You know your getting old when you...... (123)
lcnoskogirlSturtevant, Wisconsin USA2 PostsWhen you go to the doctor and realize you are now so old that you have to pay somebody to look at you naked! 
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Big_John: You talk about "good grass" and you're referring to someone's lawn.
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spicey1: You hear teenagers refer to the songs you grew up with as "oldies"
Sadly, I definitely have that one happening already.
When the cars you used to drive as a teen are classified as antiques.
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RillyNiceGuy: When you and your wife get vasiline and window putty confused and...........
.............your windows fall out!
.............your windows fall out!
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You see crows drawing straws outside your bedroom window.
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when you play a slot machine and can't get it out of reverse!
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When you are at the Gym...struggling with the weights...and young Ladies come up to you and say....you need some one to 'spot you'(A term at the gym,a helping hand)....... 
J.D
J.D
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i don't know yet i'm not that old
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RillyNiceGuy: Its a Southern thang! unless its the fridge then its an old thang!
Keeps grass from growing on your back steps!
Keeps grass from growing on your back steps!
Thanks for the household hint. I'll be sure and let you know when I get arrested so that you can take up a collection to bail me out..now, let's see..is the grass higher in the back or the front?
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RillyNiceGuy: ........you..........you....... .......
when you feel you have a short term amnesia..
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Kaleb: Signs You're Getting Older
1. Everything hurts and what doesn't hurt doesn't work.
2. The gleam in your eyes is from the sun hitting your bi-focals.
3. You feel like the morning after and you haven't been anywhere.
4. Your little black book contains only names that end in M.D.
5. Your children begin to look middle aged.
6. You finally reach the top of the ladder and find it leaning against the wrong wall.
7. Your mind makes contracts your body can't meet.
8. You look forward to a dull evening.
9. Your favorite part of the newspaper is "20 Years Ago Today."
10. You turn out the lights for economic rather than romantic reasons.
11. You sit in a rocking chair and can't get it going.
12. Your knees buckle, and your belt won't.
14. You're 17 around the neck, 42 around the waist, and 95 around the golf course.
15. Your back goes out more than you do.
17. Your Pacemaker makes the garage door go up when you see a pretty girl.
18. The little old gray haired lady you helped across the street is your wife.
19. You sink your teeth into a steak, and they stay there.
20. You have too much room in the house and not enough in the medicine cabinet.
21. You get your exercise acting as a pallbearer for your friends who exercise.
22. You know all the answers, but nobody asks you the questions.
23. You're asleep, but others worry that you're dead.
24. You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.
25. You buy a compass for the dash of your car.
26. You are proud of your lawn mower.
27. Your best friend is dating someone half their age...and isn't breaking any laws.
28. You call Olan Mills before they call you.
29. Your arms are almost too short to read the newspaper.
30. You sing along with the elevator music.
31. You would rather go to work than stay home sick.
32. You constantly talk about the price of gasoline.
33. You enjoy hearing about other people's operations.
34. You consider coffee one of the most important things in life.
35. You make an appointment to see the dentist.
36. You no longer think of speed limits as a challange.
37. Neighbors borrow your tools.
38. People call at 9 p.m. and ask, "Did I wake you?"
39. You have a dream about prunes.
40. You answer a question with, "because I said so."
41. You send money to PBS.
42. The end of your tie doesn't come anywhere near the top of your pants.
43. You take a metal detector to the beach.
44. You wear black socks with sandals.
45. You know what the word "equity" means.
46. You can't remember the last time you laid on the floor to watch TV.
47. Your ears are hairier than your head.
48. You get into a heated argument about pension plans.
49. You got cable for the weather channel (sometimes referred to as "Old Folks MTV").
50. You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it.
1. Everything hurts and what doesn't hurt doesn't work.
2. The gleam in your eyes is from the sun hitting your bi-focals.
3. You feel like the morning after and you haven't been anywhere.
4. Your little black book contains only names that end in M.D.
5. Your children begin to look middle aged.
6. You finally reach the top of the ladder and find it leaning against the wrong wall.
7. Your mind makes contracts your body can't meet.
8. You look forward to a dull evening.
9. Your favorite part of the newspaper is "20 Years Ago Today."
10. You turn out the lights for economic rather than romantic reasons.
11. You sit in a rocking chair and can't get it going.
12. Your knees buckle, and your belt won't.
14. You're 17 around the neck, 42 around the waist, and 95 around the golf course.
15. Your back goes out more than you do.
17. Your Pacemaker makes the garage door go up when you see a pretty girl.
18. The little old gray haired lady you helped across the street is your wife.
19. You sink your teeth into a steak, and they stay there.
20. You have too much room in the house and not enough in the medicine cabinet.
21. You get your exercise acting as a pallbearer for your friends who exercise.
22. You know all the answers, but nobody asks you the questions.
23. You're asleep, but others worry that you're dead.
24. You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.
25. You buy a compass for the dash of your car.
26. You are proud of your lawn mower.
27. Your best friend is dating someone half their age...and isn't breaking any laws.
28. You call Olan Mills before they call you.
29. Your arms are almost too short to read the newspaper.
30. You sing along with the elevator music.
31. You would rather go to work than stay home sick.
32. You constantly talk about the price of gasoline.
33. You enjoy hearing about other people's operations.
34. You consider coffee one of the most important things in life.
35. You make an appointment to see the dentist.
36. You no longer think of speed limits as a challange.
37. Neighbors borrow your tools.
38. People call at 9 p.m. and ask, "Did I wake you?"
39. You have a dream about prunes.
40. You answer a question with, "because I said so."
41. You send money to PBS.
42. The end of your tie doesn't come anywhere near the top of your pants.
43. You take a metal detector to the beach.
44. You wear black socks with sandals.
45. You know what the word "equity" means.
46. You can't remember the last time you laid on the floor to watch TV.
47. Your ears are hairier than your head.
48. You get into a heated argument about pension plans.
49. You got cable for the weather channel (sometimes referred to as "Old Folks MTV").
50. You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it.
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Your get up and go, has got up and gone.
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when you feel you are not old yet....
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wixomwizard: Your get up and go, has got up and gone.
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USThumper: And I cant find it again
I run the 40 yard dash in 4 day's, but put on the afterburners if I just left Taco Bell.
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wixomwizard: I run the 40 yard dash in 4 day's, but put on the afterburners if I just left Taco Bell.
OMG
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Dawn7z: OMG
Just another reason why I would'nt eat Haggis.
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Hilarious!!!!!!!!
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RillyNiceGuy: When the young people next door tell you to turn the TV down so they can hear there AC/DC CD.
lmao
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when u start to shrink
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