk just long enough for the phone to ring. It was my military contact calling to verify my location and availability if I should be called back to active duty. Things were happening fast. And then I did something entirely out of character for myself; I walked up to the Plant Managers office, walked in and informed him of the Division Managers comments and simply stated “we have over 750 people in the back that are talking about what was seen earlier; do you really think it is wise for us to send them back out there, handling some of that contaminated materials with their minds on NYC?”. He looked at me, blinked a few times and simply said “thank you for that”.

By the time I had returned to my office the PA system had an announcement that all employee’s were dismissed, were to go home and stay there through the end of the week & not to worry, they would receive their normal pay. We then spent the rest of the week waiting, watching, and making preparations for who knows what. I’m not a prepper, but I did count the number of cans of soup, drinks, other dry goods, etc in case we were ordered to stay in our homes.

Looking back now, the number of changes in our country are nothing less than extraordinary. I realize that my children and their children may never know a country that was reasonably safe and free from fear of terrorism. They will not know what it is like to walk down a city street without seeing dozens of surveillance cameras, or hearing how other crimes were thwarted and people prosecuted with those video tapes ….. part of me thinking “good, you got the bastards” while the other part of me worries if I did anything wrong that I should fear being photographed … while reflecting on George Orwell’s “1984” that I saw for the first time that same year.

And the PTSD I suffered from after leaving the military, briefly shows itself each year at this time of year. A little less each time, but it’s still there, reminding me of the fear that so many others, especially those in bigger cities, are certainly feeling in anticipation of another lone wolf attack or some other senseless act of violence. You know, I understand my fathers comments and wishes for “the good old days” much better now and can only wonder what my own son and daughters life time events that will cause that same reflection will be, and if they too will reflect on so many things lost, never to be regained.

I still believe we live in the greatest country on the face of the earth … I just wish that certain parts of it were like they were before that fateful day and I hope above hopes that my children and grandchildren will someday live in a world that is less scary and less encumbered by those that honestly believe that giving up a little freedom gives us more security.