Or maybe I am wrong and they are up there looking down on us? (62)
African kids are not lied to. There are no santa or tooth fairy myths. It's a bucket and off to the well.
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Who knows what's in store for us when we die, maybe nothing. I wouldn't be inclined to lie to her though.
Just let her know that her mother loved her, as do others that are still here.
She can make up her own mind about the afterlife when she's capable and willing to explore those possibilities.
Just let her know that her mother loved her, as do others that are still here.
She can make up her own mind about the afterlife when she's capable and willing to explore those possibilities.
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They are looking down on us, maybe in spirit only, but still looking down on us so it is NOT a temporary soothing lie....
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Laura25: When a small child looses a parent, you want a little girl to know about her mother's wonderful spirit and how much she(the child) is still loved.
You want to offer some kind of comfort by saying that her mother is in heaven looking down at her, and smiling at her, and loving her.
I want to believe there is this glorious afterlife, but I can't make myself believing it. And saying it to a little girl feels odd - like lying to her.
We do tell kids about Ester Bunnies and Santas, but then they learn it's a lie. Very fast.
Will this child resent being fed this temporary soothing lie when she realizes it's just another lie?
You want to offer some kind of comfort by saying that her mother is in heaven looking down at her, and smiling at her, and loving her.
I want to believe there is this glorious afterlife, but I can't make myself believing it. And saying it to a little girl feels odd - like lying to her.
We do tell kids about Ester Bunnies and Santas, but then they learn it's a lie. Very fast.
Will this child resent being fed this temporary soothing lie when she realizes it's just another lie?
Hi Laura.........
I'm like yourself in that I dont believe it either, but as regards a situation like that, I would not mind a little whit lie.
If it causes them comfort in a time of distress I see nothing wrong with it.......Kids shd be kids for as long as poss IMO
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lusciousmile: African kids are not lied to. There are no santa or tooth fairy myths. It's a bucket and off to the well.
No any sort of comfort is being offered at all?
Just let them deal with it on their own?
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kidatheart: Who knows what's in store for us when we die, maybe nothing. I wouldn't be inclined to lie to her though.
Just let her know that her mother loved her, as do others that are still here.
She can make up her own mind about the afterlife when she's capable and willing to explore those possibilities.
Just let her know that her mother loved her, as do others that are still here.
She can make up her own mind about the afterlife when she's capable and willing to explore those possibilities.
Thanks, Kid.
Right.
But by that time she won't need as much comfort, as she'd need first few months or couple of years - time will do the healing.
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Laura25: No any sort of comfort is being offered at all?
Just let them deal with it on their own?
Just let them deal with it on their own?
I am not kidding you, Laura. Most of us don't really talk about these things. You will find that most African kids grow up to be very tough.
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vinny1967: Hi Laura.........
I'm like yourself in that I dont believe it either, but as regards a situation like that, I would not mind a little whit lie.
If it causes them comfort in a time of distress I see nothing wrong with it.......Kids shd be kids for as long as poss IMO
I'm like yourself in that I dont believe it either, but as regards a situation like that, I would not mind a little whit lie.
If it causes them comfort in a time of distress I see nothing wrong with it.......Kids shd be kids for as long as poss IMO
Hi Vinny
That's what I think too -
even though it feels odd (to me) saying it, I might be wrong and they are "up there" or she herself might come to this conclusion someday...
or if not, will hate us for lying... someday, very soon.
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lusciousmile: I am not kidding you, Laura. Most of us don't really talk about these things. You will find that most African kids grow up to be very tough.
It's interesting, Lush - I thought every nation has lots of these kind of "fairy tales".
Very tough? That sounds "cool".
What about growing up feeling very deprived and being emotionally disturbed?
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Laura25: Hi Vinny
That's what I think too -
even though it feels odd (to me) saying it, I might be wrong and they are "up there" or she herself might come to this conclusion someday...
or if not, will hate us for lying... someday, very soon.
That's what I think too -
even though it feels odd (to me) saying it, I might be wrong and they are "up there" or she herself might come to this conclusion someday...
or if not, will hate us for lying... someday, very soon.
I think its easy here Laura.............Religion was very big here and most people are Catholics. The Church virtually ran our school system so religion is taught.
My kids go to a catholic school so are taught about religion from an early age..........I do explain to them there are different faiths and dont push it on them.................so in a way its easier for us to do........
Anyway Nite..............
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In response to: When a small child looses a parent, you want a little girl to know about her mother's wonderful spirit and how much she(the child) is still loved.
You want to offer some kind of comfort by saying that her mother is in heaven looking down at her, and smiling at her, and loving her.
