Online Relationships....Guarded Hearts ( Archived) (52)

Where to start...I guess I will start by saying that this thread came to be as I layed in bed and thought about a few of CS people that I have come come to know & care about as friends. Over the past few weeks, I have seen love lost, love gained only for love to be lost once again and it really had an impact on myself seeing people that I have come to know being hurt or even just simply lost.

Speaking from personal experience, I can atest to how easy it is to give ones heart to someone over a few lines of text to someone whom I thought cared, so I can relate to some of what has been going on, so this is not aimed anyone in particular, but to everyone.

First, I have found it amazing how quickly sometimes ones heart can be influenced. I know that there are times that the simple words from someone can make us feel good and feel as though we found that special someone that we've been waiting for all times.
We find ourselves breathless with anticipation hearing for their next email or post. As we log on, we can already foresee ourselves talking to that someone in particular as we enter our passwords and when we see them on, we feel that warm sensation run over our body like a warm security blanket, and all is right with the world. We find ourselves completely enveloped in their ideals, their words & what we percieve to be their emotions as if they were with us that very moment. We say to ourselves, "It truely is a miracle that I have this person in my life that makes me feel complete. They truely must be a miracle for they are half a world, a country away from me, and they say the words that make me feel so complete." And then it happens, the day we regret...The moment we neer forsaw, an email stating that, they feel things were moving to fast, and that they want to start distancing themselves from us. A quick moment of cold terror sweeps over us, we turn pale, we read it over & over to make sure we aren't reading the very words before us...It's over.

I myself have found myself guilty of having had these feelings myself and at times, I still do. But I also snap myself back to reality and realize and say to myself "How could I have ever let, a few words of text, define a rerlationship??" I live with the doubt and move on to the next person that will give me that quick rush I felt that one day. It is like a drug that we can't get enough of. An addiction that we can't define.

I have seen many of us, feel we found that special one and when we find out that we haven't, we find someone else, to fullfill that same rush. I know I am just a simple observer and have no say in how we run one anothers life. I simply ask this one thing from you all, as a friend that cares, keep your heart guarded until that special day where you can actually hold that special one in your arms.

I will recount a few of my experiences, so as to show, that even the one that preaches, needs to learn to practice. I came onto these forums, out of the blue really, and quickly found someone that I shared idelolgies with and seemed to always agree with. IT WAS AMAZING!! So we talked, for about 2weeks and it seemed as though we had talked for months. After some talk, we decided to meet, for things had been amazing so far. But then came reality. Flipping through the pages of the different forum topics, I came across a topic where this person was talking about having met someone special and that she had thought it was going to work. I looked at the date..Confusingly enough, it was dated 1 week before we had started talking. This got me curious and I flipped through the pages of the thread and noticed that this was a re-occuring theme with this person. Sure enough, I got the idea, of what really was up. It in my opinion was a clear case of co-dependancy. This was someone that couldn't be alone and was willing to settle for what came along. This was something that I was not willing to accept because, in the end, I wanted someone that was willing to settle for me because I was me, not because I was the next to come along.

Another experience that I had was someone that lived a great distance from me. Her & I hit it off very well. Having thought I did my homework and learned a lesson from the last, I went into this with an open heart & more importantly, an open mind. I found myself anticipating when we'd talk and things were going well, except one thing....reality came once again. The distance was great and neither of us could afford really to see one another on a regular basis. The two of us are still friends, and we still talk, but I let it be known, that anything more could never be.

My last experience is, someone I like, but someone that I'm willing to say, I care about....however, as the previous 2, reality came home once again...But this was a different sense of reality...A reality that says take your time, what is meant to be, will be...what isn't will never. I still talk to this woman, as we do every evening. I find myself wanting to talk to her but, something is different..I seem to be wanting to say someething, but I don't. What it is, I will see if we can see one another at some time. My lessons have come to me, in that, I am keeping my heart guarded.

Yeah this is a bunch of things that you may feel as though are inconsequential to your life...But, when you think about it, those of us that find ourselves talking to someone special, have caught ourselves feeling something for the person we talk too.

I leave with this hard, but yet simple advice, keep your hearts guarded. We only see and feel the words the people say. The day for our hearts release, will be the day we can hear them whisper those words in our ear. Online love is easy, it's controlling it that can be difficult. Some of us are more emotional than others, so we are more succeptable as well. Keep your hearts guarded, and there will be less pain should things go not as planned.

Again, I just wanted to share a few words to let some know they aren't alone in how they sometimes feel about relationships that develop and are destroyed online. No matter what though, you do have friends here that are always here to listen to you, through your good & your bad moments that you may go through. I just ask once again, keep your hearts guarded.


(This is what happens when I have too much caffeine & care..I ramble)


For all & friends.

There you go dreaming. My Realdoll is the only one who fulfills all of my desires.

I have had the same experiences although have learned to keep my heart guarded well...maybe sometimes too well I don't know...I just know that it now takes a long time for me to fully open up my emotions to someone....so there is no chance of me jumping anywhere too soon again...

Yes I agree...you can think you know someone from conversations etc...BUT the truth is you really don't unless you get to know each other in RL....

Same here. I've just seen alot of hurt and alot of jumping into "relationships" as of late and figured I'd offer a little personal experience & advice. Don't like seeing people get hurt un-necassarily