Will you forgive the man who has been voilent to you? (116)
druidess6308Aliquippa, Pennsylvania USA79 Threads 13,695 PostsI have forgiven all of those who have been violent to me in any way. I don't forget, because there are lessons to be learned from it and signs it taught me to watch for, but I do forgive.
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druidess6308: I have forgiven all of those who have been violent to me in any way. I don't forget, because there are lessons to be learned from it and signs it taught me to watch for, but I do forgive.
Well said druidess ...its never a mistake if we learn from it.
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In response to: Girls, will you forgive him?
"I kneed him where it hurts
and than forgave him...".
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Laura25: Seeking punishment he deserved was a right thing to do, but you did forgive after finding this closure, no?
Hi Laura
Closure, or acceptance of the facts occurs over time. I don't think about it anymore unless the topic comes up, but it took years to get to that point.
To forgive means to draw a line and say, okay, you've done a terrible thing, but from here forward, I'll respect you as a person. That I will not do. I do not believe that he deserves forgiveness from me. The consequences of his act are something he should have thought of before he got drunk and violent. In as much as I have to live with this memory, he needs to live with the memory as well. I will not make it "okay" for him.
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Scubadiva: Hi Laura
Closure, or acceptance of the facts occurs over time. I don't think about it anymore unless the topic comes up, but it took years to get to that point.
To forgive means to draw a line and say, okay, you've done a terrible thing, but from here forward, I'll respect you as a person. That I will not do. I do not believe that he deserves forgiveness from me. The consequences of his act are something he should have thought of before he got drunk and violent. In as much as I have to live with this memory, he needs to live with the memory as well. I will not make it "okay" for him.
Closure, or acceptance of the facts occurs over time. I don't think about it anymore unless the topic comes up, but it took years to get to that point.
To forgive means to draw a line and say, okay, you've done a terrible thing, but from here forward, I'll respect you as a person. That I will not do. I do not believe that he deserves forgiveness from me. The consequences of his act are something he should have thought of before he got drunk and violent. In as much as I have to live with this memory, he needs to live with the memory as well. I will not make it "okay" for him.
Hi Scuba
I can understand that - it's not only natural,
it's also healthy, it's not allowing to be played for a fool.
Scubadiva: ...
To forgive means to draw a line and say, okay, you've done a terrible thing, but from here forward, I'll respect you as a person. That I will not do.
...
To forgive means to draw a line and say, okay, you've done a terrible thing, but from here forward, I'll respect you as a person. That I will not do.
...
I don't think that and only that constitutes forgiveness - to gain the
respect back,I would not do that either.
Indifference towards abuser would be the extend of the forgiveness in my case, I think.
As for respect - it has to be earned, it does not come in one package with forgiveness. Not automatically.
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Polarbutterfly: "I kneed him where it hurts
and than forgave him...".
and than forgave him...".
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In response to: Girls, will you forgive him?
I have forgiven an exbf for being violent to me and I had a violent father. However would I be in a friendship or romantic relationship or return to someone once they were. NO way in hell.
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I have forgiven my abusers, So long as they stay away from me, cause I might want to turn on them now if they try to mess with me again. I am not so weak anymore.
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FloraFlora: Girls, will you forgive him?
IF you do then you're giving licence for more........simple.
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Dawn7z: I have forgiven an exbf for being violent to me and I had a violent father. However would I be in a friendship or romantic relationship or return to someone once they were. NO way in hell.
I concur...forgiveness is about letting of of all the pain and hurt of the past...NOT about letting them back into our lives...
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Gee you are sweet peeps cause what I wrote at the beginning of this thread is yukkier than the rest of the postings..
Nah Im not forgiving having to look over my shoulder and having to look in the mirror with bite marks and black eyes and split lips and my hair being cut off to look like humiliation for him..
Im never going to forgive cause if I did forgive him then then he would feel good and as far as Im concerned I wouldnt even give him the steam off my early morning pee
Nah Im not forgiving having to look over my shoulder and having to look in the mirror with bite marks and black eyes and split lips and my hair being cut off to look like humiliation for him..
Im never going to forgive cause if I did forgive him then then he would feel good and as far as Im concerned I wouldnt even give him the steam off my early morning pee
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Hugz_n_Kissez: I concur...forgiveness is about letting of of all the pain and hurt of the past...NOT about letting them back into our lives...
It is too help just ourself. To heal and move forward.
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In response to: Girls, will you forgive him?
Flora, the first time a man hits you show him towards the door.
I've seen and heard the accounts of lots of women who justified this by saying things like "he's under a lot of stress at the moment" and although you may love the man you have no guarantee he will not do it again.
So if anyone does this to you, leave, and go straight to the nearest police station and have the person charged with assault.
Oh and please use as many Chinese sayings as possible, as i love the sayings! Especially the "jumping lobster" one!
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I forgive if the offender repents and swears not to do it again.
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rodolpho: I forgive if the offender repents and swears not to do it again.
Sadly all to often their word means nothing and after the first time it's a slippery slope.
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I forgave him but only after the divorce.
It was necessary to forgive him in order for me to put it behind me and move on.
It was necessary to forgive him in order for me to put it behind me and move on.
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Mercedes1: Gee you are sweet peeps cause what I wrote at the beginning of this thread is yukkier than the rest of the postings..
Nah Im not forgiving having to look over my shoulder and having to look in the mirror with bite marks and black eyes and split lips and my hair being cut off to look like humiliation for him..
Im never going to forgive cause if I did forgive him then then he would feel good and as far as Im concerned I wouldnt even give him the steam off my early morning pee
Nah Im not forgiving having to look over my shoulder and having to look in the mirror with bite marks and black eyes and split lips and my hair being cut off to look like humiliation for him..
Im never going to forgive cause if I did forgive him then then he would feel good and as far as Im concerned I wouldnt even give him the steam off my early morning pee
Merc, there is nothing yukkie about your postings,
read what Scuba wrote, what I wrote.
How can you forgive not having any kind of closure but having to look over your shoulder instead?
You can not.
There is suppose to be a closure of some sort.
And him not anywhere near you is a must to only start a healing process.
Sorry, all you guys, there are so much violence out there
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Abusers will not quit they will simply try to brainwash you into thinking that its' your fault. If you are in this situation please get out. They are very sick humans who have most likely been sick themselves. There are many people killed by their abusers.
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Dawn7z: Abusers will not quit they will simply try to brainwash you into thinking that its' your fault. If you are in this situation please get out. They are very sick humans who have most likely been sick themselves. There are many people killed by their abusers.
sorry meant to say they have been abused themselves me and my typos.
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