You know your getting old when you...... (123)
ladyfingersclovis, nm, New Mexico USA261 Threads 1 Polls 5,456 Postswhen you have more wrinkles than a shar pei
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I screamed like a little child,,the first time I received AARP mail 
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When you look at profiles or read messages and think wow, then look at the age.....
Policemen look hunkier ever day....alas...young!
No that´s not true, be positive! I´ve seen policemen here, older, who are still hunky and gorgeous. I have a class of policemen.
I have a strict policy, never date students.
Policemen look hunkier ever day....alas...young!
No that´s not true, be positive! I´ve seen policemen here, older, who are still hunky and gorgeous. I have a class of policemen.
I have a strict policy, never date students. ------ This thread is Archived ------
takeit4granted: I screamed like a little child,,the first time I received AARP mail
I scream every frigging day...
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when you kiss your wife in bed and she keeps wagging her nose back and forth and growling.
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ladyfingers: I scream every frigging day...
keeps the lungs young
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RillyNiceGuy: when you kiss your wife in bed and she keeps wagging her nose back and forth and growling.
Are you saying your wife looks like a dog or is one?
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takeit4granted: I screamed like a little child,,the first time I received AARP mail
What´s AARP?
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You're asleep, but others worry that you're dead.
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Jan1305: What´s AARP?
You'll know soon enough.
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ladyfingers: Are you saying your wife looks like a dog or is one?
Well that end of the dog was puckered already!
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Your best friend is dating someone half their age, and isn't breaking any laws.
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You talk about "good grass" and you're referring to someone's lawn.
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Signs You're Getting Older
1. Everything hurts and what doesn't hurt doesn't work.
2. The gleam in your eyes is from the sun hitting your bi-focals.
3. You feel like the morning after and you haven't been anywhere.
4. Your little black book contains only names that end in M.D.
5. Your children begin to look middle aged.
6. You finally reach the top of the ladder and find it leaning against the wrong wall.
7. Your mind makes contracts your body can't meet.
8. You look forward to a dull evening.
9. Your favorite part of the newspaper is "20 Years Ago Today."
10. You turn out the lights for economic rather than romantic reasons.
11. You sit in a rocking chair and can't get it going.
12. Your knees buckle, and your belt won't.
14. You're 17 around the neck, 42 around the waist, and 95 around the golf course.
15. Your back goes out more than you do.
17. Your Pacemaker makes the garage door go up when you see a pretty girl.
18. The little old gray haired lady you helped across the street is your wife.
19. You sink your teeth into a steak, and they stay there.
20. You have too much room in the house and not enough in the medicine cabinet.
21. You get your exercise acting as a pallbearer for your friends who exercise.
22. You know all the answers, but nobody asks you the questions.
23. You're asleep, but others worry that you're dead.
24. You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.
25. You buy a compass for the dash of your car.
26. You are proud of your lawn mower.
27. Your best friend is dating someone half their age...and isn't breaking any laws.
28. You call Olan Mills before they call you.
29. Your arms are almost too short to read the newspaper.
30. You sing along with the elevator music.
31. You would rather go to work than stay home sick.
32. You constantly talk about the price of gasoline.
33. You enjoy hearing about other people's operations.
34. You consider coffee one of the most important things in life.
35. You make an appointment to see the dentist.
36. You no longer think of speed limits as a challange.
37. Neighbors borrow your tools.
38. People call at 9 p.m. and ask, "Did I wake you?"
39. You have a dream about prunes.
40. You answer a question with, "because I said so."
41. You send money to PBS.
42. The end of your tie doesn't come anywhere near the top of your pants.
43. You take a metal detector to the beach.
44. You wear black socks with sandals.
45. You know what the word "equity" means.
46. You can't remember the last time you laid on the floor to watch TV.
47. Your ears are hairier than your head.
48. You get into a heated argument about pension plans.
49. You got cable for the weather channel (sometimes referred to as "Old Folks MTV").
50. You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it.
1. Everything hurts and what doesn't hurt doesn't work.
2. The gleam in your eyes is from the sun hitting your bi-focals.
3. You feel like the morning after and you haven't been anywhere.
4. Your little black book contains only names that end in M.D.
5. Your children begin to look middle aged.
6. You finally reach the top of the ladder and find it leaning against the wrong wall.
7. Your mind makes contracts your body can't meet.
8. You look forward to a dull evening.
9. Your favorite part of the newspaper is "20 Years Ago Today."
10. You turn out the lights for economic rather than romantic reasons.
11. You sit in a rocking chair and can't get it going.
12. Your knees buckle, and your belt won't.
14. You're 17 around the neck, 42 around the waist, and 95 around the golf course.
15. Your back goes out more than you do.
17. Your Pacemaker makes the garage door go up when you see a pretty girl.
18. The little old gray haired lady you helped across the street is your wife.
19. You sink your teeth into a steak, and they stay there.
20. You have too much room in the house and not enough in the medicine cabinet.
21. You get your exercise acting as a pallbearer for your friends who exercise.
22. You know all the answers, but nobody asks you the questions.
23. You're asleep, but others worry that you're dead.
24. You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.
25. You buy a compass for the dash of your car.
26. You are proud of your lawn mower.
27. Your best friend is dating someone half their age...and isn't breaking any laws.
28. You call Olan Mills before they call you.
29. Your arms are almost too short to read the newspaper.
30. You sing along with the elevator music.
31. You would rather go to work than stay home sick.
32. You constantly talk about the price of gasoline.
33. You enjoy hearing about other people's operations.
34. You consider coffee one of the most important things in life.
35. You make an appointment to see the dentist.
36. You no longer think of speed limits as a challange.
37. Neighbors borrow your tools.
38. People call at 9 p.m. and ask, "Did I wake you?"
39. You have a dream about prunes.
40. You answer a question with, "because I said so."
41. You send money to PBS.
42. The end of your tie doesn't come anywhere near the top of your pants.
43. You take a metal detector to the beach.
44. You wear black socks with sandals.
45. You know what the word "equity" means.
46. You can't remember the last time you laid on the floor to watch TV.
47. Your ears are hairier than your head.
48. You get into a heated argument about pension plans.
49. You got cable for the weather channel (sometimes referred to as "Old Folks MTV").
50. You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it.
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When young people's faces look umpire's faces and you wish you knew what they were saying to you.
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RillyNiceGuy: Well that end of the dog was puckered already!
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Jan1305: I look crap in a T! Too much going on there!
Still don´t understand AARP?
Still don´t understand AARP?
American Association of Retired Persons
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takeit4granted: and for the pec's
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Jan1305: I look crap in a T! Too much going on there!
Still don´t understand AARP?
Still don´t understand AARP?
American Association for Retired People
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