I want to believe there is this glorious afterlife, but I can't make myself believing it. And saying it to a little girl feels odd - like lying to her.
We do tell kids about Ester Bunnies and Santas, but then they learn it's a lie. Very fast.
Will this child resent being fed this temporary soothing lie when she realizes it's just another lie?
You want to offer some kind of comfort by saying that her mother is in heaven looking down at her, and smiling at her, and loving her.
I want to believe there is this glorious afterlife, but I can't make myself believing it. And saying it to a little girl feels odd - like lying to her.
We do tell kids about Ester Bunnies and Santas, but then they learn it's a lie. Very fast.
Will this child resent being fed this temporary soothing lie when she realizes it's just another lie?
Who's to say there's no heaven. It's a personal belief. Just like all religions are personal. If the child was brought up to believe or her parents believed, who are we to tell her otherwise. Until someone can come back and tell me there's nothing up there, I choose to believe.
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vinny1967: I think its easy here Laura.............Religion was very big here and most people are Catholics. The Church virtually ran our school system so religion is taught.
My kids go to a catholic school so are taught about religion from an early age..........I do explain to them there are different faiths and dont push it on them.................so in a way its easier for us to do........
Anyway Nite..............
My kids go to a catholic school so are taught about religion from an early age..........I do explain to them there are different faiths and dont push it on them.................so in a way its easier for us to do........
Anyway Nite..............
G'nite, Vinny
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Laura25: It's interesting, Lush - I thought every nation has lots of these kind of "fairy tales".
Very tough? That sounds "cool".
What about growing up feeling very deprived and being emotionally disturbed?
Very tough? That sounds "cool".
What about growing up feeling very deprived and being emotionally disturbed?
Every country has it's tales, not necessary fairy tales, and not all of them stem from fiction.
You see, Laura, growing up with a diffent culture, does not mean we are deprived of important things like love or guidance. It also does not mean that we are neglected. If we were emotionally disturbed, there would be more suicides and drug use, I think.
I am glad I wasn't told fibs, though I respect that every one has their own way of raising kids.
JMO
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lifesajoy: Who's to say there's no heaven. It's a personal belief. Just like all religions are personal. If the child was brought up to believe or her parents believed, who are we to tell her otherwise. Until someone can come back and tell me there's nothing up there, I choose to believe.
No, the little girl's family is not religious.
At least not actively practicing religion.
This child, as many kids these days, is not brought up neither believing nor not-believing.
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sorry for typo...
Laura25: No, the little girl's family is not religious.
At least not actively practicing religion.
This child, as many kids these days, brought up neither believing nor not-believing.
At least not actively practicing religion.
This child, as many kids these days, brought up neither believing nor not-believing.
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lusciousmile: African kids are not lied to. There are no santa or tooth fairy myths. It's a bucket and off to the well.
that was so funny Lush.I know it probably not ment to be , but it cracked me up.
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livinglarge: that was so funny Lush.
I know it probably not ment to be , but it cracked me up.
I know it probably not ment to be , but it cracked me up.
Hey, it's cool with me.
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lusciousmile: Hey, it's cool with me.
thanks
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lusciousmile: Every country has it's tales, not necessary fairy tales, and not all of them stem from fiction.
You see, Laura, growing up with a diffent culture, does not mean we are deprived of important things like love or guidance. It also does not mean that we are neglected. If we were emotionally disturbed, there would be more suicides and drug use, I think.
I am glad I wasn't told fibs, though I respect that every one has their own way of raising kids.JMO
You see, Laura, growing up with a diffent culture, does not mean we are deprived of important things like love or guidance. It also does not mean that we are neglected. If we were emotionally disturbed, there would be more suicides and drug use, I think.
I am glad I wasn't told fibs, though I respect that every one has their own way of raising kids.JMO
Oh, Lush, in no way I implied lack of love or guidance. Or neglect.
It's not so common for a small child to lose a parent and if it happens, it feels as if there are ways to help. Somehow. Somewhat.
Even though there are probably none.
But there is still this nagging feeling that you must offer more help in dealing with it than just love.
It's hard to explain unless you are actually in such situation.
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You want to offer some kind of comfort by saying that her mother is in heaven looking down at her, and smiling at her, and loving her.
I want to believe there is this glorious afterlife, but I can't make myself believing it. And saying it to a little girl feels odd - like lying to her.
We do tell kids about Ester Bunnies and Santas, but then they learn it's a lie. Very fast.
Will this child resent being fed this temporary soothing lie when she realizes it's just another lie?